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Which was their point all along. Mission accomplished.</p>
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<p>I don’t think it’s so much being resentful to those who receive it. I think it’s more being resentful to those who brag about it, and make it seem like they’re getting a “better deal”, vs. those who pay full fare, who are getting “ripped off”.</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re child is attending ______ and it’s costing you $53,000 per year? Too bad, my child is going there as well, and it’s only going to cost us $12,350 per year.”</p>
<p>Personally, I don’t care if it’s need-based or merit-based. My feelings are that, in general conversation, paying for big-ticket items (as well as how much money one earns) is just…rude, for lack of a better word.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t dream of answering the hypothetical quote above with “Oh, you’re only earning $48,000 per year? Too bad, I’m earning five times that much, and I only work three days a week.”</p>
<p>I dunno…I guess it just seems like bad manners.</p>
<p>^^^Well, there have been posts on this thread of parents resenting those that get need based aid. And there have been posts that those who qualify for need based aid may not have worked as hard as those who can afford the ticket price. One can work hard but make a lesser income. Some fields pay less. Some areas of the country pay less. And so on and so forth.</p>
<p>^^ No question, soozie. Which brings me back to my initial point.</p>
<p>The only way to resent somebody who receives it, is to *know in the first place *that they received it. And I just feel that it is bad manners to talk about this type of thing, because people end up resenting it!</p>
<p>From the time we were pregnant, we saved all our pennies, put money away with every paycheck, lived frugally, and invested wisely (and luckily). By the time the kids were 18, their college funds allowed them to go to any school with no outside help at all.</p>
<p>It would have been fun all those years to waste those pennies, blow every paycheck, live regally, and invest foolishly at the casino. When I hear people windbagging my ears about how they did just that all those years, but now they have no money saved up for college (yet they’re receiving scholarships and aid), yeah, I feel a little resentful. That’s too much information, and I’d just as soon not have you (not you personally, but acquaintances) bellowing about a free ride.</p>
<p>Do I feel lucky? Sure. A bit of a chump? Yeah.</p>
<p>I’m a lucky chump…and I think I smell a new name for me on this forum. ;)</p>
<p>^I agree with heyalb. We will join the lucky chump club.</p>
<p>I also do not like to hear that someone “deserves” the aid. No one deserves it.
Maybe Mr. Obama has the right idea. Maybe all students should do some service work for a few years to “earn” (or at least off-set the taxes that I have to pay) toward the cost of an education, no matter how much mommy and daddy make or don’t make.</p>
<p>(Now I will go back to work and duck & cover…;))</p>
<p>“Also, in some cases it comes down to “work hard, save your $, and pay it all.” Then watch your neighbor slack off, waste $, and have everything paid FOR his kid. Although you both end up in the same place (BROKE) after 4 years, it doesn’t seem fair. To have your neighbor thinking his kid is smarter than yours adds insult to injury.”</p>
<p>I first made this post back on page 7. Late getting back to this, but my post was “just supposing” how this MIGHT possibly be a problem for some people. Purely hypothetical. Not at all reflecting MY actual situation. (MY kids only got true merit scholarships based on their outstanding test scores and grades. And my neighbors’ kids are dopers who work at McDonalds–so we don’t talk about college stuff 
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<p>I must add that the folks most likely to feel the sting in this situation are those whose income just barely puts them into the “full pay zone.” For example, someone who makes $150,000 (gross) and has an EFC of $40,000/yr (I haven’t done this on the FAFSA, so these numbers are hypothetical. . .)is less likely to find a $40,000/yr school “affordable” than someone who makes $250,000 or $2,000,000. </p>
<p>Obviously, 40K is going to put a much bigger crimp in the lifestyle of the 150K (probably 110K after taxes. . .)family than the 2million family. Yet they are both–and everything in between and above–considered “high income, full pay.” Once you cross into the full-pay zone, you don’t pay MORE because you make more. So someone with a 50K family income who gets full financial aid, would obviously find the 40K school “affordable” whereas the 150K income family might not.</p>
<p>heyalb… but the fact is that many who do get some FA, did not necessarily “waste those pennies, blow every paycheck, live regally, and invest foolishly at the casino.” Perhaps you know some people who did that. But my kids got some FA and I don’t think we live regally and have never been to a casino. Some people simply earn less money. Some fields pay less. Some areas pay less. Such people work just as hard as you and others who can pay the entire tuition in a lump sum.</p>
<p>Not to mention that most who get some FA, still have to pay a considerable amount for college, and loans, from their lower incomes. It is not like college is free to those who make less than full pay families.</p>
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<p>Oh indeed, yes I do, soozievt. Most indeedy, yes I do. And that is what I’m basing my posts on. Strictly personal experience, but that’s all I have to go on. ;)</p>
<p>Reply to Sooziet— You asked whether I believe that people who get financial aid don’t work hard. Absolutely not.</p>
<p>I was only commending 1sokkermom for the good job she did raising her son.
