<p>For you experienced parents out there, just wondering if you would have done anything different if you could redo senior year (we have a senior, of course).</p>
<p>Probably won't qualify for much need-based financial aid, but since he'll be at least NMSF or NMF, qualifies for some scholarships full-ride tuition etc., though not at "dream or 'prestige' schools." </p>
<p>Did any your kids choose full-ride over dream/prestige school (or vice versa)? Happy? Regrets? Advice? Son is thinking of studying engineering, but not sure. Also, what your is your child currently in (field, school, award) & what was accepted vs. turned down. Thanks!</p>
<p>I would have my daughter take every college course, that time allows, which she would hate to take in college. Sadly, she didn't agree with my suggestion.</p>
<p>Senior year, we worried too much. Would like to take that back, if we could.</p>
<p>The big choice we made was letting S apply ED, knowing if he got it, it would mean full freight. He did, and two weeks later, he was offered a very large scholarship to his second choice (rolling app) school. </p>
<p>We could have large regrets, but we don't. We are paying full freight even though our income is now less than the cost of his school (long story, but we have just enough in bank to cover).</p>
<p>We see how happy he is. Our D went the merit route and it was for her a really, really bad choice. When she transfered to a different school, losing the merit scholarship, she blossomed into the person she was meant to be--she found her home.</p>
<p>That convinced us. S went to firstchoice school, and had a sensational first year. Money is really, really tight here, we're living on a shoe-string, but really, what is it for, anyway? Just nothing I want that much.</p>
<p>one thing we would do differently is to visit all the schools she was interested in by the end of Dec. We left one go--a safety and she probably would have sought a different one if we had gone earlier. luckily, she was accepted to her 1st choice, so all ended well. it would just have made things a little less stressful. </p>
<p>She chose her dream school (Reed) over several full-ride offers. Some were very tempting, as they offered to hold and refund all of her outside scholarships and pay them out to her at the end of her stay. Luckily, she's received very good aid, and that, with her outside awards, leave us with not too much to pay. She plans to major in either Bio or Biochemistry. So far, she seems a bit overwhelmed with the amount of reading, but happy. (She just finished her 1st week of classes.) One thing she did do was to take a speed-reading course this past June. </p>
<p>Another thing to strive for would be to start the apps as soon as possible. they take more time than your student realizes. </p>
<p>We, like Garland, are paying through the, aahh, nose! We will see if it was worth it (with the prediction I just read of possible upcoming 25% unemployment in our region, I'm not sure we will ever recover, but as she says "what else is the money for?").
One thing I would do differently would be to have visited at least one safety that was outside our area, far from home. One of DD's criteria was to go far from home, but she and we were reluctant to use those faraway visits on safeties - had she ended up at a safety, she would have had only one real alternative, when she could have had 2 choices.</p>
<p>The other thing is CHILL - as hard as that may be, this will resolve itself, most likely with a happy ending. You child needs you to chill, as well. Know your child - mine is less of a procrastinator than I am, but I was so worried about deadlines that I bugged her unduly - she had never intentionally missed a school deadline in 12 years, why would she start missing deadlines now with a process that she recognized as being very important?! Her younger brother, now that's a different story - he will really need guidance (my husband being a much better source of guidance ;)) - know your child.</p>
<p>20/20 hindsight, would have saved tons of time and money on apps, because my son's first choice gave him a conditional offer in December and he was also admitted to his second choice in December!</p>
<p>He wouldn't change a thing about doing every possible performing arts event/show/gig - ended the year in clouds of joy.</p>
<p>Visit as many of the schools to which you are applying before applications are due. I thought I had a great list of schools I'd like to go to, but I could only visit my first choice due to time constraints. When I was waitlisted at my first choice, I had to start visiting my second choices--my second choice turned out to be in a really bad area, I didn't click with another choice, so I ended up sending in my deposit to a school I wasn't crazy about. I was very nervous about attending. I finally got in off the waitlist, but it was a close call. There are some things about a school you can only know by visiting. The viewbooks are not going to show you a school's flaws; you have to find them on your own. Don't make my mistake.</p>
<p>Thanks, everyone! Keep the suggestions and advice coming. Son's safety school said they may send him a plane ticket to visit the school for 3 days in February, before he has to give them any money or final decisions.
