<p>My parents currently have one million dollars sitting in the bank; they've been saving for a long time. Right now, my parents don't work and, understandably, they aren't motivated to get another job... why work when you don't need to?</p>
<p>Yesterday we had "the college talk." My parents said if I want them to finance my education, I have to go to a UC school (I'm a California resident) or other similarly priced school. If I chose to attend an expensive small liberal arts college, I'll have to take out student loans to cover the difference.</p>
<p>A lot of my friends can go wherever they want without worrying about financial restrictions, and I'm resentful of my parents for telling me that they can't afford to send me to a more expensive college... I mean, really, don't they have the means to? According to my parents, I'm selfish for expecting them to waste their retirement money on an expensive college education. Both my parents paid their way through college without any help, and they think I should be thanking my lucky stars for their willingness to finance a UC education for four years. I'm not thanking my lucky stars, however; I find myself bitter over the fact that they refuse to pay for a $40,000/yr education.</p>
<p>I have my heart set on Colby, Bates, or Bowdain... but is it worth it to be in $25,000 to $30,000 a year debt? Should I just accept the fact that I'm UC bound even though I hate living in CA and don't particularly like any UC schools? What are my options here? I doubt any college would give me financial aid given my parents situation. And I'm not exactly scholarship material at any of the competitive colleges, either... I don't have brilliant scores or gpa- I pretty much fall within the average admittance range. </p>
<p>Any advice would be greatly appreciated! And if you think I'm a spoiled rich kid, feel free to tell me so.</p>
<p>All I can say is that's a bummer. I have no right to judge the way your parents have decided to raise you, so yeah. And it's like, what are you gonna do? They paid for your life so you pretty much have no say in the matter beside your plea. Sorry I can't offer any advice or help, only my sincerest empathies.</p>
<p>You're going to have to make the decision about whether or not going to one of the schools you mentioned is worth all the money. It is their money -- although I can see why you'd be upset. Look at it this way: if you end up paying for the majority of your higher education, you won't be indebted to them, which can be a good feeling.</p>
<p>I personally don't think it's worth it to go $120k in debt. That's A LOT of money you'll have to pay off for the rest of your life. Apply to those schools anyway and also apply for outside scholarships. You never know - you might get a good merit based package at one of your dream schools.</p>
<p>With that said, I personally don't think you're being selfish. Then again I'm lucky in that I was raised and told by my parents that I should go to whichever school I want, regardless of the cost. They aren't very rich but they think it's their responsibility to finance my education. I feel lots of sympathy for you, but have solace in the fact that you'll enjoy your undergrad anyway.</p>
<p>When you grow up and settle down, afford your kids the opportunities you wish you had. Good luck and I'm sure it'll work out in the end :)</p>
<p>I think your parents are humbling you, and kudos to them. I wish my parents had $100,000 saved up (they basically have none), not to mention $1,000,000 saved up. You probably don't want to hear this, but I think they are doing the right thing. You aren't always going to get free passes in life, and your parents are teaching you this with their proposal to you. You seem to have a really good head on your shoulder so I'm sure things will turn out for you. To be honest of course I would be bitter as well. But you've got it better off than I do, so I really can't empathize too much with you - sorry... Hope everything turns out though.</p>
<p>I hear ya. Same thing, only my parents arent as rich, so I'm not that resentful. Just kinda blue. But i thik it depends on which UC you end up getting into, you might like it.</p>
<p>My parents told me that I had to apply to at least one college where I could go for under $15,000, so it would officially be my decision if I wanted to break my trust fund. Make a bargain with yours that you'll apply to some UCs and also some other schools, and then, based on decisions and scholarships, you can then make a decision about how much debt you want to incur. Best of luck!</p>
<p>ebony
You are very lucky to live in California, which has some excellent State schools. If you think you can get into Bowdoin, wouldn't you have a fair shot at Berkeley and UCLA?
Geeez...
Apply to all the Cal State schools, and then apply to the ones you want...maybe you will get a merit award, and maybe they will pay the difference.