My opinion on this subject is just that… a subjective opinion.</p>
<p>I have two sons, both going to the same school. Our income, obviously, is the same for both. #1 son received financial aid in the form of a grant and so-called aid in the form of loans. (because he is willing to work hard for something he loves, after the fact, he received an award for being a “student manager” for the football team)…this boy works hard for what he loves.</p>
<h1>2 son received a grant, financial aid in the form of student loans AND a scholarship. He received the scholarship for his hard work at school. He was a very good student. THe scholarship was awarded as recognition of his hard work and very good grades. He deserves to be recognized because he worked so hard.</h1>
<p>The boys are going to the same school. They are both bright. Son #2 actually always scored very slightly less on standardized tests. But I am glad to see that son #2 is recognized with a scholarshiip for his hard work. He earned it and deserves it. #1 son has always worked hard for things he loved… So I hope he loves he work after college because then he will be successful otherwise, he will just get by …</p>
<p>So, yes, all this is very subjective. But I like to think my parenting helped all of my children.</p>
<p>I don’t resent people who get need-based aid. I get peeved with people who assert their kid has received merit money from schools where they offer none. A scholarship to an Ivy is need-based aid plain and simple. No, it’s not loans, and it’s true they were wanted at the school since they were accepted. But it’s not money given because they are more qualified or academically special. </p>
<p>Truthfully, as a full pay, I am only resentful when people might put out the vibe that our kid was accepted to all the schools he was ONLY because we’re full pay.</p>
<p>Modadunn, there are merit scholarships to need-only institutions that are funded by private entities, not the schools themselves. For instance, some National Merit and other national scholarships are portable; Telluride Association gives room-and-board scholarships to a few Cornell U and U of Michigan students per year; I’m sure there are other examples I don’t know about.</p>
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<p>My dear friend, welcome to the life of an African American college student.</p>
<p>Don’t you think that some of this is what my friend calls “Oprahfication”? I never watch Oprah and doubt her show has been the worst example of this, but our culture has brought into real life the talk show format where total strangers opine about the lifestyles of people they don’t know. As Missypie stated earlier on, people should limit their comments about where a student will be attending college to a few acceptable, congratulatory responses. The fact that people give themselves permission to express their opinions of that decision or of the school itself is a by-product of the decreased civilty of discourse in society.</p>
<p>And I agree with heyalb–no one should be talking about how much they are paying for school either, nor should anyone ask a parent how much they’re paying. I have, in fact, been asked more than once and some people have been quite pushy in their desire to know.</p>
<p>On another note, I am of the opinion that the term “scholarship” should refer to merit-based aid, and that “grant” is the better term for any financial aid that does not need to be repaid. All the same, once I looked up the definition for the word “scholarship”, I saw that the usage was not as restrictive as I had thought. Furthermore, my S was also awarded what I think is a merit-within-need scholarship. It was an endowed scholarship (used that word on the letter) worth slightly more than what he had been receiving as financial aid from the college’s general fund. So I’d imagine it was based on both need and merit. Do I have bragging rights, LOL?</p>
<p>For many parents, the cost is the big issue, and they are discussing it through out the process. Which school would give the most to the student, the chances of aid, of merit, less loans,etc, etc. So when the acceptances come, it is natural that the discussion continues with the conclusion of the process. What did these kids get? Perfectly natural to me. </p>
<p>Where it becomes rude is when you ask those who have not been in your circle of friends and acq ruminating about all of this. And it happens. I’ve had near strangers who just know my son or have said little more than “hello” ask me where my son is going for college, and then on to more of the nitty gritty that I have never even begun to share with that person.</p>
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<p>People who would have the bad manners to start quoting what they are paying – esp at the same school – are so classless that it’s not even worth “resenting” them. Pitying them, maybe. </p>
<p>I can’t for the life of me see why announcements as to where little Johnny or Suzy are going to school are met with anything other than “How nice for them! I hope they enjoy it!” Even if privately you think the school’s a bust or haven’t heard of it. I disagree strongly with a comment upthread that “it’s considerate to give people some background on what the school is in case it’s not an Ivy / state flagship / immediately recognizable school.” Why?? It implies that the listener needs to approve or vet the choice – or that it’s important that the listener “know all about it” because goodness knows, we’ve got to get the listener’s opinion.</p>
<p>This is still my very favorite post of all times on CC, from bclintonk discussing his D’s acceptance to Haverford and this is precisely the attitude I want my kids to cultivate next year: </p>
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<p>THAT’s the attitude!</p>
<p>A few years ago my son’s Northeast LAC changed from merit aid to need-based aid. Some of you may know which school I’m talking about. He would have applied to the school even if it did not offer need-based aid. He probably would have received some type of merit aid. </p>
<p>He turned down a substantial merit aid package to attend this school. Many other students receiving need-based aid probably did the same thing. Somebody mentioned that in some areas of the country the cost of living and wages are lower. That shifts the scales towards need-based aid for some families.</p>
<p>One measure of a loving parent is sacrificing hard earned dollars so their child can attend a college costing more than they wanted to spend.</p>
<p>Here’s what’s in The Dartmouth Today: “Forty-six percent of incoming students will receive financial aid, with an average scholarship of $34,565, representing a decrease from the Class of 2013’s average scholarship of $36,000, according to Laskaris.”</p>
<p>I guess they get to call their money whatever they want to.</p>
<p>What about the kids who get merit from need only for 90% of the class? We’re in a really hard spot. I got a STRIDE from Smith, and most people try to correct me when I say I got a scholarship…they say I got need based aid…well, yes, but I ALSO got a STRIDE</p>
<p>Maybe the recovering economy means that there’s less need.</p>