<p>That's a condition where you're tired of things that haven't even happened yet. Like flying cars.</p>
<p>My kid is a junior and i've been at CC for maybe 6 months and i think i've hit a wall. The whole thing is starting to feel so ridiculous, you know? The colleges are so hard to get into. Then they are so hard to pay for. Then when kids get there, some of them start to find ways to transfer out. It's nuts really.</p>
<p>We just finished our 12th college visit over the past 8 months....and I swear that there is only 1 college and we are in some sort of warp where we're being tricked into thinking that its different colleges. They all have a cappella groups. They all take a holistic approach to admissions. They all have dining halls beyond compare. They all have honors dorms. They all will let any student start a club ("want to start a bbq club? Just find a teacher and one other student.") They all have X number study abroad. They all have tour guides who can walk backwards while pointing out libraries. They all have brochures with 3 students and one professor sitting under a leafy tree on campus. </p>
<p>araarugh.</p>
<p>Honestly, we toured our quite fine state university the other day...that will cost less than $15,000 a year with scholarships and I"m about ready to say, "looks good to me." And my kid agrees. The whole thing feels like a crap-shoot anyway....</p>
<p>You know, honestly, if you and the kid both think the quite fine state university is great, nothing wrong with going down that part. I’m kind of a college-phile, so the whole process of thinking about this was fun and interesting for me, but that’s not for everybody.</p>
<p>I’m more like Pizza in that I thoroughly enjoyed the college application process, enjoyed the road trips with the boys and enjoyed when they found a place they felt good about and then got accepted. But if you strip away the bonding and the ‘fit factor’ you are absolutely right and at the top of things they are all alike…different sizes…different architecture…different locales, but they are all in the business of education young adults. And even more to the point what happens at the end of the “great adventure” is really more about the kid than the college. If you and your student end up thinking “you know our fine state university” is perfect…you are in the starting block and the applications, the tours and everything are just a fond memory…and that is perfectly OK. I find that much more refreshing than families that are doing the analysis paralysis or praying for the tuition fairy. </p>
<p>It’s not a crap shoot and it IS pretty serious stuff…half the kids that start college don’t finish so celebrate a decision and enjoy the rest of senior year and help your student get “ready for school.” </p>
<p>“We just finished our 12th college visit over the past 8 months…and I swear that there is only 1 college and we are in some sort of warp where we’re being tricked into thinking that its different colleges”</p>
<p>My kid felt the same way after a week of touring schools. It was like pulling teeth to get him to see anymore after that. It took a lot of convincing on my part to get him to look at one more school the fall of his senior year. He loved it and it ended up being his first choice (though I didn’t know that until after he was accepted.) Three years later and he couldn’t be happier with his choice. </p>
<p>LOL. I have two kids who are now in grad school, and I have never once been on a college tour. I saw my son’s college for the first time the day he was delivered to campus at a college freshman – I didn’t get to see my daughter’s college until coming out to visit her sometime during the school year when it was snowing. </p>
<p>How about you ditch the college tours, now that you have found at least one that your kid would be happy to attend – but consider applying to a few that you haven’t visited if he would like to expand his options next fall. Maybe some reach schools, or some that have good programs and the potential for generous merit aid. Your kid can always choose to visit in spring of senior year after the acceptance or award offer has arrived.</p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with choosing your state flagship. Many of them are “quite fine.” Like Pizzagirl, I kind of enjoy the searching but you are completely right that a lot of colleges become indistinguishable from each other after a while. I don’t think there’s only one “perfect fit” for any student (plus, how would you know??).</p>
<p>I assume you have a HS junior, like I do (I also have a sophomore in college). SO many juniors are just not focused on college yet, which forces the parents to drive the process in a lot of cases. All of this will become a lot more real to our kids in the coming months. And as calmom’s experience suggests, it isn’t absolutely necessary to visit before they head off.</p>
<p>Perhaps pre-screening the colleges by estimated net price and suitability of academic offerings, as well as other factors that may not be apparent on a visit but can be found out (e.g. percentage of students in fraternities and sororities) can reduce the number of visits.</p>
<p>Loved the OP’s post, although I am a college admissions junkie. Seriously, you have discovered two things: there are a lot of great schools that would be perfectly fine for your kid, and one of them might be your state flagship. </p>
<p>This is a good thing. The first was true for us, the second not, but that’s okay. (And you know what? S probably would have found his way at U Maine too. But it would have actually cost us more than Dartmouth .)</p>
<p>I couldn’t get my kid to look at the kinds of colleges discussed her. She didn’t want to visit, didn’t want to take more standardized tests (SAT subject), didn’t,t want to write any kore essays. She’s going to a just fine school and is thrilled. Wasn’t hard to get into. Won’t be terribly expensive. Nothing wrong with making that choice.</p>
<p>I work for a TRIO program. I love the college search process. As my students are low income, I’m especially interested in fin aid and expenses. So, I love cc, but I will admit it creates a really skewed view of the process. Most colleges are not hard to get into, and there really are some very affordable options out there. Sometimes, you just need to walk away from the site and head back to reality.</p>
<p>^^Funny you mention working for TRIO. For years I volunteered for an organization focused on getting under privileged and ESL kids ready for school, Last year as I went through the app process with my last son, I switched organizations and now I work for a community organization that help kids find colleges.</p>
<p>OP, you forgot “and if we don’t offer your major, you can CREATE your own major.” About the third time I heard that I knew the schools were all about the same.</p>
<p>D#1 knew what she wanted to study, and that she didn’t want to stay in Florida and wanted to go west. She found a school that was ‘just fine’ and has fallen more in love with it since then. Her department is better than she imagined (although I’m sure other schools have great facilities too), they have a club team for her sport, no fancy dorms or latte machines on every floor, but enough to do. She’s good.</p>
<p>D#2 thought most of the schools were just fine too, then toured one and knew that one was for her. She would have done just fine other places, but at her chosen school everything just came together. Are there other schools out there like this one? Sure, but no reason to keep looking when we found a match.</p>
<p>Op,
I’ve figured out your problem…you are spending time on college confidential Honestly the majority of kids pick the state U and do just fine. Here on cc, everything gets microdissected, which can be educational and fun or stress-inducing. Also, you forgot “the unique blue safety light.”</p>
<p>I always said, too many and they turn to mush in the kid’s brain. Guess it happens to parents, too. We remembered the salient differences but also what we ate en route to or back from different places.</p>
<p>For your list, you forgot adcom speak- that thing about everyone having a shot.</p>
<p>I should add that after about 6 or 7, S refused to look at any more schools. had to be forcibly dragged to the info session for the school he ended up choosing. </p>
<p>I’ll add that DD looked at maybe 30-35 schools either with her HS, me, DH, friends etc. Picked the one that she liked best after 2 visits. Now DD doesn’t really like it so much after attending, so who knows what true predictive value a school visit has. </p>
<p>YoHoYoHo, you’re right in my case. D1 is a junior and we are doing our research before beginning to visit the schools. Most of it has been through CC and we have dissected the planning and process like a complicated brain surgery. 28 years ago, I remembered picking my OOS college because my girlfriend was going there. The first time I saw the school was when I moved in and I had a great experience! The OP sentiments are helping us re-evaluate our plans so we can minimize the hassle. </p>
Seriously, you have discovered two things: there are a lot of great schools that would be perfectly fine for your kid, and one of them might be your state flagship. </p>