I hate my college. Thoughts?

Student Lounge College Life
1

This year, I am a sophomore at a small, Southern college and I really hate the school. When I ranked all the schools I applied to senior year of high school, this school was literally at the bottom–honestly below the bottom. I really didn’t even rank it because I didn’t care about it.

I will admit that freshman year, especially the first semester, I was pissed off all the time and did not really put myself out there, but after that semester I tried to be more positive. I really have tried to like this school. I’ve tried my hardest to have a good disposition about my current situation, but I can’t help feeling upset when I think about my college.

This school is the complete opposite of what I wanted in a college.

  1. I wanted to go to a mid-sized school (5,000-10,000 people). This school has just barely passed 2,000 students. It is way to small.
  2. I wanted to go to a school in a lively city. This school is in a rundown city, an urban center if you will. People call it a city but coming from a place like Atlanta. This city is not a real city. My college is also situated in a horrible location. I love walking around and there is nothing within walking distance. The nearest grocery store is probably a 15 min drive away and I since I don't have a car, I have to use Uber and Uber prices rack up QUICK.
  3. The actual size of this campus is so small and flat. Again, I really enjoy just walking around outside and taking in the fresh air. I have literally walked on every part of my campus. There are no new places to explore on the campus because I've seen all of it. Also, the part of town where my school is located is not the safest area. At the beginning of the semester, someone was robbed at gunpoint not far from the campus. I was also told, there was some van following girls when they walked around.
  4. It lacks diversity. I am African-American and I knew that there was not doing to be a lot of racial diversity at this school when I arrived, but it surprised me how little racial/ethnic diversity there is here. I went to a majority white Catholic school, so I am no stranger to being the only POC in a room. With this being said, the lack of racial/ethnic diversity didn't really bother me. The lack of diversity of thought was more disheartening. I am not a partier. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Call me boring, lame. I don't care. Everyone at the school likes to party. I've tried talking to people, but often time the conversations lead to some frat party. I know there are people out there like me I just can't find them. This leaves me feeling isolated.

Like I said earlier, I really have tried to be positive because I don’t like being upset and depressed all the time. I am also an introvert, so I really enjoy and love being alone. I just like my personal space and doing things on my own time. I am also very work-oriented and have a type-A personality. Being an introvert, workaholic, and type-A person really pull me out of the social sphere. With that being said, I don’t mind it. I really do like being alone. Because of my personality and the fact that I have my school, I have no personal attachment to my school and I feel like that is bad.

I don’t have any friends and that is my fault because honestly, I don’t want to associate with anyone at this school. I do talk to people and I have been to club meetings, but I can never see to hit it off with anyone. I don’t feel a connection to anyone and of the people I’ve talked to, I don’t want to foster a friendship with them. I feel like this is pretty messed up.

I feel like if I actually liked my school, I would be more motivated to make friends and form lasting relationships with people. I hate my school and because of that, I try my hardest to just do my work so I can hurry up and leave. When I’m at school, all I’m doing is cunting down the days until I go back home. I have no desire to bond with anyone or anything on that campus. Again, this is pretty messed up, but I have no desire to change it. Being alone doesn’t bother me at all.

The only thing I like about school is school. I only enjoy my classes because I find the subject matter interesting. I have good grades and a good GPA, but that’s it. The only good thing I have is my GPA. I have no social life, which is my fault. But like I said above, I attribute some so my lack of a social life to the location, which has severely hindered my will to engage with people. While I do like my classes, I only like them because of the topics. I can enjoy those same courses somewhere else.

I really want to transfer, but my parents won’t allow me to. The reason I am at this school is because I got an academic scholarship. Since I am getting money to go to this school, my parents said I cannot leave. I am extremely unhappy here, but my parents feel that the school cat be that bad. I don’t think they really understand how I feel. They think it is a good school that will afford me the opportunities and experiences I need to do well in law school. While this might be true, I am tired of sacrificing my happiness. I know that life is not always going to be butterflies and gumdrops. I know that we are meant to experiences different hardships and struggles, but I do not want to waste what is supposed to be the “best years of my life” being so unhappy.

