I feel like I'm wasting my parents' money

<p>I think that I am wasting my parents' money by going to college. The only reason I didn't drop out is because everyone expects me to go to college. I don't see the point of going to college if I'm not going to make a success of myself. College has made me realize more of what I cannot do than what I can. I've realized that I cannot become a doctor, lawyer, or i-banker. My intellect is not special enough to accumulate great wealth.
I know that some will say that college is for learning and expanding horizons, but if I want to do that I can go to the library, which I already do on my own.
The annoying this is that everything I'm decent at requires schooling. I have a feeling I would mess up vocational training or menial labor because I'm too anxious about accidents and people will get impatient with me. I wish a had a talent or a big break so I can just drop out and not waste everyone's time even further.
I don't see the point in going to college if I'm not going to do any better than my parents, but unless I can find something else to do, I'm stuck here. Should I just do HVAC instead so I can make as much money as I would have if I decided to finish college? As I said before, I might mess up those type of jobs, but now I think that once I get the routine I'll probably be fine.
I currently have an Internet job, but I am still looking for a real one. I like having my own money, but I hope that I can handle the real world while I'm at it.</p>

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<p>“>>… everything I’m decent at requires schooling.<<”</p>

<p>This is why to go to college or at least to get some kind of higher education.</p>

<p>Virtually every profession that exists now requires some kind of post high school education or training for one to be able to earn a living to support oneself.</p>

<p>Going to college doesn’t guarantee wealth. It just is a ticket – particularly for people who aren’t good at working with their hands – to getting a job that will support oneself.</p>

<p>"I’ve realized that I cannot become a doctor, lawyer, or i-banker. My intellect is not special enough to accumulate great wealth. "</p>

<p>The people who accumulate great wealth tend to do it by having strong entrepreneurial skills. In general, doctors and lawyers don’t make great wealth. Some of the people who have attained great wealth – even in modern times – haven’t even graduated from college.</p>

<p>Most people – no matter how smart they are – won’t accumulate great wealth. That’s an unrealistic goal.</p>

<p>It’s just that I feel like I’m doing all of this just to end up being a secretary, or at a desk job making a CEO rich, or if I’m really brave, a starving journalist or writer. I would not mind those type of jobs except for that my parents basically spent this money to make me dispensable.
I’m sure you all have a point, but I’m not in a good mood today for some reason. Sorry if I’ve offended or annoyed anyone.</p>

<p>As Northstarmom is likely to say after reconsidering your post: I suggest you find someone to talk to, preferably a counselor. In worst case, if you’re right, they may suggest some attractive alternatives to college. My hunch is that you’ve talked yourself into a corner with negative self talk and that some professional help may aide you in finding your way out. You won’t know your limits, academically or otherwise, unless you really test them; right now you are thwarting yourself rather than providing yourself opportunities. Good luck on your journey!</p>

<p>One of the sad differences between your generation, OP, and ours (Northstarmom’s and mine) is that we thought it was normal not to have a tremendous sense of direction in college, especially early on, and especially not measured by how much money we would make. Some people know what they want, and that’s fine, but lots of people don’t, and that’s normal. Some of the most successful people I know never had a clue at 20 what it was they would be doing at 30, except they knew for damn sure that it wasn’t going to be medicine, law, or investment banking. </p>

<p>Sometimes they were even wrong about that. I have two sisters. One had to change her major because she couldn’t pass one of the required courses, and then she couldn’t graduate on time because she hadn’t paid attention to the prerequisites. Her major was completely, 100% non-practical. She was basically a C+/B- student. Since she was 35, with no post-college education, her annual income has been in seven figures more often than not. My other sister was a history major at a second-tier state university. She decided to go to medical school at 33–she hadn’t taken a science course since 10th grade–and graduated when she was 40. Neither one’s higher education was a model of efficiency, but neither’s was “wasted”, either. My wife graduated from college summa cum laude, with no job, no job leads, and no clear idea of where to find a job. She’s had a great career, and is a national figure in her field, and everything she has done relates organically to what she did in college.</p>

