<p>IMKH, what would you do if he applied for outside scholarships and/or a job and didn’t get anything?</p>
<p>Okay…so… what is stopping you from sitting down with him TODAY? And telling him that he can ONLY send in the response card saying “yes” to that college if he has a paying part time job started by May 1, the day the postcard goes in? Tell him if he doesn’t get it done, he isn’t going to school there. You don’t have to yell at him… just tell him what his deadline is.</p>
<p>Also… put the onus on him to pay certain expenses. For my kids, they pay for books and spending money. If you expect something else, add that in. Help him calculate about what this expense will be, and let him know that HE has to do this. If he doesn’t, he won’t have any pizza money at school, and will be scrambling with crummy heavily used textbooks (or fighting with others for library copies). That is a natural consequence for him. One of my kids is on the autism scale… she can still deal with this type of rule and consequence.</p>
<p>Emily bee…IF he tried, I would be more forgiving. I still would not take out home equite loans or such, but I would be willing to make up more different. But “really tried” would have meant that when he could not get a job or scholarships, he did volunteer work and/or extracurriculars. He dropped everything this year. What he did last year, he “accidentally forgot” to go, etc. Only, it seemed on purpose. I found out that even when he was there, he would sit in the back and read a book and not do anything. </p>
<p>And I already sat down with him. And since my original post, my husband has become in agreement with me. Everything has been spelled out from day one. I really really want him to make it work. But, he finally applied 1 place last week. And hasn’t been called from an interview and “doesn’t feel like” applying anywhere else.</p>
<p>lnkh, I’d be pretty concerned about self-regulation once he’s away at school. The job may be the least of your concerns if he’s not cooperative about completing apps and other tasks now. How much intervention does he need to complete homework and projects? Does he go to teachers if he needs help? How long will you fund him if he struggles? Colleges will expect a certain level of self-advocacy, even if this is difficult for him because of the spectrum issues. </p>
<p>This is not about him making money to pay for books. This is about whether your S is ready to handle the responsibilities of academics and daily living, away from home and away from a support structure. (And unless you are paying for an aide, he <em>will</em> have to function independently in most areas of his life, most of the time.)</p>
<p>Am living this one right now with an ADD-inattentive young adult with significant exec function issues.</p>
<p>It is a choice each family makes. There is no single choice for everyone in terms taking out home equity to pay for college or require their kids to accept the most economic choice whatever it might be. </p>
<p>It helps cut the cost if one is attending a local college, stays home and has a part time job but it does not help a whole lot of it is an away college with a price tag of 30-60k while the kid makes 2-5k in a part time job.</p>
<p>On a side note, I just can’t believe poetgrl ignored this thread.</p>
<p>What is a ‘directional’ college? I have seen that term here on CC several times and now again a few times after reading through all the posts on this thread, and I still don’t know what it means.</p>
<p>Interesting discussion. I agree and disagree with many of the positions taken but can’t add a new perspective, so will just say that I have enjoyed the comments.</p>
<p>CT-
A directional school is a state school with a “direction” in it, like Central Connecticut State, or East Carolina or Southeastern Illinois College or Georgia Southern. Does that help?</p>
<p>Thanks jym626. I had been thinking that it was a school that directed its students toward a certain career path, like a technical college. Now I have to google to see if Central CT State is really a college! Thanks again.</p>
<p>Here ya go [Central</a> Connecticut State University (CCSU)](<a href=“http://www.ccsu.edu/]Central”>http://www.ccsu.edu/) Its in New Britain. I picked it on purpose b/c I saw you were from CT (or assumed from your SN)</p>
<p>CT, I thought the same thing you did. Learn something new every day.</p>
<p>I am from CT, but from the SW corner, so I may as well be in NYC for all that I know of CT, even after years of living here. I then remembered that my son has attended swim meets at a pool at Western CT State, apparently another directional state school here in CT. I think of U Conn as the state school as I do not hear people talk about other state schools the way I heard the SUNY schools mentioned while growing up in NY.</p>
<p>Is SN ‘screen name’ or is that just another bad guess on my part?</p>
<p>Yup. SN=screenname. There is a great thread here <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/52585-abbreviation-thread.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/52585-abbreviation-thread.html</a> that will give you tips on all the abbreviations!!</p>
