I hate this Ivy League bullcrap. I just can't do it.

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I'm a student at Penn right now, and I just can't take it anymore. My life has gone downhill ever since I set foot on this campus.</p>

<p>In high school, at least I had goals. I was able to get into like 5 Ivies and a bunch of other private schools with perfect SAT scores, valedictorian status -- the works. I also had a relationship going at the time. By the time school began, I felt pretty good about everything.</p>

<p>However, since then, stuff has just piled on. I no longer know what I want to do career-wise. I'm surrounded by people who come from extremely affluent backgrounds, and I am frequently met with condescending remarks because I actually have to work for my own money. I'm working three jobs this summer while others just skate by and land amazing jobs for 20+ year-olds, in large part due to family connections and networkings that I simply don't have. I'm frequently called cheap because I am hesitant to drop money whenever I feel like it. I have to pay for my tuition bills, my food, my clothes -- everything. If I were just flipped money from my parents -- something a lot of kids here partake in -- I'd have no problem. So many people here act so damn spoiled because they spend their parents' money. It's not even like I have a family anymore -- my father died during my senior year of highschool, and ever since then, my family's essentially been permanently fragmented. Hearing from my family members is a rarity, and so I'm virtually alone over here. Nobody seems to understand how much things actually COST. There's no financial responsibility at this school at all from what I can tell, which is ironic considering that it's home to schools like Wharton.</p>

<p>I don't really have any sort of direction with this rant -- I just do not fit in this kind of environment. Money has made things so insanely difficult, and it's gotten in the way of my education, and I regret every second I've been here. People don't know how easy they have it when they are being supported. Trying to do well at an Ivy League school on your own with no support is just impossible. It's impossible.</p>

<p>It's not like I'm retarded and just unable to function, either. Before coming here, I had, quite literally, a perfect profile. 800's everywhere, 4.0 GPA, world records, great recs, great EC's, you name it. Few others had the kind of luck I did in admissions -- 14/15 schools said yes. And most of these were reaches. I knew what I was doing and things were going well. Now it's like a complete 180-degree turn. My GPA and grades are absolutely awful. I have no time to pursue intellectual desires because I spend all my time working to make ends meet. There are no moments of relaxation -- no reprieves. All the while I am constantly being compared to these kids who simply have more support-oriented resources than I do, and I have nothing but envy for others and bitterness for my own situation.</p>

<p>I just wish I would have gone elsewhere. Life is horrible here.</p>

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<p>Would you have preferred a free ride at a good/great State U?</p>

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<p>Going to an Ivy League school is great, but if you are miserable there then it's not worth it. It's like if you were going out with an extremely hot girl and she had a horrible personality and made you feel like **** all the time, it wouldn't be worth going out with her just because she's hot. Find a place that's right for you. Even though it might not be quite Penn or Ivy League, you will be much better off.</p>

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<p>I (and I think most others here will feel the same) have very little pity for you. You chose where you went to school, knowing full well that it would be expensive and you would have to work for it. </p>

<p>You always have the option of transferring to another, less expensive, school.</p>

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<p>Maximus: Looking back, I probably should have, you know? My issue was that I "had great potential" and it felt like if I didn't apply to the best schools in the nation, I was somehow laying that "potential" to waste. I always heard about how the Ivies were magnets for great minds... but I failed to take into consideration that most of these kids are extremely well off to begin with, which I am not. I didn't look too much into state schools because I was generally put under the impression that such schools wouldn't be able to provide the resources and fulfillment that I was after. Unfortunately, I probably couldn't have been more wrong.</p>

<p>HisGrace: The issue though is that my father died once the admissions game was practically over. I didn't know my mother was going to pull a 180 and choose to not support me. She was hit very hard by the death as well and took a very personally-conservative approach to her finances.</p>

<p>For freshman year, the financial aid was not bad. But it's just gotten worse and worse over the years, and transferring is difficult, especially so late in the game.</p>

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<p>All that grace that fills you has impacted your ability to empathize. Sad, very sad for you.</p>

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<p>What do you mean?</p>

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<p>legendofmax-he's talking to me.</p>

