I need help convincing my parents to let me apply out of state

Parents Forum
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<p>Alabama says that Dec 1st is their “priority deadline” which means that those who apply by that date are guaranteed.</p>

<p>However, Alabama is very into “enrollment management” therefore it wants more kids from OOS (beyond the states that touch Alabama), so it has been known to give scholarships to kids who apply after the date who have good stats.</p>

<p>Your SAT is a desired stat.</p>

<p>Is that your weighted GPA.</p>

<p>If I were you, I’d apply. Then I’ll give you some tips to help get that scholarship. :)</p>

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<p>East Carolina is a solid school. Also, UNC-W has become quite competitive for OOS. NC has some very good public schools! I really wish that we were instate for NC. Don’t feel ashamed to go to one of your public school options. Take advantage of the opportunities offered at any of them. You should feel proud of your hs accomplishments. Honestly, I don’t know what is better about going to some OOS public, over your options within NC. I am being sincere.</p>

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<p>Emily, what are you looking for in college, what do you want to study, what’s your class rank, or percentile?</p>

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<p>My advice: Follow everyone’s advice above. Dismiss all social contacts (parties and such) for the next several weeks if necessary to open up some time for research and clear thinking. With that, you can see what is possible according to mom2collegekids AND all those above her posts. You need many options.</p>

<p>What matters here is you and your future. Least important in the long haul are the beliefs/claims of your high school friends about where they’ve applied to college. In the end, many will attend places they aren’t mentioning today. Of course they’ve “applied to Yale” – but do you think that’s the only place they’ve applied? Not in a heartbeat, because they’re not fools and neither are you. They have reach, match and safeties on their list. </p>

<p>With your friends, I’d recommend becoming VERY quiet now about what you’re doing with application process. Put that energy into crunching out some more possibilities for yourself (ALL of the above advice was excellent, IMO). Don’t miss that one about finding out if your freshman grades actually count at the state school, which was only mentioned once. Embrace the idea that if you go locally, you can and will do great. Then you’ll be in a position to weigh options, including transferring and graduating from “wherever.” Or not, and you’ll still be fine.</p>

<p>Call the local options your “safety” plan. All the kids talking this week about Yale and such have that as a reach, but they also have match and safeties they’re not discussing. </p>

<p>In the end, you and they will go to mostly “match” and “safety” schools, for the economic and competition reasons cited above by many wise parent posters.</p>

<p>Consider Alabama your new “dream” and find out what’s there for you, as outlined by mom2collegekids. See if you can resurrect UNC if they don’t count your freshman grade, as suggested above. Then consider all the other state schools your safety, and believe me you are wisest to “love thy safety” as we tell everyone around here. Embrace your plan and take pride in your search process from this point onward. You may also discover that the “dream” of Alabama becomes overtaken by other options as your best choice, or not. It sounds like parents from around the country are telling you they’re impressed with your state options in NC. </p>

<p>Be proud that you’ve come up with the wisest of all strategies: safety, match and reach. </p>

<p>A year from now, the college friends’ opinions will seem much more important to you than the h.s. friends’ opinions, because peers are peers, and that circle will change.</p>

<p>Act like you know something inside (because now you do…) and pursue this multi-level strategy. Best wishes to you. It will all work out.</p>

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<p>emily92, I have the opposite issue here w/DS. He wouldn’t apply OOS. Like you, he didn’t do well in his first 2 years of HS and is now paying the consequences. His GPA is 3.5 and same SAT as yours. He now realizes how those two years are affecting his chances. He now tutors freshman in English and advises them to buckle down and do their work. I’m proud of him for having grown to see that. Sure, he’s “embarrassed” that he doesn’t have the stats for selective schools like his friends but that’s water under the bridge. </p>

<p>Take your lumps and move on. DH did the same and attended an OOS school. He eventually attended his dream school for an advanced degree. </p>

<p>If it isn’t cost prohibitive to apply OOS, then talk to your parents about it and let them know that your goal is to have a few schools from which to choose in the spring. Like the previous posters have said, in the end, you may choose to stay in-state. It’s just a stepping stone - not set in stone! </p>

<p>What’s important is to look in the mirror - ask yourself what’s best for you and your family. Don’t compare yourself to your friends. You have a whole life ahead of you and there are different paths from which to choose!!</p>

