Convincing parents to let me go out of state.

Parents Forum
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<p>Ive been accepted to Dartmouth and University of South Carolina. (I live in SC). At South Carolina, I have a full ride +, but at Dartmouth I'd have to do work study, provide a student contribution of 3000, and theyd have to contribute 1000. </p>

<p>Granted, I understand the financial reasons for them wanting me to stay in SC. I really do. However, I'm fully willing to pay everything through loans and jobs throughout college, because I really want to go OOS and to Dartmouth in general. </p>

<p>The thing is....they see absolutely no reason why a person would go to an ivy league over any other college. They seem not to think that the opportunities provided by such a school surpass those provided by a state school. Am I crazy for thinking this?
I mean, in addition, I really like the atmosphere around Dartmouth, with the whole nature thing, and I'm not a fan of the city-ness of Columbia. </p>

<p>How do I convince them that Dartmouth is a better fit for me? They've literally told me that I'm GOING to USC whether I like it or not, and it's not even about finances! I'm just so frustrated that they don't care whether I'm happy at college, even when I'm willing to take on loans just to go.</p>

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<p>This is the extent of your family’s contribution, without loans?</p>

<p>You could cover this $4000 completely with a summer job, or take a loan if you like (the amount is quite minimal). If I’m understanding this correctly, you’re a big winner, and Dartmouth essentially for free is a no-brainer. It’s too amazing to pass up.</p>

<p>If your parents don’t even need to contribute a dime, what’s the possible objection? This is a winnable debate!</p>

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<p>Wow. I had a hard time letting S1 ship off to Dartmouth when he had a strong financial package at U Washington. I am so glad he went to Dartmouth. Here’s what you get at this marvelous college:</p>

<p>1) First rate freshman handling. 98% of freshmen participate in the Dartmouth Outing Club program that runs in late August through late September. You would pick a week or long weekend and an activity (such as canoeing or outdoor watercolors) and spend that time with a small group of fellow freshmen and a gungho, immensely talented and very well trained set of student leaders. By the time the trip is finished, you will have friends, know the history of school, and have memories that last a lifetime. </p>

<p>Also, during the fall, there will be steady outreach to your parents so they understand freshman life. </p>

<p>2) First rate classes by top of the field personnel – no TA’s teaching a class of 500. </p>

<p>3) World class campus speakers. When my son took History of Ireland, one of the speakers was a recent prime minister of Ireland. </p>

<p>4) Stunning alumni support. Dartmouth is the smallest of the Ivies – and alums have opportunity and the mindset to help the few who come behind them. </p>

<p>5) Incredible leadership. The President, Jim Kim, is utterly amazing. </p>

<p>6) A drop dead beautiful resume. Dartmouth builds in opportunities to go abroad, get an internship, and do cutting edge senior projects – all of this makes that “new graduate” resume sparkle. Son is now 22 and landed a very, very nice job. </p>

<p>7) A much cozier campus life. It’s not that big a college – </p>

<p>8) Bragging rights. Every year and review system is different, but Dartmouth frequently is ranked #1 in undergraduate education in the nation. </p>

<p>There usually is a Welcome Potential Freshmen weekend in late March or early April. Can you and a parent gallop up there for that? At least you would be making an informed decision (and, truthfully, they pull out all the stops so students and parents usually are very impressed – but at least your parents would understand what they are saying “no” too). </p>

<p>You’ve worked hard and been given a tremendous compliment – you’ve been invited to join a rarefied crowd. And they aren’t snobs (ok a few of those on any campus) – Dartmouth is different than Harvard or Brown – they rate “character” as well as GPA and SAT scores. You are invited to be a peer because they believe in your moral compass as well as your brains. No wonder Daniel Webster was proud of Dartmouth.</p>

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<p>I wouldn’t pay to go to Dartmouth, but that is my personal opinion of that school (limited academic offerings in some fields, small, isolated, conservative…). Your question isn’t OOS, it is expensive private school versus state flagship. You need to use arguments regarding any superior academics- opportunities not available at your state school (including any Honors program- which equalizes things moreso). Is Dartmouth really worth the extra loans? Is it worth having to work as a freshman? Is the academic program you are interested in unavailable instate, or superior?</p>

<p>Cross posted with Olymom. I know someone who went to Dartmouth. They lack so much our UW has as well as sounding too much like HS in the smallness- get to know your classmates stuff- lacking in large school diversity of many kinds. </p>

<p>Two different opinions. The student has to be able to convince his parents. Mine had no interest despite being gifted with great credentials.</p>

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<p>Is the real issue Dartmouth and the extra money, or not wanting you to be so far away from home? That can be very difficult for some parents.</p>

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<p>OP has another thread on the same choice:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1306595-how-much-ivy-worth.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1306595-how-much-ivy-worth.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Post #6 and #8 there describe the cost difference, and post #13 indicates an interest (but not certain) in investment banking.</p>

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<p>It’s essentially free. It’s the lottery package that everyone dreams of, but very few receive. It’s an opportunity that can’t be passed up. OP can do this completely on his own, without any need for parental financial support.</p>

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<p>I thought Dartmouth RD decisions weren’t out yet.</p>

<p>If the OP applied ED and was accepted, he/she is obligated to go to Dartmouth unless it’s financially impossible, and given the numbers the OP reported, it would be extremely hard to make the case that it’s financially impossible.</p>

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<p>Take out loans to cover the parents’ part. You can borrow up to 5500. call D and ask for them to add a student loan to your FA pkg to cover that remainder. But, do get a summer job as well…you’ll need the money to pay for stuff that your parents won’t pay for (dorm things and stuff).</p>

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<p>Marian: I know someone who got a “likely letter” to Dartmouth weeks ago. This family does not have any financial need so I can’t comment on whether that letter would have had aid info.</p>

