<p>My d is valedictorian with very high stats. She didn’t apply anywhere but to two state schools and GaTech (she wants engineering). She never considered anything else even though we offered her “the world” in terms of what we’d do, if she wanted it. She didn’t. She’ll be going to UF and she’ll excel there, and she’ll be close enough to drive home when she wants to … very important to her. She’s happy; we’re happy. Win-win! Just so frustrating at the high school listening to administrators who intimate she didn’t do them proud enough because she didn’t apply to “the big leages.” Who cares about their bragging rights? I sure don’t …</p>
<p>If there is no financial worries, then, in the end, it has to be your childs decision. With that said, there should be extensive investigation of majors offered, college visits, meetings on campus if possible with profs, discussions with alum, possible campus sleepover. You should only be giving your opinion on what you think his/her best choice should be. But you should also be very clear that you will back your child 100% no matter where they decide to go.</p>
<p>Like Oldfort said: “My kid would go to the highest ranked school for the major she is going to major in.”</p>
<p>My Son wasn’t the Valedictorian, but he did make it into Harvard. His choice came down to Harvard and the State’s flagship university. With Harvard’s finacial aid, and State’s low cost, the net cost (excluding loans) was similar. Son agonized over the choice for a month. Ultimately, it came down to where he could best pursue his dream, and it wasn’t Harvard College. I told him I wanted him to go to Harvard, but I thought the State’s U would be better for him.</p>
<p>My daughter is the valedictorian this year. She got accepted at range of good schools, some highly ranked and some not so high. If she had chosen to attend lowest one among them - her rock-bottom safety, I probably would have been disappointed, but in the end the decision would be hers.</p>
<p>The only time I would actively discourage her choice would be if she were making choices for really foolish reasons. Sometimes kids make poor choices out of youthful thoughtlessness or folly, but for most kids with the drive and maturity to end up valedictorian, this isn’t an issue.</p>
<p>Whether she chooses Harvard over BU or BU over Harvard, she will need to explain the reasons to me and give fair consideration to any objections I might have. That is probably it.</p>
<p>I would add that no matter what she chooses, I will play devil’s advocate and point out the merits of the alternative choice. I see that as a useful parental function that complements the other parental function of cheering the kid on once the selection has been made.</p>
<p>In all honesty, it would be hard for me to imagine any mature reason to choose BU over a top college. I would certainly need a very good reason to invest over $200K in BU when a top college was an option.</p>
<p>I don’t believe 18 year olds are experienced adults with all the maturity, worldly experience and frontal lobe development to always make sound decisions. With that much money (mine) and their future opportunities in play, I would need an excellent reason.</p>
<p>^^If BU offered some specific major that the student wanted and the higher schools didn’t, or their version of that major wasn’t as good for some reason, I would consider that to be a legitimate reason to choose BU.</p>
<p>what if the college choice was Harvard vs. an out of state college like Pittsburgh or Penn State where you wouldn’t have to “invest” as much money?</p>
<p>Another thing I would factor in would be the kid’s track record up to that point. If the kid had a good head on his/her shoulders and had repeatedly demonstrated good judgment and had a history of making a success of past choices, that kid would need a lot less guidance than one with a record of impulsive decisions, half-baked plans, and poor follow-through.</p>
<p>I’m with coureur. Many students (including vals which this thread is about) have the maturity to make well reasoned decisions. I felt that way about my two kids and they explored their school options deeply and had reasons for their final choice. It wasn’t a matter of foolish reasons. I could see that being an issue if that happened but it never entered into it. There are good reasons a kid could pick a lower ranked school over one that is ranked higher, if that school truly fit their selection criteria better. (none of this is money related)</p>
<p>For that matter, I am really glad that my kids took their time to explore deeply and do comprehensive college visits to pick the school that fit them and did not simply say, “got into a very high ranked school…I’m going THERE!” I even recall for grad school admissions, my D was fortunate to get into six highly regarded programs but could not pick until she deeply explored and visited each one and did not simply go by ranking. For instance, she was in at MIT, Columbia and Cornell…but insisted on visiting UVA’s program that she got into before deciding where to go as she really wanted to find the best fit. While she chose MIT, I would have been fine if she had chosen UVA if she felt it fit her better (she liked their program too). Five highly ranked schools gave her scholarships too, I forgot to mention. Only MIT did not. But she felt MIT fit what she was looking for the best and we allowed her to pick whichever school she felt fit her best. We trusted her judgement. It is her life, after all.</p>
