I think I royally screwed up

I started college last semester at my state university. I pretty much picked it because it was the least expensive school I got into. My first semester was horrible. I was miserable most of the time, and couldn’t get energy to get much of anything done. I ended up as a part time student, and because I was so depressed I ended up failing one. I was put on academic probation.

I decided to take spring semester off for two reasons. One, that I needed surgery over winter break and knew I would miss a decent amount of class returning home for follow-up appointments. Two, I knew it probably wouldn’t go much better than my first semester. I’ve been working and saving up since recovering.

I just am not at all happy at the school. I applied to a couple schools that have a major I’m actually interested in (which my current university doesn’t offer), but I think with my current academic record I won’t be able to get in anywhere. My other option is going to a community college close to home, but a lot of my family looks down on that and I feel like they would just make me feel worse than I already do. I could, as a last resort, return to my university, but I think I would just fall into the hole I fell in the first time, and I don’t want to make my GPA worse than it already is.

My parents expect me to return to school this fall, and I’m so confused about what my next step should be.

It sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. The one glimmer of light, it would seem, is a transfer attempt that you fear will end in rejection based on the bad first semester. I don’t know for sure, but maybe one of those schools will give you a second chance and just not accept the first semester grades for credit? So it would be a completely fresh start for you. You will not know if that is an option unless you apply.

I know it seems difficult to wipe the slate clean and start again at your current school but is it really impossible? Is there an academic advisor who can counsel you on the available choices?

From what I understand from this website, once you have a college level academic record, you have a college level academic record. Seems you have already decided that going back to your first college is likely going to result in failure–with that mindset why would you spend the money to go back there? You believe you will not succeed.

Since you have to do some record repair–in order words take college level classes and prove that you can handle them and do well in them, picking yourself up and getting yourself to community college and doing just that for a while is probably your best option. While you are there you are going to have to do will and build up a good GPA. You will have to be tough and not let what you perceive your family’s perceptions are about community college sway you. This is hard to do, but if YOU really want a college education this type of pushing through may be what is required. Once you repair your record with a stronger looking transcript, then perhaps you will be in a good position to transfer to a college where you believe you can do well.

You mindset matters. You have to believe you can succeed and you have to have the drive/guts/grit to make your success happen.

  1. Address the depression. Was this situational because of the school? or would this happen at any school? See a mental health professional. Did you talk to anyone in the Counseling Center at school?
  2. Was there other reasons you failed? Did you not go to class? Not do homework? Not read the book? Not see the professor with questions? Not get a tutor? Not go to the writing center? Understand all the reasons you didn’t do well and all the help you could have gotten and the tools college provides that you didn’t use.
  3. Did you talk to your adviser about how to handle not coming back to school? Did you just “not sign up for classes” or did follow the schools procedure for taking an leave of absence?
  4. At this point what you have to do is show colleges that you are able to do the work. You have to do that either at your old school (if possible) or at a Community College. The community college will let you focus on the general education type requirements and do well…and have a GPA that another college will be interested in. Or maybe talk to your previous adviser at your old school about a path forward.
  5. At this point don’t worry about what your family thinks about CC…you are where you are and you have to take steps to achieve your goal.
  6. It was very smart to take a semester off to recover rather than miss classes for appointments. Did the condition you needed surgery have any symptoms during the fall semester? That is, were you feeling physically bad during school? Would it be possible to get a retroactive medical withdrawal for that or the depression (if you get diagnosed)? Talk to the Dean of Students about this…if you can, you can reset your GPA and be able to start again fresh.

@bopper

  1. I really do believe that the depression stemmed from the school. It wasn’t my first choice at all (not even top three), and I didn’t feel comfortable at the school at all. I had a few sessions with a counselor, who helped me work on some things, but I don’t think that it made enough of an impact to turn around the mindset I was in.
  2. I think this failure is tied to my depression. I wasn’t motivated enough to try my best on assignments, I turned in things late, didn’t do the readings. I wanted to succeed, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I know it’s my fault.
  3. I talked to my advisor, who told me that I didn’t need to do anything special for not coming back to school. I withdrew from the classes I signed up for and ended my housing contract.
  4. Do you think I should just withdraw my applications to the schools I’ve already applied for? I know I won’t get in unless a miracle happens.
  5. The symptoms were mild enough that I wouldn’t be able to get a medical withdrawal. Would it be too late to get it for depression? I haven’t seen a therapist since I left school.

You say mild, but also that it caused you to go on academic probation. Talk to a therapist if you can…and talk to the Dean of Students at your old school to find out what is possible.

Yes, seek a late medical withdrawal or drop due to documented impairment from depression. Get instructions on how to do this from your uni. Therapist will have to give you documentation for the school. Move on this now to clean up your record.