<p>And as for the random names of directional schools (again, think Northern Illinois, etc), I confesss that not only is Google my friend (I am not personally familiar with the directional schools in CT-- if its not in Storrs, I have no idea about its being a state school, LOL.) But if you are in the college hunt, I STRONGLY recommend this map [Hedberg</a> Maps, Inc. - Custom College, City, Regional and Specialty Maps](<a href=“http://www.hedbergmaps.com/store/catalog/10013]Hedberg”>http://www.hedbergmaps.com/store/catalog/10013) . Not only does it help to easily locate schools, their proximity to other schools (when planning visits, etc) but on the back gives stats about the schools, general cost, contact #s/email, etc. Handy dandy reference</p>
<p>Thank you for that map link. Will order promptly. I have been trying to use Naviance’s mapping feature just to see proximity but it does not provide highways and driving routes. We have only visited schools based on convenience (stay with a friend and see schools within an hour so as to get a feel for large/small, urban/rural) but need to conduct the serious visits during April break, so thank you!</p>
<p>Countingdown makes some good points. My very bright D had severe organization issues toward the end of hs, and we felt that college would be a challenge. (We were right - the initial college/engineering did not work out). She was only and hour away. close enough to swing by for dinner if we needed. We didn’t do it much, but it was a comfort to know that we could.</p>
<p><a href=“I%20am%20not%20personally%20familiar%20with%20the%20directional%20schools%20in%20CT–%20if%20its%20not%20in%20Storrs,%20I%20have%20no%20idea%20about%20its%20being%20a%20state%20school,%20LOL.”>quote</a>
[/quote]
</p>
<p>They’re state schools, just slightly lower tier. Like NC State vs UNC. There’s Eastern, Western, Central, and Southern. Eastern is barely fifteen minutes from UConn’s main campus.</p>
<p>enjoy the map. I love mine!</p>
<p>"Emily bee…IF he tried, I would be more forgiving. I still would not take out home equite loans or such, but I would be willing to make up more different. But “really tried” would have meant that when he could not get a job or scholarships, he did volunteer work and/or extracurriculars. He dropped everything this year. What he did last year, he “accidentally forgot” to go, etc. Only, it seemed on purpose. I found out that even when he was there, he would sit in the back and read a book and not do anything.</p>
<p>And I already sat down with him. And since my original post, my husband has become in agreement with me. Everything has been spelled out from day one. I really really want him to make it work. But, he finally applied 1 place last week. And hasn’t been called from an interview and “doesn’t feel like” applying anywhere else."</p>
<p>I may be off base but, imo, I think you have put too much on his plate and he has decided that what you expect (making up the $ difference or he cannot go to that school) is impossible so why bother even trying. </p>
<p>Despite SteveMA thinking any kid should be able to do it, I think it is highly unlikely most kids can earn enough in merit/outside scholarships/part time job to make up thousands of $ for gap. I have an extremely hard working motivated kid and there is no way on earth he could do that. He worked almost every day for three weeks over Xmas break at the part time job he has had since high school. He is fortunate that they are willing to take him back when he comes home and give him gobs of hours and he still only earned about $600. While it’s a nice chunk of change - all it pays for are his books and spending money. </p>
<p>If you weren’t willing to pay for that school you shouldn’t have let him apply.</p>
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<p>Or in some cases, significantly lower tier. (As a native, I’d say that is the situation in CT.)</p>
<p>Regarding SteveMA’s scholarship situation: surely her community doesn’t have $5K scholarships for EVERY graduate. At our HS, there is a $5K scholarship for one kid, and that is a state-level thing associated with former Senator George Mitchell. The local Lions give $1K scholarships to 5 kids. (S got one of them: very nice, and we were very grateful, but not going to close a $19K gap if he had had one.) One kid got a NM scholarship, which is, if memory serves, about $2K, and a 1-time award. There were a few other small local scholarships, but they are reserved for kids with particular interests, such as vocational ed plans. One of his classmates got a $15K one-time scholarship: CocaCola, I think. She was accepted ED to an Ivy where she was a legacy, and had time to put together a good application rather than filling out other apps. And she had a lot of service ECs. (She also comes from a family that is financially very comfortable, ironically.) That leaves about 200 other kids who didn’t get anything other than what their schools would give them.</p>
<p>Consolation–where did I say for “every” kid? There are over 300 scholarships though, some kids get more than one, but out of a class of 500 kids, with at least 450 of them going on to a 4 year college-and not all of them applying for these scholarships, many, many kids get something. Most of the money for our kids, however, is coming from the college, not their high school. If they get those funds, it just reduces how much we have to pay. I’m sorry your school doesn’t have these opportunities…</p>
<p>Again, in our area, it is the norm for kids to get substantial merit aid through various outlets, mostly the colleges themselves and I know of NO ONE that would just pay the sticker price for ANY college…</p>
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