<p>Yes, they will…been there, done that…call around and ask…</p>
<p>If a private disability plan offered 100% income replacement, the premium would be prohibitively expensive. </p>
<p>Where’d disability come into the conversation, anyway? Don’t recall anyone saying they were on disability and planning to take out loans to pay for college.</p>
<p>From what I remember from the OP’s earlier posts, they didn’t imply to their son that he could attend anywhere he wanted or that money wasn’t a consideration. If I remember correctly, “final cost” was always going to be a consideration.</p>
<p>I think it’s the husband who now is changing the rules a bit and wanting to raise the amount that the parents had previously felt that they could afford. </p>
<p>If the OP and her H had originally set XXXX as their budget and the child knew that for him to select a more expensive school that aid needed to be included, then the OP isn’t “pulling the rug out” from anyone.</p>
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<p>A month or so after D1 started her fully funded grad school program and D2 started her freshman year at an in-state public (having just graduated from a pricey private school),
DH brought me my Amex bill and said “Would you just LOOK at this credit card bill?!” My bill was for $18. That is a mere fraction of what is was when the girls were at home with all their various activities, transportation costs, other expenses. </p>
<p>With D1 off the dole and D2’s expenses running us less than when she lived here, we feel like we’ve gotten a raise. :)</p>
<p>DH got private LTD insurance w/individual underwriting early in his career – 60% was max allowed.</p>
<p>My former boss sells disability insurance to individuals and small groups – it was VERY hard to get a policy, much less one at 100%. I don’t recall ever seeing a 100%. Even then, if someone filed a claim, the insurer would come back and tie it up for months looking for an out.</p>
<p>nrdsb4, I can definitely tell by the utility bills when the guys (esp. S2) are home!</p>
<p>My water bill went down $20 when D went away. That’s $120/year right there, just in showers and laundry!</p>
<p>Our electric bills tend to be lower when the kids are away & spike when they return for visits. Since we got photovoltaic with more capacity than we need, it hasn’t been an issue. Great having a CCard bill for only $18–wish we had one of those from time to time. Nice having S pay all his own bills, including his airfare!</p>
<p>Our food bills don’t go down much, since I cook more when they’re home & we eat out more when they’re away. They also pay for some of their own expenses while they’re home. ;)</p>
<p>The disability policies I have seen for myself and H have all only offered far below our wages and we have never paid a premium for them (other than what our state requires employers to carry). H just retired and was never disabled a day in his life, so I guess we came out ahead. I have also not been disabled (except when I was pregnant), so I guess it was OK that we never paid extra premiums for me either.</p>
<p>To give an idea, the EFC is actually more than we had thought originally. BUT, we did manage to save enough for both of the first two kids to pay the EFC.</p>
<p>We live with 2 cars in our family, the kids have the 2nd car. My husband works from home. We rarely take vacations. We took one last year because it was a big family reunion that my grandmother planned because she wanted us all together “one last time.” At her age, it is wonderful she made it this long to have this. We were not about to miss it. To clarify on the second car, it is still my husband’s, but the kids drive it to school and we just balance having just the one car between the two of us. The car is older, paid off, and in for repairs (18 yr old got in to an accident recently) so I have spent the morning driving kids to school, preschool, and back home for those who home school. I am about to leave to pick up the preschooler.</p>
<p>The only major expense we have that might be seen as a luxury right now is that our 3 yr old goes to preschool. We have been considering ending that for next year because it costs $3000 a year and that would be $3000 we could put toward college more.</p>
<p>We do have the money now for the EFC. But, we have younger kids to support. And if we start taking out loans to pay for the older kids, then we will need to do the same for the younger kids and we will be too broke to exist eventually. And our expenses are not getting less. I did not know autism was genetic, nor did I realize I would have 3 children with varying degrees of autism. The oldest only has PDD-NOS, but my 11 yr old has aspergers. I have a 3 yr old not diagnosed yet, but it is coming. </p>
<p>ANyway, I asked oldest to get a job last year and he did not feel like it. He could live at home and go to community college and/or state university and stay below our EFC. Going off to college and living on campus, at a private college, is a luxury. He won’t be without an education if he cannot make the extra money. He will simply not be at his top choice school.</p>
<p>And we always always maintained to the children that they will be expected to play a part.</p>
<p>I make a good salary (not top ten percent but close) and my husband makes much less, plus we only have one child and we’ve all been healthy. We live cheaply (have never bought a new car, have lived in the same house for 21 years without tapping the equity, rarely eat out, still have the original burnt-orange carpet in places). We’ve been able to keep paying our EFC for our son at a meets-need private school from savings, but the savings won’t last 4 years. We’ve told our son we won’t take out loans, but I think my husband and I have never believed that. </p>
