If a college student/employee treats me condescendingly, how do I tell if...

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>...they treated me condescendingly because of the demographic group I belong to or because of something I did wrong?</p>

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<p>Or maybe they’re just a jerk?</p>

<p>In this day and age, I hope you’re not being treated badly because of your race or ethnicity or orientation or whatever the demographic is. Colleges are supposed to be open minded places.</p>

<p>You could just be direct and say “Did I do something to offend you?”</p>

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<p>you ignore them and retreat into the internet,
where everyone is nice</p>

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<p>“…they treated me condescendingly…”</p>

<p>First the complaint that other students “treat me condescendingly”. Now the complaint that school employees “treat me condescendingly”. Can’t forget about yet another complaint thread about a teacher who “treated me condescendingly”. Does anyone on CC see a pattern here?</p>

<p>CC members–go back and read other threads by the OP. See the pattern and then ignore.</p>

5

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<p>I can see the pattern: people treat me condescendingly.</p>

<p>Does it mean that it’s all in my mind or could it be that I am doing/not doing something that is annoying everyone equally?</p>

6

<p>Probably a bit of both. Seek on-campus counseling…the thing that comes out in your posts is that you have very low self-esteem, and are going around with a chip on your shoulder. That, along with other issues you may have, tells me that you need to stop starting these threads which tend to all go in the same direction, and focus on getting a grip and acting like an adult. When you are expecting people to treat you condescendingly, the chances are great that you’ll see it, even if the other person intended nothing of the sort. Other people don’t make you feel bad. You are allowing yourself to feel bad. Do something about it. Good luck.</p>

7

<p>
[QUOTE=astrophysicsmom]

Probably a bit of both. Seek on-campus counseling…the thing that comes out in your posts is that you have very low self-esteem, and are going around with a chip on your shoulder.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I grant you that I have a chip on my shoulder. A big, heavy chip on my shoulder, if I may say. But where do you get the idea that I have low self-esteem? I don’t exactly feel inferior to other people, you know. I also don’t feel superior to them. I see myself as an equal and it’s usually other people who treat me as an inferior. If I had low self-esteem, wouldn’t I just accept their assessment of my worth as a human being and move on undisturbed? If you could briefly tell me what you understand by “low self-esteem” I would appreciate it.</p>

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<p>I know. I can tell that a lot people on this forum are starting to get impatient with my threads.</p>

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<p>That’s true, but sometimes I get treated condescendingly and am left thinking what I did wrong, because I never saw it coming.</p>

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<p>That’s also true, but I am not a robot. If someone mistreats me, naturally I am going to feel hurt.</p>

8

<p>Hmm I believe this issue was brought up in a couple other threads where generous posters gave a lot of invaluable advice. I suggest your re-read some of these threads. The fact is, people give you good advice over and over and you refuse to listen and make a hundred excuses. There is nothing we can say to you that hasn’t already been said. </p>

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<p>Wow. Did you spend like 10 minutes compiling that list and making those links?</p>

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<p>You have serious problems that the internet can’t help you with.</p>

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<p>No lol…if you click on someone’s username, you can see their public profile which has a list of all the threads they created on one page. I didn’t even include most of them, but you can go back and look for yourself. Seriously, this is like the twentieth thread with the same underlying issue. You’ve gotten so much advice and you refuse to take it. I can’t really tell you anything that hasn’t already been said, but good luck. :)</p>

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<p>People probably will dislike you if you walk around with a chip on your shoulder and act stuck up. Try acting nicer, friendlier and more open and people probably will respond to you much more nicely. If someone IS rude to you out of the blue, do what someone already suggested and say “Did I offend you?”</p>

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<p>I think this would help him: <a href=“http://www.jokefile.co.uk/office_jokes/0329.gif[/url]”>http://www.jokefile.co.uk/office_jokes/0329.gif&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>This guy is a joke. Either he has paranoid tendencies and thinks everyone is treating him condescendingly, or literally everyone he knows is some kind of giant jerk.</p>

<p>I’m going with the former.</p>

<p>GTH pmvd</p>

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</p>

<p>Or maybe I am unwittingly ****ing people off.</p>

<p>Did you think of that alternative?</p>

16

<p>Then stop talking to people. It doesn’t sound like you want to anyways. Problem solved.</p>

<p>If you behave in anyway similar than you do on the internet, I understand these people’s reactions.</p>

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<p>Hey OP,</p>

<p>Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of what his gut tells him to, and his life becomes so much better. Just do that, and get on with life.</p>

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<p>lol. I should do that.</p>

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<p>Just get over it. Some people aren’t going to like you, some people are close-minded, racist, messed up in the head, etc. Just go on with your life.</p>

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<p>pmvd I think you know you are offending and/or ticking people off. i remember a thread not that long back where some students were making fun of you after one of them tried to talk to you. And in that thread you stated that you should not be punished by talking with people that you don’t feel like talking to. Also in that thread I seem to remember that you did not really what to change your behavior because this is how you are.</p>

<p>Well this is the back lash of that behavior and train of thought. You would be surprised in a small sitting how quick things get around about people. All it takes is one person to tell one person and before you know it it is all around campus. That is what I see happening here given your past threads.</p>

<p>So really you have two choices here:</p>

<p>1) Ignore these people and go about getting your education; or</p>

<p>I think this is the better option
2) start to change your behavior and that might involve a therapist of some sort that you trust. Because this behavior will not help you in the future when it comes to working, finding a SO, having a family, friends, etc.</p>

<p>If you continue on this path I see you as having a very long lonely life all by yourself and possibly without no meaningful job options.</p>

<p>Honestly think about that before you answer. You cannot go on with life with this behavior mindset. Even the most introspect person knows how to play the game when they need to. Because we all have to work and be around others at some point in life.</p>