<p>This whole thread has been more engrossing than an episode of Homeland. In the future, anyone spelling “idyllic” in such a non-standard way is automatically suspect. ;-)</p>
<p>(Or was that supposed to have been “ideal”?)</p>
<p>Lucie, I noticed that too. “Idealic” does appear on Urban Dictionary but that only supports the notion that it is one of those made-up words popular with the millennial generation. (Which further supports the idea that the OP might not actually be a parent…)</p>
<p>Interesting, sally! I routinely consult with Urban Dictionary, but it never even occurred to me that a parent would use a term like “idealic,” not on purpose anyway! Doesn’t appear it’s a very popular word even on UD, however, with only 6 thumbs up and 6 thumbs down. Nothing like the entry for “chillaxing” or, frankly, the one for “College Confidential”! ;-)</p>
<p>Can’t use correct homophone of ‘preying’ either. Maybe spell-challenged?</p>
<p>I’m so disgruntled, I’m ready to just give up and quite posting completely. ~X( </p>
<p>I note, just in passing, that there were also a couple of entirely new posters who attacked some of us on another thread based on what we said in this thread. May be a coincidence. Just sayin’.</p>
<p>I didn’t suspect the OP of being a ■■■■■. I did think, as I think intparent did as well, that this was somebody hoping for a chorus of agreement because he was trying to convince somebody else (most likely a spouse) that going to ASU was a “no brainer.” I have seen it plenty of times before that when somebody comes here (or any forum) expecting everybody to agree with them, they often get angry when a few people don’t. If you actually read what I said in this thread, it’s not really that inflammatory, or even judgmental. I admit that I said the OP should buy his kid a car if he makes him go to ASU, and I stand behind that 100%. But there may be no kid.</p>
<p>Still, if anybody reads all this, I reiterate that the takeaway should be to discuss finances in detail before applications, and even before the list is made. Address what the family will do if there is significant merit aid.</p>
<p>Hunt- agree with you. Helps to map out a plan before the applications get sent in.</p>
<p>I would add that in terms of constructing a list of schools this family did everything right according to most measures. They have a lottery/reach school that they could afford in Wesleyan, 2 highly selective matches that award merit money in Grinnell and Whitman, a likely that awards merit $$$ in Lawrence and an academic and FA safety. Whatever the true story is on motivations for posting and possible projecting of admissions status on earlier posts, deciding between these options is a good problem to have. Many are in a different boat all together.</p>
<p>
This is true.</p>
<p>It is counterproductive when people start threads advertising a merit-based free ride they got at a school which does NOT give free rides. Readers might imagine they could apply there and possibly get the same. If they start reading up on it and aren’t very savvy, they may initially miss the difference between free tuition and free ride, as it seems so many, and not just kids, have a tendency to do. The ASU NMF scholarship is for tuition/fees only. The residual cost for just rm/bd is $13,000 freshman year.</p>
<p>If one wants advice, they can’t get it when the data they present is inaccurate, in fact strongly twisted to yield the advice they hope to receive- $55K vs $0, or $55K vs. $40K vs. $13K. Big difference in the analysis. The conclusion might be the same, or not. </p>
<p>In any case, if I am being drawn into a hypothetical scenario, I’d like to know that it is hypothetical. And it’s a further plus if it is also a possible scenario.</p>
<p>
It depends on whether you think a difference of 220K is significantly different from a difference of 168K. Reasonable minds could differ on that, I suppose.</p>
<p>Also, I think it’s probably better to approach all questions posed here as essentially hypothetical.</p>
<p>Posts here appear on facebook? Presumably only if one signs on facebook or chooses to share them there…I certainly don’t.</p>
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<p>Perhaps not, but over time people here definitely have learned to smell a rat. As I said above, a good deal of the value of the conversation is in its honesty. Longer-term posters are aware that what they say may be of use to someone who hasn’t asked the question yet. Misleading such people with half-truths and distortions is not regarded as positive behavior by many of us.</p>
<p>Apparently you think being a liar here is just fine, and it should be expected. Standards differ.</p>
<p>BTW, as a person for whom it meant a great deal whether the merit available actually covered the entire COA or left $13K to be found somewhere–a family with an EFC of $0–yes, being misled that my kid could get a real full ride at school X <em>does</em> make a difference. </p>
<p>We can expect the parents (at least) to post their honest circumstances if they expect us to spend time helping them. </p>
<p>The issue for me, of calling free tuition a free ride, and then refusing to come back and clarify the situation, is that it furthers the spread of misinformation. We want people involved in the college search to be better informed about finances as well as other aspects of the process. This sort of building imaginary scenarios or twisting the facts of some real scenario, whatever the case may be, is NOT HELPFUL in pursuing that goal.</p>
<p>I’m actually more concerned about the parent who reads this who isn’t debating whether to open the checkbook and spend the $55K/yr he has set aside expressly for that purpose. Rather, this parent is trying to figure out how to come up with $3-5K/yr and looking for options other than CC for his kid. It’s the $13K as opposed to $0 part that is most worrisome to me. For the moment never mind the $55K poster and his 1% problems.</p>
