I got caught cheating. What should I do?

Parents Forum
21

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A 16-year-old girl said she knows several of the students involved in the cheating. It began in a classroom when one student accessed the school's computer network, she said....“It was going to be a one-time thing, but they kept getting away with it,” she said. “

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<p>These kids could have been saved from harsh disciplines if the girl student reported to school or told them to stop earlier. I am appalled to see many students on CC saying cheating is normal and should not be business of other people to report.</p>

22

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Because of utter stupidity, I decided to change my grade. When she came back, she immediately realized that someone has changed my grades.

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<p>HOpefully that was a typo. Was it a grade or grades? My point is: whatever you did, when you discuss it with your parents and teacher, take complete and total responsibility for every part of it. Tell one story. Cling to the truth now and you'll survive this bad event.</p>

23

<p>UPDATE:</p>

<p>I got off easy. I am suspended for two days. The vice principal said this will not go to my transcript and I am allowed to send teacher recommendations to colleges.</p>

<p>However, I am seriously screwed. I've always thought I had a decent chance at a top 10 college, but this suspension changes everything. How am I ever going to justify this? They will surely never accept me. I'm not even sure if my state college will accept me...</p>

24

<p>Past is past....</p>

<p>You made a really stupid mistake, but quite honestly there is nothing you can do about it at this point. Just try your best, life is about having fun, not worrying about what lies ahead in the college admissions game .....</p>

<p>After all, even if you went to a top10 Univ. and a top10 Grad school, what would life be without fun? That's what we all should live for (although obviously dilligence is important.)</p>

25

<p>Do some research here. Stop by the counselor's office and ask what exactly is in your record, what words are being written down in the file as reason for your suspension. Don't argue about the wording, just find out what the words will be. Understand how does your school characterize what you did, in their words.</p>

<p>Also, what exactly will be the question these "top l0" schools will ask you? Is there a place to state any suspensions for disciplinary reasons and explain them? If so, during your suspension, give some thought to how you will reply to those questions. But first, look up the actual questions as they appear on the application forms of the actual colleges (on websites). Do they seem to want a sentence, or a paragraph of explanation. Try to align what you'll say with what words the school writes down on your academic record.</p>

<p>You are assuming that you will be punished for honesty on those forms, and that only top l0 schools care about honesty. Not so. </p>

<p>I am just guessing that if you got off "easy" as you say, it is because you have an unblemished record of honesty up to that moment when you lost your mind in that teacher's room. If you live this out as a one-time-only terrible mistake in your high school career, for which you are completely sorry, and can compose a sentence about it that demonstrates it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you might prove to a college that you have figured out the value of academic honesty forever, so would be an acceptable candidate.</p>

<p>Put differently, why would a fourth-tier local college want you, either, if you can't come to grips and express what you think about what just happened this week.</p>

<p>You have done something terribly wrong, but your job now is to reflect on how to learn from it so that it doesn't re-occur in your life in any way, shape or form. You're young and you made a serious mistake. What you learned from that mistake might be more important than your other worries about which college will take you. If you can learn enough and change enough, a good college might still consider you someday. Focus on today, however. Really reflect during your suspension on yourself, and not your admissions prospects in a few years. That's a story that will unfold in its own due course.</p>

26

<p>Yes, I feel bad for what I've done. My teacher will not look the same way at me again. My punishment was more lenient because this was a first time offense <a href="for%20anything">I</a>* and I accepted full responsibility.</p>

<p>In most college applications, it asks specifically if you were ever "suspended or faced disciplinary action." If you said "yes," you need to write an essay about it. There is no way of getting around that question.</p>

27

<p>Okay, so why do you think a college wants to take its time to read your essay explaining things? Maybe they want to see what meaning you derived from that experience. Perhaps, if you're smart enough to think about "top l0 colleges" already, you can spend some suspension time reading some philosophers about honesty and morality, or issues in academic integrity today (google is your friend). </p>

<p>You might also decide you need to give back some time to others as a way of assuaging your guilty feelings, which you could do through some summertime civic works to help clean up your school or community. </p>

<p>You certainly could write a letter to your beloved teacher. </p>

<p>In other words, don't just do your academic work during this suspension. Use the time to dig deeply into what happened, what you think about it, and what acts you can take next to help redeem the broken trust. That's eventually what you might write about to the colleges in that essay. </p>

<p>Apparently, they don't say "If you had a suspension, tear up your application and don't even bother to apply." Evidently, they want to read what you'll have to tell them about it, a few years from now.</p>

<p>What will you say when the time comes about how you responded in the days and weeks following this incident? Your life is a slate; now go write upon it.</p>

28

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You might also decide you need to give back some time to others as a way of assuaging your guilty feelings, which you could do through some summertime civic works to help clean up your school or community. </p>

<p>You certainly could write a letter to your beloved teacher.

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In Denial:
I was thinking about this before. Since your teacher is no doubt both offended and disappointed by the cheating (but probably heartened by your fessing-up), have you thought of doing something to help her out in class to further demonstrate your regret? Maybe you could offer and see what she says. If you do it now as opposed to while confessing, she won't think you're just grubbing for less punishment - it'll be more sincere.</p>

<p>This assumes you'd want to.</p>

29

<p>Sounds like your school handled this responsibly and you will get past this. </p>

<p>I do want to point out, however, that had you admitted it to the teacher on the spot, the first time she asked, your consequences may have been even less severe. I realize the 'deer in headlights' reaction isn't unusual-but for the future, when you mess up, its better to admit it quickly and make immediate amends. Not only does denial compound the initial fault, but it makes the aggrieved party angry and upset, almost guarantees that they talk to others (call your parents and notify the administration in this case), and often takes the issue of 'consequences' out of their hands. (Our school has a policy of 'zero tolerence' for a number of transgressions, causing teachers to under-report 'events' because they feel the punishment is overkill. They prefer to handle matters privately where possible.)</p>