<p>In hindsight, everyone’s path is pretty clear, and it’s easy to see how one thing grew out of another. Looking forward, at 19 or 20, you can’t expect to be able to see that at all.</p>

<p>JHS- yours is a wise post. </p>

<p>We don’t KNOW where our journey will take us. Some of us think we do, a very few are correct, but most of us are surprised by the twists and turns our lives take. </p>

<p>Education cannot be taken away, and we never know which pieces and parts will turn out to have been essential, helpful, lifesaving, or uplifting.</p>

<p>Only rarely is post secondary education a strictly vocational endeavor in the sense that this major equals that job (especially when looking out 10 years after graduation). I studied zoology. Many years later, my employment is fulfilling, well paid, and has nothing to do with science. I am not alone.</p>

<p>"As Northstarmom is likely to say after reconsidering your post: I suggest you find someone to talk to, preferably a counselor. In worst case, if you’re right, they may suggest some attractive alternatives to college. "</p>

<p>You said it better than I did. :)</p>

<p>My only additional suggestion to the OP is that sometimes one can get excellent career counseling for a reasonable cost at the counseling centers at local public or private universities. For instance, when he was a high school student, younger S got a career assessment done for free at our local public university, which does a limited number of such assessments each year for the general public.</p>

<p>There’s a good chance that your university counseling or career center would offer you such an assessment for free or at very low cost.</p>

<p>JHS indeed posted some very astute observations. It’s so much easier after the fact to understand how our sometimes serendipitous paths ended being exactly what we needed (or wanted but just didn’t know it).</p>

<p>My advice to you, in addition to some counseling which can only provide greater insight,
is not to worry as much about the end game but dig a bit more to pursue some coursework that you might not have considered. I think it’s a terrible pressure to believe that you should already “know” your career path. I didn’t know mine until I was 30, and even then, still thought about other options.</p>

<p>It is totally true that eventually, when you are older and wiser, you will be able to see funny ways and useful ways and surprising ways that your classes mattered many years later. It sounds like SUCH a cliche, but try to take a deep breath and enjoy the journey just a little bit more. Be kinder to yourself. It is true that college isn’t right for everyone. But since you have the opportunity, don’t give up on it prematurely. Your life will be richer (metaphorically and maybe financially too) for the experience.</p>

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So those are the only 3 professions out of thousands you consider worth attending college for? This is a myopic view (but you’re not the only one with it) so you need to open your eyes to reality. There are many other professions that are interesting and challenging work and that also provide the opportunity for strong earnings.</p>

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If it makes you feel better, plenty of not so bright people have accumulated a reasonable amount of wealth. Sometimes achieving this is more about hard work than it is great intellect. Sometimes luck is involved as well. Sometimes it’s just choice. Take a look at some of the scientists, professors, and others who are great intellects yet aren’t wealthy. Look at some of the actors, singers, and others who are wealthy yet aren’t exactly at the top of the stack when it comes to intellect. Look at the thousands and thousands of small business owners who combined their intellect, regardless of the level, with hard work and have become wealthy. </p>

<p>I think you should just put out of your mind the idea of ‘instant wealth’ merely by virtue of achieving a particular degree (doctor, lawyer, i-bank). Firstly, the notion is generally not real, and secondly, you should concentrate more on the willingness to work hard to achieve regardless of what degree you have. Don’t expect the ‘instant succes’ or someone to hand you the golden egg simply because you happened to obtain a particular degree.</p>

<p>another cliche: there is a good likelihood you will find yourself in a career that does not exist today. </p>

<p>Learn. Think. Grow. Never wasted.</p>

<p>'another cliche: there is a good likelihood you will find yourself in a career that does not exist today.</p>

<p>Learn. Think. Grow. Never wasted. '</p>

<p>Well said, mafool. </p>

<p>Since hubby is doing something that did not exist when he was in college, we were able to guide our youngest to pursue an interest rather than a career path. The older sibs selected career paths. </p>