<p>My D had friends whose families were not very savvy about these things. They thought they had free rides, found out too late that the scholarships were only partial and that the packages were full of loans. Ended up at community college because they could not afford it. You may not have sympathy for them as they were not careful readers and it’s their own fault. But I know I was pretty confused coming into this process and can imagine myself making a similar error had I not come across this forum and all the excellent knowledgeable people here who give freely of their time to help others through it. Thank you to any of them reading this now BTW.</p>
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<p>I don’t know–why aren’t you?</p>
<p>FWIW, I said above that it is perfectly reasonable, and even wise, for people to be somewhat cautious about what they reveal here. To me, there is a difference between that and outright lying. I really don’t know if the OP is actually lying, or just leaving out details in order to extract the opinion s/he desires.</p>
<p>In this particular case I said that <em>with the facts as presented</em> the kid should probably follow the money. I also said that I would stretch for Wes, but not for Lawrence. If Bard+ merit is on the table, which apparently it may be, that would change my advice, especially if the choice were Bard+ merit vs ASU+tuition only.</p>
<p>As presented to us by the OP, there was enough money saved up to pay for Wes. I think there are plenty of people who would choose to invest that money in Wes, even if a free ride was offered by a school like ASU. I even know of somebody who is turning down one of the free ride scholarships at Duke to attend an Ivy (something that even I don’t think I could do, even if I had a lot more money than I do). There are other people who would clearly take the offer at ASU. All I’m saying is: figure out which kind of person you are in advance. For my family (for example), my son’s safe school was Pitt, and we knew going in that he wouldn’t be going to Pitt if he got into one of his reach choices, even if Pitt offered a full ride. That doesn’t mean I didn’t gulp a bit when Pitt offered merit aid (and might have offered even more if we’d pursued it)–I did, but the decision had already been made.</p>
<p>Of course I can’t know absolutely 100% that the son doesn’t have a free ride at ASU. There are a very small handful of of students who might receive that kind of departmental money. Musical prodigies or other outstanding candidates. It is very improbable and I use my reasoning skills. Poster grumbles that his kid’s grades are bad and he’s not holding out much hope for merit aid from Grinnell. Does not sound like one of the small handful who might get that huge departmental award. Furthermore, poster does not return to clarify the situation at ASU, though I was not attacking him/her at that point and in fact was spending valuable time trying to dig up helpful info for him for additional choices, if you read back through the posts. I infer that either he is embarrassed to realize that he misread full tuition as free ride so doesn’t wish to discuss it (no need, it’s good to get these things out to air, for others who may go through it in the future as well as those living the situations currently, and anyone can make mistakes of this kind) or he was misrepresenting originally and is embarrassed to be ‘outed.’</p>
<p>I was not the person who posted all that stuff. You are mixing things up. I was trying to be helpful. I did not ask for clarification about the free ride because I’m nosy and want to dig in personal details of people’s lives. It is to be clear about what is going on for the benefit of everyone else who reads this stuff, as well as for the benefit of the poster who might have been mistaken about the financial package from ASU. It would be very easy for him/her to say- oops, I just checked and it’s free tuition; sorry I goofed. Or then, yes it is a true free ride. We received other scholarships that fill the gap. No need to specify department or info that would identify the family. Just yes or no.</p>
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It was this post, and a similar one before it, that made me think even more that OP was just looking for yes-men to support the idea that ASU was a no-brainer. You’re almost never going to get that here, no matter what position you take. I also take offense at the idea that anybody was preying on OP (which is what I assume he meant). I note that he never really denied pulling a “bait and switch” on his son–he just got mad that anybody would suggest this. If he really didn’t pull a bait and switch, he could have told us that they had discussed the possibility of big merit aid, but that actually getting it was awfully tempting. Or he could have said that they never dreamed they would get so much merit aid, and their thinking was changing. These would be reasonable. But, in my opinion, OP never really tried to dispel the impression that he’d been telling his kid all along that he could go to Wes if he got in. I guess he indicated that this was still the case, but he was certainly looking for people to join his argument that it was a no-brainer to take ASU’s offer.</p>
<p>Finding out whether the actual facts are different doesn’t really matter to me.</p>
<p>celesteroberts, apparently we are all one undifferentiated mass to lstttt. :)</p>
<p>(edit: missed a t)</p>
<p>Of course we don’t know. So we do two things: (a) give opinions based on the facts we know and (b) ask for more facts that might shed more light on the decision. I note that you’re not criticizing all the people who told OP to take the money from ASU, even though they didn’t know all the facts either.</p>