Group of classmates give me dirty looks and talk about me. Should I talk to my dean?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I'm in this science class, very few students, about 20 of them, and there is a group of 4 or 5 guys who sit behind me who give me dirty looks from the moment I enter the classroom until the moment I sit at my desk. Those guys don't like me.</p>

<p>By the way, I know perfectly well that many of you will naturally question what I am about to tell you and will try to convince me that maybe it's all in my head (that's just the way it is with all these Dr. Phil-educated "psychologists") but since I have plenty of evidence to support my claims I will share with you a few anecdotes concerning the way I have been treated by those guys.</p>

<p>Last semester. I met one of the guys at the library. He introduced himself. Very friendly. However, I failed to respond appropriately (I was quite uninterested in knowing him, really, since I didn't go to the library to socialize), and from that moment on I got the impression that the guy didn't like me.</p>

<p>First day of class this semester when the guy and his friends saw me enter the classroom they made a gesture, a sigh of displeasure, which from my point of view seemed to indicate that they didn't like the fact that I had enrolled in the class. I forced myself to think that perhaps I misread them and didn't think much about the incident.</p>

<p>A few weeks later I asked a question to the professor, and the guy I mentioned above very loudly and sarcastically asked another guy in the group "what did he say?" to which the other guy replied "I have no idea." We can't blame that guy for not understanding what I said, it must have been my fault for not enunciating correctly, but the way in which he asked what I had said sounded contemptuous. Had I not known that guy perhaps I would have tried not to read too much into his remark (yes, remark) but that was the same guy with whom I had a less than pleasant encounter at the library.</p>

<p>The other day we had to work in groups and since I was closer to those guys than I was to other people in the class, and since I am supposed to keep an open mind and pretend that people who obviously don't like me maybe actually like me, I turned my desk around and joined their group. Very soon one of the guys in the group brushed me off and I ended up joining another group.</p>

<p>I could give you a few more examples but unfortunately I don't have enough evidence to substantiate them, so I must stick to my common sense and keep some of my thoughts to myself.</p>

<p>This is your chance to tell me that:</p>

<p>a) Everything went smoothly the day I met the guy at the library, there were no hard feelings.
b) The guys did not express displeasure after they saw me enter the classroom.
c) The guy I met at the library meant no disrespect when he asked his friend what I had said.
d) The guys were indifferent to my turning my desk around and joining their group.</p>

<p>Luckily for me, most people I have met in college are not like those guys. Still, should I talk to my dean about the way I am treated by those guys? I feel very uncomfortable going to that class :(</p>

2

<p>This isn’t high school. You shouldn’t go to your dean because a couple of classmates are snickering at you.
If you’re positive they’re talking about you, confront them. They’re no better than you and **** and fart like the rest of us. Confronting them would probably serve well for boosting your self-confidence as well.</p>

3

<p>are you in college or high school? tell the dean because someone gives you dirty looks? talk to a shrink, man.</p>

4

<p>“Oh no they did not…”</p>

<p>LMAO</p>

5

<p>WHY do you think this is an issue worthy of bringing to the dean’s attention?</p>

<p>“Hi sir”
“Hello there, son. What seems to be the problem”
“I think people don’t like me.”</p>

<p>??? Seriously.</p>

6

<p>sleep tonight and tomorrow read the OP. it’s ridiculous to go to a dean with a ‘problem’ like this. your an adult first of all. if someone doesn’t like you, too bad. secondly, you may need to take a step back and look at the stuff you posted as evidence. you may just be reading too much into this stuff.</p>

7

<p>LMAO.</p>

<p>I’m studying for a test. I needed the laugh. Thanks for this thread OP!</p>

8

<p>Yes, the guys seem pretty immature, but it seems you were the rude one first.</p>

<p>Some guy says hi in the library to you, and you just ignore him or brush him off, after he made a friendly gesture. Ignoring someone is one of the rudest and most insulting things you can do, even worse than giving negative attention. Try it in a group some time. Ignore one person. It’ll **** someone off faster than anything.</p>

<p>Now, you may lack social skills and/ or social graces, as appears obvious here. If someone says hi and you don’t want to talk, just say “hey how’s it going” and look back down at your books. If they continue talking, just nod and smile and whatever they said, and say “I’d like to talk but I really have some work to get done right now.” Or resume being that guy who lets the elevator door close when someone is running toward it (in an obvious fashion).</p>

<p>That’s what people who lack social skills/ antisocial don’t understand. You think: I don’t want to talk to him or be polite, so why should I. I can do what I want.</p>

<p>This is true. But then you must not whine about the consequences of said actions.</p>

