<p>So let me just start by saying this: I know that my current situation is a result of my own failures. I know that I caused all my problems. I know myself is to blame.</p>
<p>Right now, I need to figure out how to "do" college. I am a freshman who did absolutely terribly in high school. My HS GPA was ~70 something. And if you're reading that asking where the hell my parents were: I was a terrible kid who lied about grades and faked report cards. Yes. I'm that guy. So I paid for all that by having no choice but to go to a college where most of the kids are immigrants with very low income families. Needless to say I stand out quite a bit.</p>
<p>Since my college is like this, it seems all the staff members assume us students can't follow directions, don't know English that well, and possibly are just dumb. However, I think I have much more potential. I just need to tap into that well and utilize it. Not to sound smug, but I feel like I can do so much better than everyone else, but I know that's not true since I'm in this college with them! And no, this isn't a community college. I need help with my dumb lazy self. I'm not lazy as in "I hate school", I'm lazy in that I just procrastinate and therefore don't get good grades. I do go to all my classes; I have 100% attendance in all my classes. I always put things off for later. I know this is bad, but I don't know what else to do.</p>
<p>My grades are alright except for math. Everything else so far is in the 80's to 90's. The weird thing about me is: I don't have a social life. I don't care about having one. I can function on my own. Usually people that don't do well in school have ridiculous social lives. And usually people that do well in school have no social lives. I'm somehow in the middle-ish?</p>
<p>I think I'm rambling now, but I to sum this all up: I need help with things like procrastinating/time-management and possibly studying.</p>
<p>And if you'd like to know what I plan on doing with my life: I want to transfer out of this college into a better one, obviously. I want to change my major (computer science) possibly into something health-related. Maybe dentistry, if I can turn my academic life around. I want to make my parents proud of me.</p>
<p>As the child of immigrants, both of whom are by no means wealthy, I take offense to the idea that you have greater trajectory in life because you aren’t a low income immigrant kid – I’d take being poor and first generation over having God awful work ethic any day of the week. But that is beside the point. </p>
<p>You need to act. But perhaps first you need to reflect - what habits in high school helped you? What habits hurt you? Which have you internalized and which have you decided to abandon? Your school has academic counseling and tutoring, I assume. Community colleges have such resources, as well as state universities and colleges, so I assume it is more or less universal - seek out individuals in those offices who can help you. Speak with an adviser or tutor and see where it is everything goes wrong. Attendance means very little if you aren’t putting in the work else where. College is a full-time job (or at least it should be treated as such) - so if all you are doing is taking up a seat for 1-4 hours a day, you are not putting in the necessary effort to reach your maximum potential. </p>
<p>It also seems to me that you need to forget about your parents at the moment. You went to rather incredible lengths in high school to avoid disappointing them (I thought forging report cards was something only in movies!) - and even now you’re considering changing your major with the corollary of “I want to make my parents proud of me.” You need to stop thinking about disappointment - it is acting as a burden more than a motivation. Do what is right for you. Many students are scared to reach out for help or admit they messed up because they are terrified of the backlash that they’re gonna get from their parents. You see this in extreme situations where an Ivy League student (who is quite obviously bright and full of potential) scared to take a semester off because of their health since their mother or father might be ashamed of them. A lot of people talk about independence and college - well, being independent means knowing yourself and knowing when and what decisions need to be made, regardless of what others have to say. </p>
<p>If your parents love you (and I’m certain they do) - then they are already proud of you. Take that in stride. Change your major to pre-dentistry or 7 year dentistry (depending on the school) if that’s what you want to do and you know it’ll interest you more than Computer Science. But if it’s just that your parents have always dreamed of a doctor they call son, you need to rethink your priorities. </p>
<p>Sorry, I did not mean to say I SHOULD be better off than those kids. I am a child of immigrants too. What I meant was I should be doing better than them because English is my first language and I probably had better education, which I never took advantage of. Also a lot of people seem surprised when I speak and don’t have some accent or poor grammar. They all look at me with “what are you doing here” faces. I apologize, I did not mean to come off as some pompous fool.</p>
<p>Anyways, thanks for reading, to the both of you. I’ll need to fix myself first, it seems.</p>