<p>It seems like most of the people worried about going to an all-women's college are heterosexuals concerned with dating options. This seems like a valid concern. However, I do not want a boyfriend in college. I'm not straight. Is there any other reason to be concerned about the all-women's factor that I'm missing? Is it really that different than a coed school? I feel like it's not really going to be a huge deal for me, but I want to be sure. I know some girls who I can sorta identify with who didn't like going to an all girls middle school (and dating wasn't the reason).</p>
<p>Well, the only thing I ever hear people complain about with respect to the all-women thing is the lack of nice, available boys. In fact, when they take classes at co-ed schools, like Amherst, they're generally disappointed.</p>
<p>So, from the current students, it would seem that there's not much of another reason to worry.</p>
<p>I don't think it matters much, either way, which side of the plate you hit from. There is occasionally some drama engendered by the "all-estrogen, 24/7" channel, but you get drama in co-ed environments too. So, no...go to Smith without any worries beyond the normal ones of new environment, new challenges, new opportunities.</p>
<p>D has enjoyed having guy friends in her year away...I have sometimes wondered if this explains part of the the popularity of "year abroad" programs.</p>
<p>MLD, honored to see your famed phosphors here. I've heard similar things about being disappointed by the guys at Amherst being a disappointment in general.</p>
<p>I once opined that the problem that it's an awkward and sometimes jerky age for guys. One woman said that it's because guys lag behind women socially. A second said, yeah, but they catch up at about age 40. The first rejoined that, yeah, but at that point they revert into their second childhood. I was still bleeding half an hour later.</p>
<p>Just be careful of dating within your house. This generally leads to awkwardness and disaster. I have also heard from my non-straight friends that it can be difficult finding a relationship at Smith. There are many girls interested in just hooking up, but not as many interested in something long term, if that's what you want. This has little to do with Smith being a women's college, but is just some general advice.</p>
<p>Wow, that's a really good question. I don't know, but I'll give my answer a shot and try to ask my Wellesley friend (not straight) when she gets back from spring break. She applied to Wellesley ED and the only other school she even looked at was Smith, so she might not have a good answer. The atmosphere at Wellesley is definitely different from coed colleges even though I've never really been a student at one. People want to go to Wellesley either because it's a women's college (and have looked at MHC or Smith) and they want to be "empowered" by the "amazing environment," or they really like the academics, the programs, and the pretty campus and are willing to sacrifice a "normal" college experience for what has been advertised to them to be (and usually is!) a better education. There is another subset of the population who didn't get in anywhere better and are stuck going to a women's college (but I will ignore them).
So you have all the voluntary attendees at Women's Colleges there because they have put their academic experience above any other considerations. That doesn't mean to say that students there do not 1. want to have fun, 2. want dates/boys/girls 3. want to party 4. have social skills 5. have lives beyond school. However, every student at a prestitigous women's college could be described as "Hermione Granger" at least in her high school career. On the upshot, almost all of them would get the reference.
"Normal" colllege activities happen at Women's schools but because the schools are run by women, many things that qualify as "fun" and "tradition" here suprised some of my MIT friends. We have cutesy teas and hooprolling and Flower Sunday (Smith has traditions along that vien too). It's a girly atmosphere, but in terms of "kitties and flowers and crafts and chick flicks" but not "Cosmo and makeup." At least with my friends.</p>
<p>I know some girls at Smith are MHC, a variety of straight and not, who are all equally frustrated by the absence of guys. Some say they feel as if the all women's thing is instilling a false sense of security into them. Others argue they just like having friends who are not female for a change. What I can tell you, however, is that the women at either of the two colleges are generally very pleased with their decisions to have attended. Many people contemplate transferring due to the lack of male, but few follow through. You learn to love where you are. I went to Amherst once to visit a friend (with a group of my friends from Mt. Holyoke and Smith) and the girls at Amherst were very unwelcoming. The guys were very chiil, which was something I liked. In the classroom, they were really awkward. But come on, it's the Pioneer Valley- we're all awkward!</p>
<p>Yeah, Amherst girls tend to have a lot of negative feelings towards girls from Smith and Mt. Holyoke. I've never seen anyone be open to them about it, just talking harshly amongst ourselves.</p>
<p>The "'kitties and flowers and crafts and chick flicks' but not 'Cosmo and makeup'" comment seems to fit me. I'm not at all like the stereotypical teen girl who's into makeup, boys, parties, etc., but I do like to...dunno, chill out, I guess? Just have a talk, play a game, watch a movie, etc...</p>
<p>I just remember visiting an all girls dorm floor at Swarthmore, and the "theme" was fashion. It turned me off, because it didn't really fit my image of Swarthmore as this un-materialistic, hardworking, intellectual haven. This also sorta surprised me because at Smith, my tour guide bragged about how people don't care so much about what each other wears at her school. The theme to her [quad] dorm was James Bond and people were running around in sweat pants and stuff. Hehe...I don't know if that's a typical Smith thing, or whether that's just my faulty impression.</p>
<p>"I just remember visiting an all girls dorm floor at Swarthmore, and the "theme" was fashion. It turned me off, because it didn't really fit my image of Swarthmore as this un-materialistic, hardworking, intellectual haven."</p>
