As we are approaching the end of this dreadful process, I am beginning to realize I should have been more insistent that D applied to at least one ED school, if not two (ED1 & EDII) instead of hedging her bets across a wide spectrum. Here we are, at the end of the road, and I’m not suggesting she does not have some good options, but, had she applied ED, she may have achieved her dreams (Chicago & JHU) instead of being waitlisted.
I think it was a huge mistake not to take an ED route.
For D18, I would insist on some early action applications. She applied ED to a school “everyone” said she would get into (although I tried to be the voice of reason) and had a very busy summer between junior and senior year. She took an EMT certification class at our CC, took part in a couple of shows, and had three AP class summer work to complete. Finishing up her application took a back seat until school started, She was deferred from her ED choice and then we scrambled to cast a wider net. The year was more stressful than it had to be.
IMHO, ED only makes sense if both of the following are true: You can afford to be full pay or at least can afford whatever the NPC estimates as your cost; The student knows for sure which one school they have as their number 1 choice. For each of our students one of these was true, but the other was not.
I also am not a big believer that students have to go to a famous tippy top school for undergrad. When I was a graduate student at a very highly ranked university, there were other graduate students there who had done their undergrad at a very wide range of universities, and many had come from their in-state flagship. If your Master’s and/or PhD are from Stanford, I don’t think that many people are going to care whether your Bachelor’s is from MIT or from Rutgers or from UNC or from UMass. Actually, working in high tech, no one cares where anyone got any of their degrees – we quickly learn who knows their stuff and who does a good job and that is all that matters.
If you daughter has several good choices to choose between, then I think that you are in very good shape. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong.
I do like EA and also rolling admissions. It should be possible in most cases to know early at least most of the schools where you are going to apply. In September students don’t always feel like getting their applications in, but if they do get them in early then they are going to have a lot less stress later. If a student knows by January that they are already in at one school that is a very good choice that they like, then the next two months of waiting for results becomes significantly less stressful, and rejections hurt a bit less. Last year by February break we knew that D2 was in at all five schools where she applied, and the break was spent just trying to pick one.
In terms of “dreadful process”, yes I agree with that description.
If I could go back a year and start the process again with my D, there isn’t very much I would change about the application process itself - I think she handled it in a balanced and smooth way, and in the fall she will go to a school the she loves that has the programs she is interested in. She did apply ED, for what it is worth.
If I could do something over, it would be to even more aware than I already was of the fact that many times my well intentioned “helping”, was in fact motivated by my own stress and anxiety about her college search, and that rather than being helpful to her, it was only adding to her own stress. I wish I could have recognized this in myself each time it popped up, and dealt with it before it even came into the room with her. As it turns out, she was more than capable of handling the process and some of my “help” felt undermining to her. Rather than empowering her, it sometimes made her feel like I thought she was incapable of handling what she needed to take care of.
Edited to add: Also wanted to put it out there that there are lots of different experiences around this process, and for out family, it was not at all dreadful. There were many parts of it that were fun, and interesting and enlightening. It was incredible to get to watch her ask herself who she was and what she is interested in, and then to see her find out some of those answers for herself.
Well, I probably would have taken my kids to see less costly options FIRST.
I also would NOT have made my second kid apply to a college close to home (waste of money). The three schools she applied to initially were enough…and two were EA and one rolling…so she had her acceptances by December.
Re: ED…we wanted our kids to have options at the end of the admissions cycle. So, neither applied ED anywhere. But then…neither had a very clear and outstanding first choice. I think that having a clear, outstanding first choice is MORE important when choosing an ED school than hoping your admissions chances will be better. In other words…if the school isn’t the top choice, period, I would not apply ED anything just for an admissions edge.
My neighbor would say, make sure the child doesn’t procrastinate about applying, even to the state flagship, even with a 4.0 and a 32 on the ACT. Her daughter was waitlisted.
This is good advice. I’ve noticed that students who fall into categories where lots of similar types of people apply are best off getting those applications in during early action periods.
Apply early and often. Especially if the kid is unsure about what he/she wants. There where 2 or 3 schools we “suggested” and now look back and think we should have “forced” the issue a bit more. IMO options are key.
Our counselor told us that there was a three pronged rule for ED. One, if you are accepted, you wouldn’t give another thought to rescinding all the other applications. Two, you are willing to pay full price, or your EFC based on the calculator. Three, both you and your parents are completely on board. With these rules in mind, both D1 and D2 applied to their favorites ED. Initially, we really wanted D2 to apply EA because we knew that her ED school gives minimum merit and some of her other favorites would likely give her a LOT. That said, she changed her mind and did ED because she really, really wanted to get in, and there was a vast difference in acceptance rates between EA and ED. She is absolutely over the moon at being accepted.
My DD was also waitlisted from JHU and Chicago. However- she applied broadly enough that we still have great options. At one time I regretted the number of applications (21) but right now I’m glad she put in the work. She has been admitted thru early right, admitted thru rolling, waitlisted, denied. The whole process is so unpredictable that I feel she needed to apply broadly.
What would I do different…,will have to wait until the final outcome to decide.
I am long away from knowing the final outcome as we await decisions coming these next two weeks but I definitely have things I would have done differently.
First of all I would see the safeties first. We plugged in her stats, saw such great schools pop up and off we went. Months later, when I found CC and learned about safeties we started adding some and looking at safeties. We had a hard time finding safeties she likes. We really needed to build the list from the bottom up.
Many people said it but we didn’t listen, I think she applied to too many, 14. The fall up through Christmas break was really arduous with all the applications and supplemental essays. It’s not done after that. There are interviews and tracking financial aid documents etc. she could have applied to less. That said as we wait on answers from th e 9 sis most interested in we will never know if the two she took off end up being the two she gets in to.
Lastly about ED. My D did have favorite and we did briefly discuss ED but it really wasn’t an option because of finances. After Nov 1, after she would have applied ED she toured a school that she liked even better.
I would also assume that they would get into the state schools, but that those universities would offer little to no merit aid. I’d only have them apply to one or two state schools and the rest private.
Would have applied EA1 instead of ED. Thought ED was the right choice, but S was deferred and then accepted in RD round with great merit aid. In between, prolonged disappointment.
I liked the Early Action and Rolling Admission approach my daughter took. She knew all her decisions by January and had some admissions decisions the first week of September and some great merit aid options already in October. I strongly believe the early admission process led to more merit aid as well.
We would’ve had son interview at his top choice and then apply ED. We were going to be full pay anyways, an thought he would like some additional schools to consider. He kind of thought that way too, but we didn’t hash out an ED plan. He applied EA and then ultimately got waitlisted. I think he might have gotten in had he interviewed and applied ED. He got into some fine schools and likes where he is at, but I think he might have liked the other school better.
With our son19 if he really has his mind set on a certain school next Fall we’ll ED and see what happens.
Our family was very happy with the process, which worked out well. I think important choices included:
-visiting all colleges, and doing interviews wherever these are evaluative,
-writing a ‘small moment’ personal narrative essay,
-applying early action to some ‘safer’ choices, and
-making a good strategic move by applying early decision to a top choice.
(Other, longer-term important choices included these aspects, which were not done with college in mind but because these made sense at the time:
-doing what interested him at the time extracurricularly and letting his involvements evolve naturally— dropping, adding and deepening activities according to interest… then writing and speaking about them for his applications/interviews in a way that showcased what is special about him,
-minimizing time spent on test prep (on own through Khan), and testing only once, in favor of more time to spend on classwork and extracurricular activities, and
-taking challenging and interesting classes and being an active participant in class.)