I hate my essay:[ help!

<p>I have both of my UC essays written and I'm pretty much done with one but the other I just finished and I don't know if its that great.
I really need feedbackm especially how to end it.
HELP ME
please :]</p>

<p>i’ll proofread it. not applying to UCs</p>

<p>Okay thank you so much :]
can i private message it to you?</p>

<p>yeppyepp sure</p>