<p>The principal has the right to assign seating for the lunchroom, and will be able to present plausible reasons why it is necessary. The principal cannot do is create a situation where their student is coming home in tears on a daily basis. </p>
<p>The fastest way to resolve this is to get/allow the principal to change his mind about the seating arrangement. Both parents should request a meeting to discuss how this is affecting their daughter emotionally. Give the principal a way to back out of this! Nothing makes petty bureaucrat dig in their heels than to be publicly challenged. Document the request for the meeting, “understand” why seats may be assigned, and explain the distress this is causing the daughter. Ask if the principal can re-assign her seat, - or give a reason why that would be impossible. Document everything.</p>
<p>My well behaved kids were ofter used as buffers in seating arrangements in classrooms. However when my son spoke to his teacher and said he this was not fair to him, the teacher did change the seating. </p>
<p>While I do believe the principal is a bully, the quickest solution to your goal of having your sister re-assigned is to act graciously, and ask for the principals help in resolving this distressing situation. Give the principal room for her to make a decision without being forced or backed into a corner. Really.</p>
<p>If the reasonable approach doesn’t work, then Mama Bear comes out and you can look to use other scorched earth tactics.</p>
<p>Ugh …not a lawsuit I hope . And no " fudging " on the facts either. Twisting the truth also sends a powerful message to children , one we don’t as parents want to encourage.</p>
<p>^^^^
Wholeheartedly agree with that. No need to exaggerate the impact on the child (fudging early development, etc). It should be enough that the principal’s actions are innappropriate and not in the best interest of the child. By not acting in the best interest of the child, she is not doing her job and that should be reason enough for her back up on this. If she doesn’t…onward and upward in the chain of command.</p>
<p>The trick to dealing with a principal is to figure out what you want, and then get them to think of it themselves.</p>
<p>Keep to the issue - its not seating cannot/should not be assigned. It’s not whether the principal is fair/unfair.</p>
<p>It’s simply our daughter is really distressed with her assigned seat at lunchtime , and is coming home in tears. What do you think we should do?</p>
<p>Right on, python20. That’s where I would start. I would also include my own solution to the problem in that communique. </p>
<p>"…my daughter states that does not feel comfortable being seated at the same lunch table with students of the opposite sex while her female peers are seated at their own table. I feel it would be reasonable to request that she be allowed to sit with her female peers. I appreciate the school’s efforts to maintain a positive learning environment for the students and I look forward to hearing from you.". Or something along these lines.</p>
<p>I have had to contact the teacher and principal on different occasions regarding different issues. I make an effort to review the school and district policies as well as the state Ed code. I know it sounds drastic but I have found that a teacher or administrator is often more “professional” in their response when they know you’ve done your homework.</p>
<p>Sometimes, a lawsuit is necessary, such as when Oliver L. Brown and others disagreed with the local board of education’s policies regarding school assignment.</p>
<p>Oh good LORD. Can we please not exaggerate and compare principals who are getting a little full of themselves with the extensive corruption and power abusive endemic to mainland China? It’s rather like suggesting that putting this girl at the boys’ table is akin to putting her in a concentration camp.</p>
<p>Actually, as with the principal of the OP’s sister, Mainland officials have a nasty tendency to harass, deny services, place into isolated situations, arrest, and otherwise punish folks for the mere “crime” of presenting petitions. </p>
<p>Only difference is that this type of behavior is not supposed to happen and should not be considered acceptable here in the US where presenting petitions to advocate for policies or voicing disagreements is one of the best examples of civic virtue in action. Something to be encouraged, not effectively punished.</p>
<p>Oh, get a grip. The girl wasn’t thrown into an isolation chamber, she hasn’t been barred from attending her normal classes, the police weren’t called to her house to take her away, her parents haven’t been thrown in jail. If and when those things happen, then we’ll compare the situation to mainland China, ok?</p>
<p>The little girl did ask the principal if she could sit next to at least on other girl and was told no. Also, the father scheduled a meeting to discuss his daughter’s distress, and the principal told him she was trying to prevent another Sandy Hook, and also accused the girl of using the R word.<br>
My point is that the principal had been approached by both the girl and the parents privately before the brother came to this board, and they got nowhere. I certainly understand why they would want to take it to the next level.<br>
I’m hoping that the issue had been resolved, and that the OP hasn’t returned due to privacy concerns. Best of luck to you, OP, if you’re reading this.</p>
<p>Pretty absurd. For someone without a lot of common sense, I can imagine their thinking goes something like this: By challenging a policy like the lunch table seating and getting her peers all riled up, this student is creating anger and dissent among the other students, which could result in someone getting hurt. </p>
<p>I think the second paragraph (sentence) is the correct reason. I see no reason that having kids sitting with people they are comfortable with possible make a 10-11 year think about shooting up a school.</p>
<p>I don’t think OP was very clear about how the principal tied Sandy Hook with assigned seats, if at all. I think people are making a lot of assumptions.</p>
<p>^^^I admit that I am totally speculating. I can’t imagine why a principal would have mentioned Sandy Hook as any kind of explanation when the dad visited. But it was tied in to the issue- I was just trying to imagine how it could even be related in any conceivable way.
I also assume it was an excuse. But it’s also possible that the events of the previous week did make the principal more skittish about what she saw as disruptive behavior.
All speculation.</p>
<p>I’d actually be more understanding of the principal’s reaction if that were the case.</p>