<p>Do you think social/ polite people become socially accomodating because they actually care about people any more/ less than anyone else? NO, IT IS BECAUSE IT IS ADVANTAGOUS AND MAKES LIFE EASIER FOR YOU, THE INDIVIDUAL. Learn some social skills, jesus. And no, you can’t go to the dean because someone is being rude to you. And it displays a great deal of immaturity that you even think about bringing a dean into this laughable problem rather than handling it youself.</p>

9

<p>

</p>

<p>Yup. I’m banking on the OP being incredibly, incredibly awkward socially.</p>

10

<p>this is a ■■■■■ thread, right?</p>

<p>if it’s not… if someone says “hi” to you, you should RETURN THE GREETING. Perhaps they do not like you b/c you treated one of them poorly. Ergo, it is your fault.</p>

11

<p>This is the most ridiculous thread I have ever seen. Pmvd, this may come as a shock to you, but people usually don’t spend every waking minute of their life secretly disliking you. </p>

<p>Why whould you talk to your dean? You didn’t like someone’s tone? The same guy who you blew off earlier that year? </p>

<p>“Dean, there is a guy in my class who has a tone that I don’t like. I was rude to him earlier this year, and now without any actual evidence I think he dislikes me. Not that he has actually ever said anything that would lead me to this conclusion, but I have a feeling it is true. Will you talk to him?”</p>

<p>You need to stop being so paranoid. How about this. From now on, don’t assume someone doesn’t like you until they say something mean to you. By this I mean, the words they say are literally nasty and mean. Stop trying to interpret tones.</p>

12

<p>Arrgh. You started out wrong with the guy who tried to be your friend, now you have to undo that. You will now have to approach this guy, when he is away from his group and just say, hey look, I didn’t mean to put you off the other day, I was just distracted by my class project(for which you had gone to the library) and new here(if you are), hope you took no offense.
If he truely wanted to be your friend, he will probably accept your apology and engage you in conversation. If not, then you will know that he is just a jerk.
by all means, don’t go to the dean.</p>

13

<p>pmvd, I felt sympathy for you before, but this is like your 5th “no body likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat some worms” post. It’s getting a little old. I’m starting to think you are just an attention seeker.</p>

14

<p>Dude, I’m not saying this to be mean, but you seriously need professional help. As others have noted, your postings that no one likes or respects you are getting old. </p>

<p>BTW, out of sheer curiosity, what exactly would you expect the Dean to do about this?</p>

15

<p>pmvd,
As a parent my heart goes out to you; you obviously need a lot of professional help so that you can learn how to get along in life because it is obvious that social skills that are natural to others are not natural to you, and without them, your life will be difficult, miserable and unhappy. I am not assigning fault or blame, I am just stating inthe obvious.</p>

<p>Just take a look at your initial post.</p>

<p>What if the student you blew off in the library started a post on CC that said " I was at the library and I said hello to my classmate PMVD. He was really rude and unfriendly and totally blew me off. And now he wants to be part of a group doing a group project with me. Should I tell the professor on him? Should I go to my dean about this?'</p>

<p>The answer is obviously not, as I am sure you can see from this example. This isn’t first grade and tattle-tail behavior is unattractive at any age.</p>

<p>But pmvd, so many of your posts are in this vein that as a parent I do worry about you. If your suspicions are true, and people are consistently having negative reactions to you (and it’s not just a misconception of their reactions on your part), there is something you need to fix. And it you are reading other people’s reactions incorrectly, and they are not really being negative toward you, there is something you need to fix.</p>

<p>Please get the professional help you need to help you build a happier life. You deserve to have a happier life.</p>

16

<p>

</p>

<p>soccerguy315, I don’t have a problem returning a greeting, but if someone tries to engage me in a conversation and I don’t feel like opening my mouth too many times, it’s not my fault I don’t like to punish myself.</p>

17

<p>they’re obviously going to jump you in a dark alley and steal your wallet and consequently your pride.</p>

<p>I suggest you switch schools.</p>

18

<p>So politely say “I’d normally love to talk, but I really need to get this done” like someone already suggested.
If you feel like you are “punishing yourself” by talking to them, it will probably show in your tone and body language, and you will be the rude one, not them.
Seek counseling?</p>

19

<p>Seeking counseling would be good but it also sounds like you really need a fresh start; seriously considering transferring as it seems like you’ve already made the impression of the antisocial loner kid at your school and either your classmates or you just can’t let go of it. It really will be easier for you in a new setting to change; it certainly worked for me when I went to a really big college out-of-state.</p>

20

<p>InnovativeBoxx,</p>

<p>Get over it.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>CC</p>