If they worked hard and saved $1m. that is amazing. At least you won't have to worry about taking care of them in their old age.</p>
<p>parent here. If you want to go away to school, lower your sites on slightly less selective LACs that offer good merit money, i.e., where your stats are in the top quartile of their class. The costs for UC is ~16k/yr, so the difference is $25k. If you can obtain some merit money, and are willing to work summers and earn a few $$, then the differential comes down.</p>
<p>It sounds like your parents want to make sure that you learn what they learned the hard way: That if you really want something, it's worth it to work for it.</p>
<p>In my opinion, it's great that they're willing to send you to a California public university. Your state has some of the best universities in the country. It's also nice that they're willing to chip in and help if you decide to go elsewhere.</p>
<p>You say your heart is set on certain pricey colleges. If those colleges mean that much to you, why not foot the difference? If you don't want to do that, there really are plenty of similar colleges that if your stats are strong would probably give you merit aid. You also could take out some loans and work during the school year or summer to help pay for your dreams.</p>
<p>One way your not being selfish though is sort of because of the financial aid issue. If they didn't have so much money you could get financial aid! So they put you in a tough position that way, although I agree that the California schools (especially the top ones) are pretty great.</p>
<p>Be practical, start to work within your constraints. With all respect to Colby, Bates, and Bowdoin, there are also fine and less expensive schools on the West Coast. Start to look into them. My niece found a liberal arts, small, but state-supported college in her state. She got a scholarship, but would have saved a ton of money anyway even without that. Maybe you can do the same in California. </p>
<p>With such an enormous variety of climates, geography, cities, and lifestyles in California, it is hard for me to understand how you can simply reject that huge state outright. And remember we are only talking about four years, you can move anywhere after that.</p>
<p>I believe that you can have a great and fun college education while staying within the constraints you have. you will also have the satisfaction of having earned it, of having found your own way.</p>
<p>I agree with your parents. A million dollars is actually not that much money anymore...especially for somebody who is planning to retire in California. UC-Berkeley is one of the top 10 universities in the nation. UCLA isn't far behind. I see no reason why your parents should spend close to 20% of their lifetime savings on a LAC education that is no better than the far cheaper in-state alternative. If the UCs were average universities, I would understand, but they aren't average, they are actually excellent.</p>
<p>So, to answer your question, no, you aren't being selfish, but you aren't putting yourself in your parent's shoes either.</p>
<p>Without knowing all the details, impossible to fully understand your parents' position- such as their ages, their health, whether you have siblings, how hard you have applied yourself ("I'm not exactly scholarship material at any of the competitive colleges, either... I don't have brilliant scores or gpa- I pretty much fall within the average admittance range.") But let's assume that your parents have no pension, just the 1 million in the bank which they are hoping to be able to live off of until they die. They are offering to pay for you to attend a UC. UCLA estimated costs for this year for in-state students is $22,641/year, which with the way college costs have been increasing therefore probably total more than $100K for 4 years. So your parent are offering to give you 10% of the entire wealth they have accummulated by working their whole lives and the opportunity to attend many great top ranked universities and you're "bitter". Selfish?- I don't know, you tell me?
FYI- I may be biased as I am a parent, I paid for college on my own by working and with loans, I went to Cal, and I have told my children basically the same thing your parents told you. I still remember the kids at Cal who's parents paid for everything. I think I got a lot better education than they did because I took things seriously. Perhaps your parents have all the money they could ever need, but they are just trying to teach you a good lesson - that it takes hard work and sacrifice to really accomplish things in life.</p>
<p>I'm slightly partial to a private school education, and I would also pick Colby, Bowdain or any other similar private school over a UC. Not that the UC system is bad, it has a stellar reputation...but I definately think it is not for everyone. I know many people who went to a UC just because its cheaper than a private university, but now they are just merely 'content' with their choice. You will get a more personalized education at a smaller private school and you're professor will know you by your first name, and I think that is why the tuition is so high - you get what you pay for. In the end if you do go to a UC, you will surely get a good education but in reading your post, why go somewhere where you're not going to be happy?
In response to you being a "spoiled rich kid," you'll fit right in at Colby or Bates.</p>
<p>I don't think you are being selfish, but I can understand your disappointment. We all want life handed to us on a silver platter. I do think it is your parent's choice as to how they want to spend their $$. I also don't think that they are being selfish; I agree with other posters that they are teaching you a lesson in values and in making choices. You are fortunate that they are willing to foot the bill for a UC-value education. Many students don't have that as an opportunity. They've given you clear guidelines - there is plenty you can do with those guidelines.</p>
<p>Grow up kid. Once you are 18 and graduated from high school your parents don't owe you a thing. Out of the goodness of their hearts they are offering to pay for an in-state education. If you don't like it then pay for yourself elsewhere. However, based on the attitude expressed here, are you sure you are ready for college? Maybe you should try getting a real job for awhile and see how you do. Otherwise; clam up. You are giving your generation a bad name.</p>