<p>I want to make my essay memorable for the admissions officers. I don't have a sappy story though. Last night I put this together quickly. What do you think? Should I talk more about raising the money and working with congressman and business leaders</p>
<p>Should I mention these events?:
-was diagnosed with Dysthymia, a long-term form of depression, usually hereditary.
-Grandfather passed away last year, a man who I looked up to dearly who I think about all the time.</p>
<p>Thanks in advanced. I appreciate all criticism, and please be frank.</p>
<p>I have been called many things in my life. These range from praises to phrases that I can not dare to repeat, but never before had I ever been called 'intense' until the day I walked in to the office of the dean attempting to an aspect of my service project approved. Who this man was is irrelevant other than then fact that he was a vital member of my Jesuit high school, Belen Jesuit Preparatory. Taken by my rushed aurora, he remarked, "Oh, YOU are the Habitat for Humanity. I've heard about you. You are intense." I had to hold my boiling wit back before my tongue spat something back that I would regret. I felt thoroughly insulted, yet did not even comprehend what it meant to be regarded as 'intense.'
Because of the charity that I started at my school, I believe I have been able to know and achieve what it means to be a 'man for others.' Through this experience, I was able to learn what seven years of religion class and ten years as an altar server was never able to teach me. I got to know Jesus. I walked with him. I worked beside him; occasionally, we shared conversations. I owe this all to my journey with the Belen Jesuit Habitat for Humanity Campus Chapter.
In the inaugural year of my journey with the organization, I was able to explore fields of interest that were foreign to me and most boys my age. I was able to break away from what I regarded as my passions: water polo, doing research at food labs, shadowing surgeons, observing scoliosis surgeries, competing at National Model United Competitions, and spending time with my friends in our own perfect bubble of a world. The high school group, spear-headed by 'Mr. Intense,' took it upon ourselves to start the Building Hope Fund in order to raise $50,000 for a home sponsorship on behalf of our school. It would be the first time any school (secondary or collegiate) would take on a task this grand in South Florida.
So we reached out to the vast alumni network at our school. It was through communication with these fellow wolverines that I was able to hone my communication and occasionally bartering skills. I was afforded the opportunity to speak to various influential members of our community such as U.S. Representatives Ileana Ros-Leihtinan and Joe Garcia, the President of the Latin Builders Association, and Mayor of Miami-Dade, Mr. Carlos A. Gimenez, in an attempt to arrange build days with our students
Currently, I am in the works of organizing a large gala, completely organized by students. Names of the potential list of attendees include the World Champion Miami Heat Basketball Team, the up and coming 5th Harmony singing group, Congressmen Joe Garcia, Ileana Ros-Leitinan, Bill Nelson, and various influential alumni in the South Florida business world. As the club expands, we hope to be able to reach our goal by the end of this year, so that the following year our school will be able to say, "That house there was built by our student, from the ground-up."
A year later, I hold my title proudly, and I continue to do nothing other than the 'intense.' It is through these many experiences in my life that have shaped who I am as a human, as a man, and as a man of God. My only hope is to be put in circumstances where I will be able to achieve what the Lord ask me to do. And I believe that is to serve, intensely.</p>