Son is sometimes a procastinator, but generally gets things done, eventually. Really appreciate the insights you've all shared. This is a tough time & so different from when hubby & I were in college.</p>
<p>garland,
I can definitely relate to what you say, both the worrying too much and the tight money. My son kept telling me not to worry, and I should have listened to him.</p>
<p>The smartest thing I did WAS listen to my son. We didn't do any college visits before applying. He knew the reputations of the music schools to which he was applying, knew it might be very hard to get into some of them, and felt it would be a waste of money to visit schools that might not accept him. However, even though I cringed at the cost, we sent him to visit his final four choices after acceptances came in. He had a lesson with the trumpet teacher at three of the schools and hung out with other music students, so he got a good feel for the place. The visits definitely helped him to eliminate a couple schools and were a strong factor in his final acceptance. He just started classes Monday, but is really excited about his year to come.</p>
<p>And yes, the school he picked was the most expensive of the final four. :-( He was able to get some grant money after talking to his trumpet teacher-to-be at the college, but we still have to pay a lot. (Another lesson: if you can't afford it, talk to someone and see if there is a way to get more money. And that someone is not always in the financial aid department.) Now for four years I can still work on not worrying too much... :-)</p>
<p>As for the senior year itself, again, I let my son choose. He dropped an Anatomy class that would have given him college credit and looked great on his transcript to have more time for music, because he had finally figured out that music was his future. (He had thought at one time he might become a doctor.) He chose to be active in many music activities--sometimes it seemed like too much, but it was what he wanted. </p>
<p>Knowing your child is, I guess, the most important thing. This son happens to be very responsible and goal-oriented, so I could trust him to make wise choices. Other kids may need more guidance.</p>
<p>Learned from going through it once before with S, that D's experience would be totally different--two polar opposite kids. She was accepted ED to her #1 choice, and we knew we'd have to pay full freight as well. Fortunately, we had enough money saved for the first few years and H started a new job 9/1 after being unemployed for 14 months (that was scary, to say the least). Glad we still sent off the Common App forms (not the supplements or fees) to other schools just in case.</p>
<p>Since the outcome was optimum, we wouldn't have done anything drastically different from what we did. Even though we thought D might prefer a school larger than an LAC, she's reported that she's very happy where she is, so I guess the right decision was made. In terms of possible majors, she had thought International Relations, but also considered math and is now talking about Latin American Studies and a minor in dance. So, if your son is thinking about engineering right now, it's important to have your son consider schools that would allow him the flexibility to change his mind in case engineering doesn't work out.</p>
<p>Definitely enjoy this last year of having your S living at home--savor the moments!</p>
<p>My son stuck it out with a 13th year to graduate with an IB Diploma. He seemed fine with it and ended with top marks in his class which will give him some extra credits as he begins his new school. That route even though some friends graduated a year earlier helped him out soooo much. It was a topic in some essays. He won scholarships and his education is basically paid for. He has enrolled in his favorite school which is not on most folks radar. So far so good. He leaves for school in a week. The only thing I think he should have done differently is apply to fewer schools since he had a favorite which was basically a match school. He applied to 8 since money was so important and he was applying to music schools as well. In the end, the reach and match schools gave better deals than the "safeties." If we had to do again, I'd counsel 4 to 6.</p>
<p>My D chose the free ride as a NMF a few years back (graduated May 05) at ASU after being courted by them..she was a performance major (B Mus)at the time and it turned out to be a happy coincidence of free ride,nationally known studio teacher in her instrument,top 25 music school and honors college.Turned out to be a great decision.She loved the desert setting(we're New Yorkers),the size of the U was shrunk by living in the Honors housing complex,the music school was top notch.When D's plans changed somewhat..still music but no longer performance..the U was able to accomodate her new interests w/o needing to transfer.She had a relatively stressfree 4 years, because of the stipend didnt need to work during the school year (worked summers though,and the last academic year to get library experience).Did an honors study abroad summer program.Found a great mentor (referred to one by another interested faculty member) wrote a senior honors thesis which formed the base of her interests for Grad School,made conections and was admitted to the PhD program of her choice..with full tuition plus fellowship $.
Only problem that came up for fellow NMF's (ASU attracts many because of their generousity with $)...they require you keep a 3.5 (out of state residents).It can be hard to do.D was able to but most of her friends were not able to do it consistently and therefore had to appeal,be placed on probation for the scholarship,etc.It can prove stressful..its a pretty high standard.
She's now in the midwest, and while loving her new school and finding the city appealing, she misses the desert alot and wants to return to that part of the country to start her teaching career if possible.Looks like no more East Coast for that girl...
She did catch some flack from her competitive,high ranking HS over her college choice.It just was something that wasnt done and that they didnt understand (as in ..why would you go ...there...).</p>
<p>Son is being "mildly" courted as a NMSF--he only needs to keep at 3.0 GPA & complete 24 credits/year. This seems a lot less stressful than worrying every year about whether you may lose funding if you happen to dip down to say 3.4 or something. The funding (if he's a NMF) would cover tuition & room & board for 4 years, but not increase to keep up with any increases. The school says he could get quite a bit even if he's only a NMSF. You can also apply for them to let you visit the campus at their expense! The school is also large enough that if he changes focus, the school would have nearly anything he'd care to study & he would not have to switch schools.</p>
<p>Son is still sifting through the other applications & schools he MAY be interested in, but having no substantial debt is VERY appealing to us. We are still encouraging him to consider his other options.</p>
<p>HiMom - I re-read your OP, and realize your question is "the money question".
During her junior year, we sat daughter down and had a frank talk about money - my daughter is very practical, but also academically oriented, she loves to travel. We basically told her that we had the resources to send her wherever she wanted to go for college, but grad school/prof school/study abroad, any extras might be problematic. If she chose big state U, which would actually have cost us less than her living at home going to high school, we would deposit 3 years worth of private school tuition (100K) in account for her, over the 4 years of college - she refused.
Some would say we tried to bribe her, but we were attempting to put her choice in concrete terms - we are sacrificing a second home, a new car, etc, for her , but she is sacrificing some degree of financial security. She doesn't quite understand what she gave up, and doesn't yet know what she is getting!
Don't misunderstand me, I think she made the right decision, but resources are finite, and she and we have to make the best of her choice.</p>
<p>That's to say, have an honest talk with your son. You are valuing education and experiences, basically, and that is a "good" that only individual people know what it is worth to themselves. If you cannot afford to pay full freight or have enough flexibility in your finances to sleep at night, then he shouldn't go ED. Only you know how much the figure that allows you to sleep is. If you know you can pay ED, then he needs to know how much it is going to cost, and how that cost will affect your ability to help him in the future - he may or may not be money savvy enough to comprehend what it actually means.</p>