<p>GeekSon takes the standard federal loans. He works during college, is lazy about finding summer jobs, and is just as cheap as his parents.</p>
<p>In keeping with our general cheapness, if we could not have afforded the EFC at his dream school, he probably would have gone to a state school nearby, and probably would have been very happy. We’d certainly have been happy to see him more often! :)</p>
<p>Re: disability insurance</p>
<p>Last time I looked for individual policies, the price seemed very high for the amount of coverage, probably due to adverse selection in the individual market (i.e. that anyone looking to buy an individual policy is probably at higher risk of disability than the general population). From what I can tell, the group policies provided by larger employers tend to be much lower cost, presumably by including all of the low risk employees along with the high risk employees.</p>
<p>We, as parents, don’t pay for college. I will help fill out paperwork, I will seek out scholarships and special loans for the kid. I will help job hunt, I will help with a bit of extra money, I will even pay for books sometimes, but we do NOT finance college.</p>
<p>My kids get jobs, get scholarships, take out loans, and go to schools that fit the budget.</p>
<p>D1 pretty much had it made, financially between scholarships and interest free loans, but she couldn’t handle college. Just not ready.</p>
<p>D2 is a sophomore. She paid for her first semester in scholarships, loans and a summer job. 2nd semester is almost paid for too. She’ll have to dip into her account for about $400.</p>
<p>D3 is a senior in high school. She’s filling out scholarship applications now, and we’re about to turn in an application for an interest free loan for her.</p>
<p>My kids know the score ahead of time. We have told them their whole lives. We don’t pay for college and we don’t pay for weddings.</p>
<p>cromette, for purposes of discussion, I’m going to assume you can afford to provide funds toward your kids’ college education, but choose not to. Perhaps you can explain your position tho those of us who don’t understand it. Personally, I think that in modern society, contributing money towards a child’s college education–if you and to the extent you can do so comfortably–is part of the overall obligation parents take on when they decide to reproduce. I suppose we could take more vacations or buy nicer cars, but I’d rather give my kids the best education available to them and not load them up with debt before they even have their first job. And I can’t think of where else I’d rather spend that money. As far as weddings are concerned, it’s a totally different matter, and doesn’t belong in the same discussion.</p>
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<p>Well, maybe so, but I can say that we had to buy an individual policy not because we were at higher risk for disability, but because DH is self employed and I work prn as a nurse, which means I have no benefits.</p>
<p>I agree w MommaJ. Why have you made the decision to not help out financially with your children’s college education?</p>
<p>As much as we want our kids to be independent, it wouldn’t be possible for them to pay their own way through college. We make too much money. It’s a nice problem to have, but it means that they don’t qualify for any need based aid, subsidized Staffords, or for the vast majority of private scholarships out there. The money they make in the summers will be barely enough to pay for books and incidentals throughout the school year.</p>
<p>On another note, I’ve been surprised to see the number of families where parents buy their kids a car instead of putting that money toward college tuition.</p>
<p>I understand Cromettes decision as it is probably an informed one that works in the family. We all make choices, I question why some would pay 40-50k per year COA for teaching degrees or equivilent that dont result in salary adjustments based on school attended. I also have heard cars in lieu of more expensive college choices. In the right context all can make sense for a given family. I suspect Crommettes children will be very successful in some ways, due to the responsibility placed upon them.</p>
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<p>That is likely a key factor in how successful their college planning will be. The bad situations occur when the parents and students fail to talk about cost until April of senior year.</p>
<p>I guess the conversation is parents contribution is 0 and you are on your own. Not sure how helpful that is to a student.</p>
<p>I agree with penzly re cromette’s choice. Parents can decide when to cut the apron strings. For some, it’s when their kids turn 18. For some, it’s never.</p>
<p>We recently had a similar experience on a lesser scale with our daughter. She has dreamed of getting a car on her 16th birthday her whole life. We told her we wouldn’t/couldn’t pay for one. We live on a bus route and in walking distance of many of the places she needs to go. Armed with this information, she set out on a MASSIVE earning/savings campaign and reached her financial goal two weeks before her birthday. We just picked up the car last weekend. She has never been more proud of herself, and even said “it means more to me to have this car because I did it on my own.”</p>
<p>Back to cromette, I have interviewed several recent college graduates over the years who put on their resumes, or mentioned in interviews, that they had self-financed their education. I am always impressed with that.</p>