<p>Once again, lots to think about. You will get past this.</p>

30

<p>You have received some wonderful advice. Something like this did happen to a friend of my son. The friend did have more difficulty re: college acceptances than I would have expected (based solely on grades, ECs, SATs) so I suspect it did lower him on many college lists. I think that is understandable. BUT he did eventually get into a good college and as far as I know has fared well there. This one event has affected your life, but it need not define it. Learn and move on. Adjust your college list to include "deeper" safeties than you otherwise would. A lot of amazing students graduate from non top 10 schools.</p>

31

<p>Not only is there a lot of cheating going on in high school, it continues into college. There have been a couple major incidents involving large numbers of Wharton students in the last couple of years. </p>

<p>You will have to write an "Explanation of Suspension". Since this offense involves academic dishonesty, it could impact your admission to colleges more than a drinking or "prank" offense. It will not affect your admission to state schools quite as much. They are simply much more numbers driven and many don't even ask the question about suspensions. Your explanation needs to be concise and free of justification and excuses. If you really remediate yourself in the teacher's eyes, that could go a long way towards helping you.</p>

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<p>While I'm sure that all schools would take a situation about honesty seriously, the OP is right in terms of it affecting his chances at "top" schools". With the exception of UVA, my son applied to schools that are ranked between 50-100, and none of them had the "suspension" question on it. UVA did. </p>

<p>The reason I was totally aware of this, was because my son was suspended in 9th grade for a prank, so when application time came around we were very nervous.</p>

<p>At the begining of senior year I asked the guidance department how the schools would view this. Their answer was to ask me if it had been an "out of school suspension"- it wasn't. Basically they told me that they do not report "in school suspensions" to the schools, so they told my son that because he did not have time off from school, he was NOT technically suspended and he should not report it to the school. </p>

<p>While I think cheating is far more serious than building a snowman on the roof of a school (yep that's what he did) I can't help but be curious as to whether or not your suspension was "in" or "out" of school.</p>

33

<p>It is entirely possible that colleges will be able to understand that you accept responsibility for having done this. They know that kids sometimes do stupid things. Heck, college students also do stupid things. Heck, ADULTS DO STUPID THINGS!! The important thing is for you to own up to it. It really was not a mistake, but it was wrong. A student from the school where I teach brought a lot of alcohol on a school trip a few years ago, and one student got alcohol poisoning and had to got to the hospital. She was fine, but the "bringer's" discipline was a three week suspension. Of course, he was very worried about college (he was a junior at the time, so yeah, good thing to worry about). He wrote his essay about the importance of owning his life, and he was accepted at most of his schools. He was up front and very remorseful about the whole thing. I think things would have turned out very differently had he not accepted responsibility. I suggest you do the same thing. One of the good things about being a young person is that we know you may do things that might not be using the best judgment. You are pretty lucky that you "got off easy." Try to relax, move on, but I don't really think you should put the whole thing behind you. Learn from this incident and become a more mature person.</p>

34

<p>Unfortunately some top schools do take cheats with disciplinary actions for cheating. At least 8 kids from D's HS with cheating disciplines were admitted to several schools listed in USNWR (one is in the top 10).</p>

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<p>"g. At least 8 kids from D's HS with cheating disciplines were admitted to several schools listed in USNWR (one is in the top 10)."</p>

<p>I suspect that your D's h.s. is not including the info about cheating on cheaters' transcripts and in the GC reports.</p>

36

<p>In denial...this is the making of a great college essay. you can use your essay to talk about temptation and personal growth and what you learned about yourself. A lot of college admissions officers whom I have talked to love the essay that follows the trajectory of "I f***ed up big time. Here's what I did. Here's what I learned." You can't sugar coat it and because you are starting with the premise of honesty they have no reason the mistrust the rest of your essay.</p>

37

<p>Id, chalk this up to a bad decision(not uncommon for a teenager or adult) and a lesson learned.</p>

<p>I can assure you that even though it may have an adverse inpact on your college applications, it will not have any longterm impacts on your life. In fact if it makes you more cognizant of the importance of personal integrity, the positives will far outweigh the negatives.</p>

<p>Be assured that there is no magic bullet impact associated with attending a highly selective or ranked college either. There are hundreds of great colleges that you can attend and in the end it is really your intelligence, diligence and other personal attributes that will determine your success in life.</p>

38

<p>I agree with the advice of paying3tuitions in post 27. Yes, it may make your admissions file more chancy that you have a suspension for cheating and build a more varied list and not just top ten schools....BUT.....a lot will depend on how you approach it and as she wrote, these schools ask if you were suspended and to explain the suspension....and they don't say, if you were suspended, don't bother applying. And so they do read the "explanations" and this statement on your end will be very very important in your demonstrating what you learned and how you have changed since this incident of poor judgment. And having a GC or teacher also write about changes you have made will bode in your favor even though this suspension is a mark on your fine record.</p>

39

<p>I would immediately suspend your focus on making things look right on college applications...and immediately focus all your efforts on making restitution for a serious mistake which you have made. Yes, we all make mistakes and the most important thing now is not that you somehow erase the issue,, but that you do what mistakes help us do best- learn. </p>

<p>If you do this, then perhaps those whose trust you have exploited will someday be able to rally to your side.</p>

40

<p>I disagree with DHRB (above). Do NOT make this your main college essay. Just handle it well on the Explanation of Suspension. I, too, am quite well-educated about suspensions etc.</p>