Hello. So, I want to transfer schools due to many reasons. The school I’m in right now is expensive, far from home, and the social environment is not right for me. The school I want to transfer to is closer to home, cheaper, and the social environment is better. Even though I want to transfer, I don’t know how to tell my parents this because I am scared of how they will react since they are strict and they expected a lot from me. Does anyone have any advice on how to lay down the news?
any advice would help!
Speaking from personal experience, three decades removed, just do it. It doesn’t matter how you do it.
You’re not really asking how to do it. What you want to know is how to tell them without telling them. Sorry, there is no way. The only way to tell them is to just come out and say it.
One bit of advice to keep you from stumbling and have your parents dismiss your complaints and quickly get you to reconsider – Write down everything you could possibly say to convince them. Facts mostly. Very little emotions. Revise that. Then revise it again. Practice saying it.
Then go tell them.
“Mom, Dad, I got traded.”
Explain your reasons to your parents.
“The social environment is not right for me” = If that means too much partying, then your parents may listen.
“Expensive” = are you and/or your parents taking out loans to pay for your current expensive school ? If so, then that a reason that should be considered & reconsidered by both you & your parents.
“Too far from home” = would need to know more as that is a part of growing up & maturing.
One thing as a parent that I would wonder about is if transferring would mean an extra semester at school, or will you still graduate at the same time. Make sure to have done research on that. Specifics will help. “I have already looked and school B will accept the following classes… I put in the classes into their transfer credit tool on their website and know exactly which courses count for what.”
Also be clear with your reasons for wanting to transfer.
With your reasons, be clear what you mean about the social environment. When you say “the social environment is better” parents might hear “I can party more at the other school” and well, not exactly a compelling reason to transfer! Is there nothing at all to do at your current school that fits for you? Are you bored and alone in your dorm room? Is your current school a party school and it’s too much for you? Just try to be clear with how one is better than the other as far as the social part.
How do they compare academically/ranking/prestige? Are you switching from a high rank school to lower? Unless both are perceived to be the same, be prepared to discuss this side.
You say they expect a lot from you. Seems to me realizing a transfer is better than staying in a place that’s not a right fit for you shows maturity and self reflection. I would not be disappointed in my child if he came to me and said he wanted to transfer and gave solid reasons as to why he would want to. Also, with the transfer being to a less costly school and closer to home, I’d think convincing them of the transfer would be easier.
List your reasons and logically explain them.
Also ask them what they want and why. What reasons/assumptions are they operating under?