<p>I am sorry for your loss, legendofmax, and I admit willingly that I don't know all your circumstances.</p>

<p>But it irks me when people complain about things they chose willingly, yet won't fix it because it's "difficult".</p>

<p>Also realize that even though you're working hard for it, you're receiving an education that people would kill for. If you don't want it, transfer and let someone else have it. Even if it would be "difficult"...who realistically isn't going to accept you coming from Penn?</p>

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<p>legendofmax, I can somewhat feel what you are feeling too, at least the part about high expectations/potential and then having it ruined because of money.
However, the big difference is that I'm still going to be a freshman. In the beginning, during applications process, I didn't look for mid/lower-tier colleges because I just felt it would be a waste of my potential somehow. After being accepted to most colleges and choosing one to go, my family went through a lot of financial problems and I highly doubt that I might even get to attend one this Fall. At the time of application everything seemed to go fine too, but now, not so much. College is a little bit over a month away and I can't find a way. So yeah, I'm pretty disappointed just like you. When I see all those people whose parents are paying everything it kind of annoys me too, but of course it's not their fault at all.
So if I were you, I would evaluate if it's worth it to be in your present condition for the remaining college years. If you decide to transfer to a state school, you never know if later you will be disappointed again.</p>

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<p>legendofmax, I'm sorry to hear about what's happened. I go to Princeton, so I can understand how being around a lot of wealthy people can be irritating. Penn actually seems to have this problem more than most of the Ivies, but it's present in some degree at most schools. What were your career plans initially? Are they no longer a possibility because of your low GPA, or did something else cause the change? I understand how you're reluctant to transfer, and I don't blame you. But if it's at all possible to get a scholarship elsewhere for your last few years, it might be good for you. Unless you plan to go into business, the prestige of your school doesn't matter a great deal.</p>

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<p>i think it's really hard nowadays with college admissions being the be all and end of all of our academic existences as students. so much pressure and emphasis is put on it that when he actually cross that milestone there's a big "now what?" feeling that really makes you lose motivation- especially if you don't have concrete or clear future career plans. i feel the same way. i lost a lot of drive when i got there and realized i didn't have a clue what i was working towards. financially it IS a huge burden on my family and i and it's hard to see your wealthy classmates being able to indulge in they're every whim, be it summer's in Europe, spring break in Cancun etc. and you have to work. but i don't know if thats isolated to only ivy's and top tier schools... anyway, i sympathize max, i do. college isn't all it's cracked up to be in most ways.</p>

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<p>Legendof Max- I'm so sorry you are experiencing such pain fron your Penn experience. The entitled attitudes of wealthy students are surely frustrating and difficult to bear. While they are throwing around their parents' money, you must work incredibly hard for every dollar. Don't let them drive you away from your own future though. YOU are learning valuable life skills they may never absorb: self-reliance, discipline, time and money management. </p>

<p>It seems as if the sudden change of events has intensified your situation. Having your dad pass away in itself is a traumatic event. Compounded with your mom's refusal to pay for college has suddenly plunged you into a whole new world of financial pressure.</p>

<p>Seek out help from the financial aid department regarding loans, and look into the counseling office for help with your grief. And perhaps making an effort to avoid the entitled crowd, and seeking friendships with the other FA students will give you some much-needed comraderie. </p>

<p>It can be difficult to adjust to such a radical change of personal circumstances, but this is a test of character (albeit unpleasant) which will make you stronger in the end.</p>

<p>Don't be afraid to stick with your budget, and bow out of expensive outings with friends. Suggest affordable outings for pizza, museums, coffee, and pass on the dinners and formals. People will get the message, and true friends will be understanding and sensitive. </p>

<p>There will always be insufferable jerks who define themselves by daddy's money..eventually they will all end up in the same firms and country clubs unless their companies goes belly up. If you do transfer to a state school, you could save alot of money, and there would be far fewer elitists. But this may be the time to use the Penn education to build a new future, utilising the internships, jobs, and connections found through your department.</p>

