I got suspended and I don't know what to do.

So I got suspended for a really stupid reason-- I said some nasty things about another girl on social media, to make it short. I’m a senior in high school and I’m in the middle of my application process. I’ve submitted some of them already but I still have a few to submit. I actually had/am having a mental breakdown because my chances of getting into my dream university will definitely be lowered now that I have a disciplinary record. On the common app, it asks if I’ve ever been suspended. My principal assured me that he wouldn’t let colleges see the suspension, or maybe he means the details of the suspension (even though his promises mean nothing to me because he said I wouldn’t get suspended like the day before), and I don’t know what to do??? Should I check yes or no on the application? Should I hide behind what my principal said? My counselor assured me that they wouldn’t send it and my suspension doesn’t show up on my transcript… do the common app colleges want anything other than my transcript??? Please help I’m dying and in desperate need of reassurance

guidance office told me that schools don’t ask for disciplinary records unless there are red flags- like multiple hs transfers. good luck

I don’t know if there is a question in the common app today for the GC on disciplinary issues, but there used to be. Are you saying your GC plans to lie?

intparent, there still is that part in the common app. Not lie, but withhold?

When they ask a “yes or no” question, and you say “no”, that is a lie.

The first thing you need to do is to apologize to the girl you offended.

Being nasty to someone online doesn’t seem like a stupid reason to get suspended, and I absolutely wouldn’t show this little remorse to colleges.

It may seem like the end of the world, but instead of making another mistake by lying about it, the thing to do is own it completely.

Take your opportunity to explain what you’ve learned from this. I suspect that some universities can feel merciful about this and life can go on.

LOL, if your worried about one suspension, don’t be. I was suspended in the 7th grade for blowing up the boys toilets with a cherry bomb. I was suspended five days as a Junior for smoking weed in the gym during school, and received six months of assigned study for that. As a Senior, my friend and I threw the biggest Senior party which nearly 70% of the graduating class attended, and we were suspended three days for that one. I was arrested three time before I was 18, for possession of alcohol, possession of an altered license, and driving with a suspended license. I graduated Boston College mind you. The world understands that boys will be boys, and youthful stupidity is outgrown. Your little issue is no big deal and colleges will see it as such. You are covered by free speech and just general immaturity. Don’t sweat it.

I disagree with @JustOneDad. Checking the discipline box will harm your application. Imagine you were an admissions officer at a highly selective school. You have 10 very qualified applicants all for 1 spot. They all have high SAT’s; can’t differentiate there. All of them have high GPA’s; can’t differentiate there. Check disciplinary history; 9 have no history and 1 has disciplinary history. Are you actually going to see what the individual learned form this breach of character? Probably not. You’ll throw out the application and focus on the other 9.

That being said, you can’t lie on your application. Integrity is the name of the game. It seems odd to get suspended for saying something online like that…was it worse than you’re making it seem?

Okay…I’m imagining that…I’m also imagining some mercy for a student who did something that the majority of people used to do when I was in school, and which has now become an offense, *that, when punished/i gets you a suspension.

You need to admit the suspension. When the details get to the colleges they will see this as very low impact. I don’t think it will affect your admission decisions at all.

Yes, you need to mention it.
Much better if you mention it and your school does not, than if you do not mention it and your school does (or the college learns of it some other way).

You proved your immaturity and have likely cost yourself admittance at selective universities.

Do not fear however! A state university of even community college for the 1st two years can be a valuable asset to clean yourself up.

ichen, is this a suspension or a detention? Be very clear about the language. Schools don’t want to know about detentions or ‘in house suspension’ as they are sometimes called and they don’t appear on your school record. You do not need to report this. If it is a suspension - a real suspension - then it appears on your school record and you must report it. Lying on an application is unacceptable. But not reporting a detention or ‘in house suspension’ is perfectly fine. (And I assume you have indeed apologized to the person you publicly smeared and won’t be doing it every again, right?)

It’s time to go back to your guidance counselor and get clarification since this is much more than a minor matter of semantics. I agree with those who say that if you are applying to selective schools, this is a deal breaker for many of them. There are simply too many good applicants with no disciplinary action (or it was for some minor offense in 9th grade and hence easily overlooked) for them to bother with a student suspended this year.

I am really worried when posters to CC who report medical conditions that aren’t being treated.

If this:
" I actually had/am having a mental breakdown"

is not an exaggeration, you need immediate psychiatric help.

If it is an exaggeration, you need to be honest and move on, and know that yes, it might affect you college application process.

BUT: If the principal told you you are suspended, and you served your suspension, and it is NOT on your school record, you can say “No, I haven’t been suspended” because it is not really a suspension if it is not on your record.

Those of us with special needs kids understand that - the school wants to suspend my kid for behavior related to their disability, but they don’t want to trigger a review by the government, so they just send him home for an “off the record” suspension. BUT you need to make sure 100% that it is not on your record if the principal told you that. For example, you can ask your guidance counselor to see your school records and look yourself for any notation.

@Ichen123, No good comes from making nasty comments about others. But unless this was during school hours or on a school sponsored website, I’m wondering why the school would be involved. I don’t believe they have the authority to monitor you and punish you for things you do in your personal life.

I’d get your parents involved if they’re not already. Unless the school can show you a state regulation that permits them them such a broad scope of power, I’d make sure it doesn’t appear on your record and that you’re permitted to complete any assignment you missed without penalty.

In the future, you may want to refrain from being nasty to people. If prospective employers use social media to weed out applicants, that sort of behavior won’t help you.

Just to clarify, you want to make sure that if you say to the colleges to which you are applying, “I was not suspended” and someone decides to call your GC to confirm (unlikely, but you never know), your GC would say ‘that is correct. This student was not suspended.’ As long as your GC is willing to say that, then you are not obligated to report anything.

I don’t want to leave you with the impression that I am condoning the behavior that got you into trouble. I’m just aware that there is a world of difference between nastiness that should be nipped reprimanded and harm-inducing viciousness for which a suspension is richly deserved. We on CC don’t know what happened. Only your GC and principal can opine on how serious the transgression was and how much ‘punishment’ is necessarily to ensure that this lesson sticks. If they are willing to let it pass with an ‘in school suspension,’ that is their professional prerogative. But you need to make very sure that you aren’t in a position where you are lying either directly or by omission and only the GC can tell you that.

I would not lie about it