<p>My d. did a Thursday overnight at my alma mater (Williams). She reported that all they talked about was fashion and their weight (having too much of it), and started drinking before dinner (and took flasks to a 9 p.m. a capella concert.) She ended up helping a male student with his music homework.</p>
<p>I went to Smith and wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I didn't miss having men around at all--I was involved in good activities, liked my classes and jobs, and made awesome friends--can't ask for more than that! If you wanted to make male friends from other colleges or through summer internships, it was definitely doable (how easy it was depended on how outgoing/shy you were and how hard you were willing to work at it).</p>
<p>On the other hand, now that I've graduated and attend a majority-male grad school, I've made some male friends and really like them. I don't regret going to a women's college though--I gained some amazing things from the experience and I have the rest of my life to make male friends. Plus, my sister and parents went to co-ed schools and they marvel at how clean and quiet Smith is in comparison--far fewer fire alarm pranks and puking in the halls! I think that guys do a lot of growing up from age 18-22 and I'm thrilled that I get to reap the benefits of that maturation process with my male friends, without having had to spend 4 years watching guys go through it!</p>
<p>My friend said she looked at Wellesley and Smith because she liked the schools (her mom is 4th gen Wellesley and her aunt is a Smithie), and the "no guys" part wasn't an issue so it was awkward when it got brought up for admissions interviews.</p>
<p>Stereotyping a bit here, but given what you've described, it sounds like Smith is a perfect fit for you. There are going to be clothes obsessed, materialistic girls at every school, but women's colleges are havens for people who just "chill out." So long as you don't mind having no "guy friends" you'll be fine.</p>
<p>One of the advantages of going to an all-women's school is that it's easier to make the kind of friendships with other women that will last a lifetime when there aren't all the distractions of the opposite sex to keep you pre-occupied or to keep your fellow students pre-occupied. If you ask most middle-aged women how many of their college boyfriends they still keep in touch with, I imagine the answer will be, not many if any. But women friends from college are a completely different story. It's hard right now to appreciate the value of relationships that will carry you through the rest of your life, but you will when you reach fifty. Straight or not, that is what I would recommend to anyone heading off to college now: make good friends and keep in touch with them.</p>
<p>I'm concerned about Smith being an overbearingly feminist environment. Are my fears justified? I have no problem with feminism to a degree, but when people go around heralding the superiority of their gender, I'm not pleased. Any opinions/experiences here would be very much appreciated.</p>
<p>Narquelion:
I had exactly the same concerns when my daughter was applying to Smith, especially since she was a quiet, not very political, albeit self-reliant person. While there is plenty of PC rhetoric to go around at Smith, and yes, it is to some extent a bastion of academic feminism, there are also plenty of students who are just ardent about whatever field(s) they have gotten into, and can't be bothered with the more strident forms of feminism. Which is not to say those Smithies aren't opinionated. There's just a wide range of topics to be opinionated about beyond feminism. I think what has surprised me most about Smith is how many people my daughter has found who are polite, responsible, genuinely friendly, thoughtful, hard-working, and not-overbearing, and some are even quieter than she is. She used to be someone who would stay on the sidelines, a good team member but not a natural leader. I have seen her blossom at Smith -- no longer just a follower but someone now who takes the initiative on many fronts. </p>
<p>You know, it really annoys me when people talk about feminism like it's the worst social movement to happen in the past twenty years, and it will probably annoy your Smith classmates as well. Being a feminist does not mean you put down men it means you celebrate women and fight for their equality and that's what we do at Smith. We have very active groups like Feminists of Smith Unite and a major event each year is the Vagina Monologues production. Gloria Steinem, super-feminist and very awesome woman, is going to be the commencement speaker, and I'm thrilled about it. Feminism brought us Title IX and a narrowing of the wage gap (still at 80 cents to every man's dollar) so I don't see why Smith should have to apologize for being a "bastion of academic feminism". Now that they've reawakened the Equal Rights Amendment in Washington, feminists are going to be needed, and I am proud to count myself and my fellow Smithies among their ranks.</p>
<p>There are are a lot of things that concern people about Smith that seem political -- i.e. it's too liberal, feminist, PC, etc. As someone who is more libertarian than liberal, I was a bit concerned too, but, honestly, it seems like most top colleges these days are "liberal." Anyway, I'd rather lean towards the "overly PC side" than the overly socially conservative side where gays could run into some serious trouble. </p>
<p>On that note, if I am more libertarian than liberal, do you think I'm going to be shunned for my views?</p>
<p>Arianne - of course you won't be! I know a few people here at Smith who self-identify as libertarian and they are some of the most active and best leaders on campus. As long as you respect the liberals (or conservatives), they'll respect you in return.</p>
<p>SmithieandProud, part of the "anti-feminism" statement you hear made these days are a reaction to the "classic feminism" of the 1970s that was represented as a "women don't need men" sort of philosophy.</p>
<p>For the longest time, I couldn't understand the strange looks I got when I identified myself as "feminist"; people seemed to think it meant that I hated men, refused to shave my legs and armpits, was politically radical, and lived a Bohemian (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. Novels such as Housekeeping and Kinflicks defined the movement for many people. </p>
<p>I think the negative connotation of feminism came from those who feared it. Later, it morphed into a general disdain that kids picked up from their parents.</p>