Slackermom - I like your post. I agree that leadership is not always being elected to things, it can be done in quieter ways. My concern is that the teachers/GC’s writing the LOR’s may not mention the quiet leadership. In most HS cultures “leadership” is only seen in one way and other forms of leadership are overlooked/unacknowledged.
The kids who build relationships, motivate others and learn how to collaborate are the true leaders. The obsession with ‘leadership’ roles comes from an archaic view about what leadership is. Many of those ‘leaders’ end up in government where they create misery for everyone else, while the engineers, healers, scientists and artists keep civilization alive and add joy and meaning to other peoples lives.
Beyond the question of college acceptances and rejections, our society’s view of leadership in this day and age would judge Abraham Lincoln very harshly indeed. A quiet, introspective man whose physical appearance was…unusual. A man, moreover, who was given to long periods of brooding and turned the other cheek when others, including one of his worst generals, treated him like a lackey. Can you see this man winning any sort of elective office?
Assuming identical policy stances, there’s every indication that Donald Trump (for one) would beat Lincoln in a landslide.
I was always near the top of my class. I was also often the class clown: I led the class in not taking things too seriously. Sometimes that annoyed my teachers (“talks in class”).
When my kids applied for college, they didn’t have a record of formal “leadership” roles. They hadn’t belonged to any “clubs.” My son was opinion editor of the high school newspaper. I suppose that was “leadership.” But for the most part, they led by achieving things, not by “leading” groups or organizations in a formal sense. They did little community work. But statewide awards in journalism, debate, math. Prizes in art competitions. These went into the “leadership” boxes on the applications, and were quite sufficient.
I have a bias here, being introverted, but I often think that leadership and extroversion are falsely conflated. And I do think that the college admission process, like many things, slightly favors the extrovert.
My children seem to have inherited my introversion, and it seems to be a small additional challenge in college admissions.
Many leaders are introverted. Leadership can be a lonely experience. People who need to be liked are often not very effective leaders in institutional contexts.