<p>OP: What is your parents’ objection? That would be important for us to know. </p>

<p>I am in favor of you going to Dartmouth, and there are some excellent suggestions here for showing your parents the benefits.</p>

<p>If they are worried about the cost (which, as pointed out, seems very manageable for you to handle), you should very maturely explain your plans for how you will cover those costs. Don’t forget to include transportation costs and details for how you will go back and forth.</p>

<p>If they are worried about you being far from home, except for the cost of transportation, I don’t see a difference between being a three-hour drive or a three-hour plane ride away. But I went to a college that was a plane ride away – what about your parents? They probably had a different experience. You need to take into account their background and biases as you explain the value of going to Dartmouth.</p>

<p>What do you plan to study? Perhaps you can find data about what companies recruit from Dartmouth and which recruit from USC and also show starting salaries. I would guess there would be a difference. That would show a real-life immediate ROI for the money you will be laying out for Dartmouth.</p>

<p>Please handle this as maturely as possible so that you can take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.</p>

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<p>I think that Dartmouth has the highest mid-career salaries of any university in the US so it certainly provides for earnings power. I also think that distance is a factor - a plane trip can cost a lot more than a car trip and it means that the student will not have nearby resources and I can see parents being worried about that.</p>

<p>If the planned major is in a hot field, then I’d guess that good internship opportunities would be available after sophomore year.</p>

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<p>Yes, but if this student needs summer work to make ends meet, internships will only be a possibility if they’re paid. In some fields, most of the internships are unpaid.</p>

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<p>This student has high scores for what was reported. Is there any indication of APs?</p>

<p>Does the student have any relatives in MA, VT or NH? It sounds like a great opportunity but there are risks too and having local support could make things smoother - both with parents and with going to school there.</p>

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<p>*Granted, I understand the financial reasons for them wanting me to stay in SC. I really do. However, I’m fully willing to pay everything through loans and jobs throughout college, because I really want to go OOS and to Dartmouth in general. *</p>

<p>It sounds like the parents are looking at this solely from a financial perspective. So, the student needs to remove that from the equation. If the student works a summer job, takes the full 5500 student loan, then he won’t need his parents financial help for anything. </p>

<p>With a summer job (about $2,500), loan (5500) and work-study/job during the school year (about 2,000), this student will have about $10k to put towards all costs…more than enoough.</p>

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<p>I received a similarly proportioned near-full ride from my private LAC. </p>

<p>Never had to rely on any parental financial support during my undergrad years by working summers/part-time during the year and taking out a small loan. In fact, your/your parents’ combined expected contribution is slightly smaller than the difference between my near-full ride scholarship and total undergrad expenses…and I managed. </p>

<p>If I were you, I’d definitely go to Dartmouth and try to manage the financial stuff without your parents. Taking on the financial stuff yourself is doable and more importantly…from what I’ve heard from friends from South Carolina…there’s a gulf of difference between what you can get there compared with a top-tier LAC/private university…especially one of the Ivies. </p>

<p>Of course, this is all contingent that you maintain a strong undergrad academic record so you don’t jeopardize your package/educational/post-college opportunities.</p>

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<p>I see two ways to approach this. Either they are upset because NH is a LONG WAY from SC in which case no amount of reason will pursuade them OR they are truely worried about the finances. If they are truely worried about the finances all you have to do is show them the average starting salary and average mid career salary of somebody who graduates from Dartmouth vs. somebody who graduates from SC. I believe those numbers are far enough apart that if they are being reasonable they will drop their opposition. If they are being emotional they will either admit it or change tactics. Yes, I think it is worth it and do-able to spend $16k on Dartmouth over 4 years.</p>

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<p>Is there any risk that the big FA offer from D will get reduced in the future? Are your parents expecting to be earning more this year/next year? Could that be a concern?</p>

<p>If not, then just do what you need to do (Stafford loans/summer work) to do it without your parents. They’ll get over it once they see that you’re paying for it.</p>

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<p>I agree that this is an opportunity not to be passed up. I’ts hard to beat how happy kids at Dartmouth are and the opportunities they get there and in the future through their network.</p>

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<p>MisterK, yes, that package is without loans. But I simply have had a hard time convincing them it’s worth it.</p>

<p>Olymom, Thank you so much for the info!!! But, are you talking about dimensions, because Dartmouth is paying for me to go there, but I dont know how my parents would go…</p>

<p>skier29, Both the location, finances, and the attitude they feel toward people from ‘rich, ivy league schools.’</p>

<p>Marian, Sorry, I should’ve stated before that I got a likely letter around a month ago.</p>

<p>LinyMom, my tentative financial aid package came in earlier this week, and that’s what I’m basing this thread on.
Also, I plan to do math/finance and get a job in finance/Investment banking/ business. who knows? But my parents don’t see the benefit in attending Dartmouth for any of those careers. Plus they hate the location, weather, and the people.</p>

<p>And Marian, that is one thing I’m worried about. I’d want internships, but I dont know how I’d get them if I need summer contributions.</p>

<p>BCeagle91, Well, my school is very limited, so I only have three APs. (all that is offered). And I have no relatives out of SC.</p>

<p>mom2collegekids, thats exactly what I was thinking!</p>

<p>Cobrat, what do you mean by “Theres a gulf of difference from what you can get in SC compared with one of the ivies?”</p>

<p>MomfromKC, thank you!! and how would I find that information to show them??? That seems like a very good idea.</p>

<p>Mom2collegekids, I doubt it. Their jobs seem stagnant right now.</p>

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<p>I’d like to add that i would be in the honors college at USC and be a carolina scholar, which provides nice incentives. But, while my parents think being a carolina scholar is totally different than just graduating from USC, I’m pretty sure you basically get the same degree.</p>