<p>Good luck through this rough time our thoughts are with you.</p>

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<p>A large part of my lack of motivation derives from my extremely poor grades. In high school, I was very good about studying and learning and making sure I was always up to date with things. But in college, I have to work so much to just PAY for things on a day-to-day basis. Purchasing books and managing living expenses and clothes and food and school bills/loans is hellish. And it's just too much work. During the academic year I was working close to 30 hours a week on top of classes. This summer it's closer to 80 hours of work a week. With such a low GPA, I no longer have the kind of power I did in high school. </p>

<p>And yes I am envious when I see classmates just skate by and splurge on random trips, and I don't hate them for that. I only hate it when they make ME feel worse for not being <em>able</em> to do that. </p>

<p>It's also the fact that I put so much effort into college admissions that I burned out when I got to campus. With all the financial issues, energy burnouts, death complications, relationship troubles, and esteem problems, it's just so difficult for me to feel any sort of progress. Everyone here talks about how great Penn is, and yet I feel like I've missed out on everything because I don't see what everyone's talking about. All I see is an environment where everyone has more freedom than I do, more support, more love, and more options. Every day I just wish I could turn back time a few years and start all over.</p>

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<p>Legend, I don't think Penn is the only place this happens. Ivies do not have the corner on well to do kids. In fact, I think about half the kids there and elsewhere are on financial aid of sorts, look at the numbers. My son goes to a state university and his costs are a fraction of a private school's COA, but there is plenty of wealth there as well. All of his housemates have cars except for him, and many of them are having great summers of vacations, internships, leisure, learning while he is pounding salt big time. Yes, there is resentment from him about that especially since his college costs are a fraction of his brothers' who are private school kids. </p>

<p>In fact the cost of going to some of these schools that are not rich enough to provide 100% of need can be higher than state schools and the pressure more. Part of the trick here is to be looking a bit more at kids who in your situation rather than those who are well to do. Believe me, they are there, the numbers say so.</p>

<p>This is not a situation that goes away in life. H and I get every penny from a pay check. Many we know do not. Parental help for mortgages, tuitions, luxuries, etc makes the paychecks go much, much further. If we spend time ruminating about this, the green eyed monster starts glowing to the point of a burn. Yes, there are many who are more fortunate than you are, but there are many more who have less, less , less.</p>

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<p>Stop complaining. Seriously.</p>

<p>Your friends are richer than you? Boo-hoo. If you were strong, that would make you work harder. Your grades suck? Boo-freaking-hoo. If you were strong, that would make you work harder. Life begins with the attitude you choose to adopt. Quite frankly, whiners like you don't deserve to be in the Ivy League.</p>

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<p>I'm amazed at how many people like kicking someone when they're down.</p>

<p>Have a little sympathy. Don't judge unless you've walked in his shoes.</p>

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<p>It seems that the right time for you will come soon. Good things come to those who wait and deserve it.
Good luck and keep your chin high.</p>

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<p>Stress can really destroy a person. In his case, he's basically working double of a full-time job while being a full-time student at the same time. I don't see how it's possible to simply work harder. I'm doubtful if he's even able to sleep.</p>

<p>In any case - apply for a transfer - it can't hurt. Those Ivies really do cost a lot, and if you're not getting full ride, it's probably not worth the cost if you do not manage to fit in.</p>

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<p>I would definitely suggest transferring. You planning on business for sure?</p>

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<p>With all the financial issues, energy burnouts, death complications, relationship troubles, and esteem problems, it's just so difficult for me to feel any sort of progress..... All I see is an environment where everyone has more freedom than I do, more support, more love, and more options. Every day I just wish I could turn back time a few years and start all over.</p>

<p>Max - I know what it's like to lose a family member and not have time to recover properly before you're hit with a new set of calamaties. I really think all this has piled up on you and you're quite normally feeling depressed. It actually can make everything look worse than it is, cause confusion, make change umimaginably difficult, and even cause physical pain. But you do not have to live with it! Please consider taking some time off for yourself and/or finding someone with a sympathetic ear to talk things over with. People on this board can be very rough and I don't think you need/deserve that right now. Please take care of yourself right now, even if it means taking a semester off to recharge your batteries. Good luck!</p>