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<p>“Honestly, I don’t know what is better about going to some OOS public, over your options within NC.”</p>

<p>I agree. North Carolina is a well regarded state with excellent public and private universities. It also is in a state with a wide variety of professional jobs, something to keep in mind when considering where to go to college. You’ll have better chances of getting the kind of job/location you want after graduation if you go to college in the state where you’d like to reside after college.</p>

<p>Alabama is a state that in general people don’t think well of. U of Ala is using merit aid to try to attract students to boost its image in hopes that some day people will revere the state and the university the way they revere North Carolina.</p>

<p>I know someone who was head of a corporation in Alabama and had a hard time recruiting people there because people didn’t want to move to Alabama even though he was in a very nice city there, Huntsville!</p>

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<p>I’ve lived in many communities and have learned that high school students everywhere overlook the merits of their nearby options. It goes with being a teen, I think. When we lived in Ottawa, the teens we knew dismissed Ottawa options and hoped mightily to attend college in Toronto. Then we moved to Toronto, and those kids badmouthed the Toronto universities. They longed for Montreal or somewhere in the U.S. It was almost comical. </p>

<p>I hope it’s reassuring to hear some good opinions of your NC options from folks around the country. Not to mention your easy weather, not that that’s a reason to choose a school. But really, you are fortunate in that department. Employment/internship options also are superior in your location to so many other states in this economy.</p>

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<p>Is NC-State an option?</p>

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<p>DD’s uncle lives in NC and wants her to come out this spring to visit schools! Things DO look better out of this state (CA) where we live!</p>

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<p>* Honestly, I don’t know what is better about going to some OOS public, over your options within NC. I am being sincere. *</p>

<p>If she were going to UNC-CH I would totally understand. :slight_smile: And, if she couldn’t get a scholarship to make the cost comparable, I would TOTALLY understand. However, if she could get that 2/3 scholarship, her COA would be about the same (or less) than her in-state public.</p>

<p>While East Carolina may be a “solid school,” it is a 4th ranked tier school, and may not provide the full campus experience that the Emily may want. </p>

<p>Often regional publics don’t have the “full college experience” such as a big sports program, wider depth of majors, etc. ( I don’t know all that she wants; these are just obvious possibilities.)</p>

<p>If the goal is to eventually transfer to UNC-CH, then she can still do that even if she first goes OOS.</p>

<hr>

<p>*I know someone who was head of a corporation in Alabama and had a hard time recruiting people there because people didn’t want to move to Alabama even though he was in a very nice city there, Huntsville! *</p>

<p>yes, some people are just too close-minded to even look into a possibly better situation. Huntsville has the highest concentration of PhDs. So, some people are just wanting to hold onto silly notions.</p>

<hr>

<p>Alabama is a state that in general people don’t think well of. </p>

<p>It’s too bad that some people want to hang on to their prejudices. I admire people who keep an open mind. </p>

<p>But, as someone who’s been involved with 3 corporate moves (to Maryland, to Chicago suburbs, to Huntsville), I can tell you that it’s nearly impossible to get people to move anywhere. Spouses don’t want to give up THEIR jobs, parents don’t want to disrupt their teen’s school years, divorced spouses can’t leave their areas and keep custody of their kids, or NCP parents don’t want to move away from their kids, Grandparents don’t want to move away, husbands of wives who are being transferred usually REFUSE to move, etc, etc, etc. </p>

<p>Actually, the transfer to the northern Chicago suburbs was cancelled because NO ONE would move…</p>

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<p>What about North Carolina State? This is what its website says:</p>

<p>"With more than 31,000 students and nearly 8,000 faculty and staff, North Carolina State University is a comprehensive university known for its leadership in education and research, and globally recognized for its science, technology, engineering and mathematics leadership…</p>

<p>Consistently ranked among the nation’s top 50 public universities and ranked by Princeton Review as a best value for students, NC State is a place where students can fit in — and dig in. Beginning their freshmen year, NC State students start work on their major right away — whether it’s conducting research alongside faculty or starting a challenging co-op or internship. While the student population is large, you won’t get lost in the crowd. Faculty and staff are accessible, friendly and helpful; large classes are always paired with smaller discussion sections or labs.</p>