I am tired of always having to put on a brave face. I am tired of having meaningless conversations with people. I am tired of having to smile in people’s faces when really just want to lay in my bed. I am tired of college. I want to graduate and move on.

I feel like I’m coming to terms with the fact that I am stuck here, but I can’t shake the negative feelings I have associated with this school. I want to have more to show for my college years than just good grades and internships. I just want to be happy and I know that I can find that happiness somewhere else, but I can’t find it here.

To whoever is reading, what are your thoughts? What can I do to find happiness in my current situation? What, if anything, can I do to make my parents understand me? Do I need to transfer? Am I overreacting?
I am at a loss and I will appreciate any opinions.

Thanks.

It is crazy how when I first started writing this I was upset. Now that I’ve finished, I’m just sad.

Also, please overlook any grammatical errors, I haven’t the energy to change them.

1 Like
2

I’m sorry that you are having such a rough time.

I can understand your parents’ position with your scholarship since it’s tough to get money as a transfer student.

Is there a way for you to study abroad next year?

Lots of people don’t think college are the “best years”. You aren’t alone in not liking your school.

Hugs to you!

3

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. The school doesn’t sound like a great fit for your personality and for your interests, and that can be difficult. I think adjusting to college in the best of circumstances can be challenging, so I empathize with your situation!

It sounds like you’ve identified that there are both internal and external factors contributing to your current unhappiness, and I would absolutely suggest talking with your school counseling services about how you’re feeling. Depression could be a factor, and even if not, having someone to talk to can be helpful, especially as it sounds like you’re craving connection.

At such a small school, I wonder if you are able to get closer with some of the faculty? Being involved in a research study or a creative endeavor might be fulfilling and maybe you could look at studying abroad in the next year or so.

Wishing you the best.

4

You sound like me many many years ago. What I did was study harder, add more classes, and graduate a year early. Is this something you could do? Otherwise, studying abroad for a year is another great option.

5

Some ideas/questions:

  • if you are able to transfer to a school that meets full need for transfers, would your EFC be affordable (with maybe the federal loans only if your parents won’t help)?
  • can you study abroad for a semester or year?
  • can you study somewhere else domestically for a year? My daughter’s college has agreements with a couple other US schools for students to study there for a year.
  • can you graduate early and move on entirely?
6

Sorry you are in this situation. I recommend you so the following:
– Look into doing your junior year abroad or at another US college your school has an agreement with.

  • Schedule an appointment at the college’s counseling center.
  • See if you can find any more attractive alternatives that would not cost more than your current college.
    -Never forget that the immediate goal is getting a college degree. College is not the best time in everyone’s life.
7

Study abroad can be a great “pick me up” for the curious student. I "third"that option.

This is a small enough college… start a conversation with faculty in a subject area which interests you.

Transfer FA is difficult and you still may not find what you are looking for.

Are there “study groups” in your areas of interest?

Try joining a club activity in an area of your interest. I used to jog and ended running with interesting people. I actually ended up looking forward to our “footpounder” activities. I learned as much from that experience as I did from the classroom. Many fellow runners were faculty.

8

Another idea is to get a PT job or internship. You need to feel part of something bigger than yourself, and campus clubs aren’t doing that for you.

9

I do think there are probably kids like you at your school, and will naturally be harder to find. Are you keeping your eyes open in your classes and dorm, and library, for the studious, hardworking, quieter students? Does your school have any game clubs (like board games…often a spot for the non-partiers/more academically minded). Most schools we visited had an Outdoors Club or outdoors program…that could help with your feeling stifled geographically. Also are you going home every weekend? If you are, it’s going to be harder to build a connection to your school, and find your people.

It sounds very tough and I don’t want to oversimplify, but if transferring is financially not an option, or going back home and going to community college (also sounds like your parents might not like that option), if it comes to that’s where you HAVE to be to get a degree, best to accept it and focus on making the best of it. Don’t allow yourself to focus on the negatives any more. Develop relationships with professors. Dig in more to the academic side.

But absolutely talk to your parents. You could even print your post out and show it to them. You raise a lot of good issues, you’ve thought it over, you’ve admitted your mistakes and your part in it, and you articulate your feelings very well here. Good luck!