<p>We define success as doing something you find gratifying which is somehow useful/helpful to others or society.</p>

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<p>My career center helped me write my resume. I also found an internship through them. Too bad the Internship didn’t even back. I took a career test and it basically said that I should do either office work or something in the arts. I took a career test in HS and librarian was pretty much the clearest one for me. I’m not sure if I want to be a librarian.</p>

<p>I currently go to the counseling center. Last Monday I asked the therapist if there was a place where I could take an official EQ test because I scored a VERY low score (58) on an online one. He said that I’m not that bad and he did not know of any for the school. For some reason I can’t articulate my feelings to anyone in real life very well. I just talk about general, simple issues because I can’t say anything that is underlying or the root cause of it all.</p>

<p>You are all great. :)</p>

<p>“For some reason I can’t articulate my feelings to anyone in real life very well. I just talk about general, simple issues because I can’t say anything that is underlying or the root cau”</p>

<p>Many people can’t articulate their feelings because when they were growing up, no one helped them identify their feelings. They may have just been told to stop whining or to stop crying or they may have been punished for being angry.</p>

<p>I didn’t learn how to recognize many of my feelings until I was in my twenties. Then I learned as a result of therapy. Even then, though, there were lots of feelings that I didn’t recognize. I wasn’t aware, for instance, of how my bodily sensations could relate to my emotions. For instance, I didn’t realize that being sleepy for no reason could be a sign that I was depressed. I didn’t realize that for me a tight feeling in my throat happens when I begin to get angry. </p>

<p>Be patient with yourself, and know that many people – particularly people who are your age --are struggling with the same kind of things.</p>

<p>TA, my son took a leave of absence after his sophomore year of college, feeling something along the same lines. He ended up not returning to college for 3 years, and then transferring to a different school. </p>

<p>Taking time off is the best decision he could have made – he found a job that he loved an excelled at – he got about as far as you can get with that work without a college degree – and he returned to college with goals much clearer in mind. When he graduated 2 years later he had an impressive resume of experience to back up his education, and was hired at a great job within 2 weeks of graduation. The job he now has requires a bachelor’s degree in his field + 1-2 years specific experience in the field. He had the degree and plenty of experience – so he got the job. </p>

<p>He’s now earning 60% more than he did with the last job he had before getting the degree – so obviously the degree is a good thing to have. But he never would have gotten the job without the experience, and without the work focus he might have chosen a different major. </p>

<p>Talk to your parents. Keep your options open for fall, but consider applying for full time jobs over the summer – and if you find something promising… then you might want to defer the balance of your education.</p>

<p>The year that most of my son’s peers graduated, he noticed that they were all having a hard time finding jobs… and he was employed. Of course, a couple of years later, they had jobs and he was back in school – but at that point he had a clear direction and knew how his education would relate to his future employment.</p>

<p>What do you love? Use college to achieve it. College isn’t the end, it is only a means to the end you have in mind. If your eye is on your passionate interests, and if you’re serious, you can get to that point.</p>

<p>TA, finish college. If you think you can’t do anything with a college degree, what will you be able to do without one?</p>

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<p>That’s true. I do not even like strong displays of emotion myself. I feel guilty if I mention a problem to others because I know that most people don’t care.</p>

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<p>Nice reminder.</p>

<p>TA- you have found some people here who DO care. And we haven’t even “met” you.</p>

<p>The world is not as cold as you think. </p>

<p>Get thee to the counseling center. Take copies of all your posts here with you and show them to your counselor. If you do not click with your first counselor after 3 sessions, request another one. Do not give up.</p>

<p>As for HVAC…do you really want to work in hot attics in the summertime? That sounds like a terrible job to me.</p>

<p>As for wasting your parents’ money… my guess is they know you well enough to know that you are not very focused on career goals at this point in your life. Nevertheless, they are paying for your college because they want to do that and they believe it will benefit you in the future. I’d urge you to accept their generosity…and occasionally say thank you. ;)</p>