<p>Many students and faculty from around the globe call Raleigh home. And it’s no wonder why. Raleigh, the state’s capital city, is consistently ranked as one of the nation’s best places to live and work. The Research Triangle region surrounds the NC State campus where many of the country’s leading, Fortune 500 technology, research and pharmaceutical companies are located."</p>

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<p>If it makes you feel better, Emily, we are from NJ and we visited two of your instate public school options. We looked at UNC-W and UNC-A. My son is not applying to them, but we loved the campuses. If our son were instate for these schools, I am fairly certain that he would have applied. Also, one of our son’s friends, a very solid high school student, will attend East Carolina this fall (by choice, he has other options, but likes the school, especially for his planned major).</p>

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<p>That’s fine, but fortunately NC has many other public campuses to choose from. I am not pushing East Carolina at all.</p>

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<p>It sounds (to me) that Emily wants the “big school” experience with all the rah rah and stuff that goes along with that. You often don’t get that at regional publics. She may also have a strong desire to go OOS, so if an economical way can be found (thru scholarships), she should explore that as a possibility.<br>
However, I don’t know Emily, so I could be totally wrong. :)</p>

<p>We’re always saying “cast a wide net” and see what happens. That’s all I’m saying. She should not be discouraged from casting a net that goes beyond NC.</p>

<p>North Carolina State - Raleigh would likely be a good option, too. :slight_smile: It would give more of that big campus experience over Ashville or Willington (which are certainly fine schools.) :)</p>

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<p>You might be right, but I thought Emily was interested more in a highly ranked school with name recognition from her initial post. I don’t see NYU, for example, being a rah rah stuff school.</p>

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<p>"It’s highly embarassing for me to say I’m considering East Carolina. "</p>

<p>Why do you have to tell others? And wouldn’t that be a safety for you anyway? Aren’t there more highly ranked NC public schools that you could gain admission to?</p>

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<p>Assuming that you asked the question looking for information, rather than having parents (other than mom2collegekids) tell you what you should be satisfied with, in addition to Alabama you may want to look into the following other potentially reasonable options</p>

<p>1) University of Mississippi Sally McDonnell Barksdale Honors College. Tuition is only $13K for the whole year plus $6200 housing (Jan 15 deadline, some scholarships).
2) University of Pittsburgh (Jan 15 priority deadline for scholarships). They are a relatively rich school and award a lot of merit scholarships.
3) University of Kentucky: It appears that you are competitive for a scholarship there too (Jan 15 deadline)
4) Truman State College in Missouri - I don’t know much about this school except that I’ve come across it before. It is a public liberal arts honors college. It has very high SAT scores for admitted students and only charges $11,583 for tuition, $6854 for room+board. You are right in the range, whereas you are way above the range for all of the other schools that you mentioned. </p>

<p>It costs nothing to shop and surf the web.</p>

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<p>Miss St would also give her a big scholarship, but I think the Alabama (if a scholarship could be had) is much less southern…</p>

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<p>Yes, you could go to OOS publics for less or equal money to what you’d pay for in state. In my opinion, however, those OOS publics are less highly regarded than is N.C. and many of its public universities. N.C. is known to have some of the best public universities in the country.</p>

<p>And where would you rather live after graduation: Alabama, Kentucky, Miss. or N.C.? Do remember that people who go to school in a state are likely to have the advantage when it comes to jobs in that state. This will be due to companies’ recruiting practices as well as one’s personal network and one’s college’s network.</p>

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<p>Northstarmom said

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<p>While the OP didn’t seem to take offense at this, don’t you think that is a little harsh and assumptive given that you don’t know this person in the least? How do you know there were not emotional/grief issues involved, or other disruptions? Many students are diagnosed late as dyslexic or ADHD and get treatment, and suddenly performance improves. A million possible scenarios. Not all kids are comfortable sharing these kinds of personal details or they think of them as excuses even when they really are reasons.</p>

<p>Anyway Emily, my opinion for what it is worth is that you should not be embarassed about where you go, and I think everyone that is saying that you can take a year at one of the Carolina satellite campuses to prove yourself are right. The other plus in that is that it will give your parents some time to get used to the idea that you are becoming your own person, apart from them. That is harder for some parents than others. But many are more receptive to the idea of going out of state once they get used to you being out of the house in the first place. Certainly you can gather all the facts regarding costs, programs, etc for some of these OOS schools and try to have a logical discussion with them, but it is getting very late in the process and often you have to pick your battles. Good luck!</p>