10

@humility8. Is there something that you could do in the broader community? Join a church? Find a community service group like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or another cause that might appeal to you? As you’re interested in law, could you find a job or internship in a local law office? Maybe looking outside campus will provide some outlets for you. Is there an outings/outdoors club on your campus that would allow you to go hiking on the weekends? Usually such groups have access to a van or drive-sharing to get off campus. Even if it’s just a local state park, it might give you that fresh air you seek. Hang in there!

11

You definitely need to have a very honest conversation with your parents. Do some research first, so you can talk to them about other option. You have already gotten some great recommendations on this thread that should help get you started.

You mention being from Atlanta. Do you have the option to use Georgia Hope Scholarship money if you transfer to a Georgia college? Does your high school guidance counselor have connections at any Catholic colleges that might be able to offer you good scholarship money as a transfer? Are there any research opportunities at your current college that you could help with, allowing you to meet more people plus gain some educational experience?

Be honest with yourself. Do you want to actually earn a degree from the college you are currently attending? Will you regret being an alumni from that institution?

Our oldest is currently attending college #4 (not consecutively), because her first and her third choice weren’t quite right. (Colleges #2 & #4 are community colleges where she continued to pick up occasional credits.). Not everyone makes the right choice the first time.

12

I’m a little perplexed because you say that you are unhappy and have no friends/social life but you like being alone and doing things on your own time. If I’m understanding you correctly you really do want friends and really do want social life but you feel as if there is nobody there you truly connect with or like. That may be true but you admit you started off with a bad attitude and on the wrong foot. That can be tough to make up for especially at such as small school. You have probably sent the “I’m not interested” message out to your classmates.

Part of college is growing and stepping out of your comfort zone. I remember a college informational visit with my son where the president spoke. She talked about how at college you will become flexible. I’ve always remembered her words. It’s true…college is a place to become flexible and grow in a personal way. This is very small but I would challenge you to challenge yourself to smile at people, make eye contact, truly listen to others (even if it’s small talk), and turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts each day this semester. At the end of each day write down five positive things in a journal. If you really are going to have to stay at this school and you want to feel happier, you are going to have to choose to be happy. With that being said, other posters have given you some excellent suggestions.

study abroad

have a heart to heart with your parents about a transfer.

get a part time job

join civic organizations in the area

find a church

load up on more classes

Hopefully law school will be a better fit for you. In the meantime, hang in there and good luck.

13

If your parents NEED you to stay due to the money situation, you are stuck. So you must find ways to make the best of the situation.

Get a job on or off campus. You will meet new people.
Volunteer either on or off campus. You are more likely to meet people similar to you.
Get involved in a campus religious group if you are religious. They tend to be very accepting and open.

You are not doomed. Many people don’t have the best four years of their lives at college. I didn’t. For me, getting a degree was a means to an end. You do what’s needed to get the degree. And I suspect your parents are right in that this college will help you get where you need to be.

I like the suggestions that you go to the campus counseling center and study abroad junior year. Both great ways to make your college life more bearable.

Stop focusing on the negative. Time to count your blessings. The money your parents are saving and the potential career boost will be worth it in the end.

I suspect that if you find ways to mitigate your unhappiness, you will find that you re happier. Be proactive, instead of dwelling on what sucks. Good luck.

14

You’ve received good advice. If you truly are stuck there due to finances then work hard to gain a better perspective. I know you are young and 2 1/2 more years seems like an eternity, but really it is a short amount of time overall. If you did manage to transfer it could add more time to your degree.

Aside from the challenge of being a POC, you sound like someone who likes being alone and that is OK. Just realize that the old adage “wherever you go, there you are” can have a lot of truth. Let’s say you did transfer somewhere larger with more diversity, would things truly be better? Since you don’t like smoking or drinking and are an introvert, would you really have a better social life? Being a transfer on top of all of this also makes it a lot harder to make new friends.

I too would look into studying abroad.

15

Thank you all for your thoughts. I REALLY do appreciate it. I am going to look more into graduating early if it’s possible. Also, I am studying abroad next year and I’m actually really excited about it! Again, thanks! :slight_smile:

16

My advice would Be to stay at the school and try to transfer into a different college your junior year of college. A lot of colleges have scholarships for junior transfers!