<p>Good point. Vals and sals have usually had a long record of setting goals, setting priorities, delaying gratification and otherwise making reasoned decisions. That kind of record would definitely give you reason to listen carefully to the reasons why they would choose one college over another.</p>
<p>It’s funny – I agree completely with coureur’s #50, while disagreeing almost completely with his #48. Offering a specific major that a kid wants is actually a pretty terrible reason to choose a college, for two reasons: (1) Of course, statistically every kid is likely to change majors between spring of his senior year in high school and his graduation from college. (2) There’s a lot of marketing that goes into what majors a college offers. A few days ago, there was a thread involving a rising high school senior looking for Linguistic Anthropology programs. Now, what do you think the chances are that this student (a) understands where “Linguistic Anthropology” fits into the academic map, or (b) would get a better education and leg up on the rest of her life as a “Linguistic Anthropology” major at BU vs. some less glitzy concentration at Harvard, or (c) couldn’t duplicate BU’s program at a higher quality level as a joint concentration at Harvard?</p>
<p>I meant to acknowledge above that the “doesn’t offer a major the kid wants” is nonetheless often useful as a way to eliminate some colleges and to focus on others, and generally that’s fine. And, sure, a kid whose heart is set on engineering should probably steer clear of the University of Chicago, where “engineering” is sort of a curse word. But should he go to East Podunk Tech because it offers a BS in Video Game Design, vs. MIT which doesn’t have that specific concentration?</p>
<p>I was valedictorian many moons ago. I knew I wanted to major in structural engineering. UT-Austin was ranked well in that area. It was the only school I applied to. My friends heading off to LACs around the country told me I should apply to MIT, etc., but I didn’t see the point. I was very happy at UT and got a wonderful education. My parents didn’t try to influence me one way or the other.</p>
<p>DD2 was Val this year. She picked the school she wanted despite having a better merit aid offer at another school which was ranked a little higher. It’s where she felt a better fit. Finances were considered in the application process.</p>
<p>My oldest kid was not certain of her major upon entering college but had a leaning/interest in architectural studies and opted to narrow her college list to schools that offer that major since many fine schools do not and so if she did end up deciding to major in that, the school would at least have an offering. She did choose a school (Brown) that is not particularly strong in that major, but that was fine as long as they offered it, since she’d eventually have to go to grad school anyway if she wanted to pursue this field. So, she did not pick by strength of the major but certainly did pick schools that offered a major she was interested in but not yet committed to. </p>
<p>My second daughter knew from an early age what she wanted to major in and applied to special/professional degree programs and so the major was VERY important as she was committing to a program and not simply a college and was entering directly into that program and not choosing a major down the line. In fact, for someone applying to BFA programs in Musical Theater, as she did (her entire college list consisted of these programs), one must be 100% committed to the major or should not even bother applying. Further, college rankings matter not as some of the most regarded programs are not even located in the top universities of the country. The programs themselves are HIGHLY competitive even if the colleges themselves are not and are not highly ranked. While my D’s chosen BFA program was located in a selective university (NYU/Tisch), many of the highly regarded BFA programs she got into were not. For example, she got into the BFA in MT programs at Ithaca and Syracuse, which are very high up the chain in the BFA in MT program reputation, but the universities themselves are not highly ranked.</p>
<p>Whether my investment is $100K or $250K, it’s still a big investment. And I still feel a responsibility to help launch my kids into the world with as many options open to them as possible.</p>
<p>I certainly agree if it’s a matter of studying something the top schools don’t offer that might be the good reason I’m looking for. But I’m assuming my kids wouldn’t have applied to colleges that don’t offer what they want.</p>
<p>I agree with 3bm103’s reply. Maybe the reason I cannot relate to the issue of “would I LET my kid attend…” and the fact that we totally let our kids make their college choice decisions on their own and supported whichever school that they wanted is because their decisions were VERY well reasoned, researched, and articulated. I just never dealt with frivolous reasons like “I like their football team” or “My friend goes there and likes it” or some such. They knew what they wanted in a college and were lucky to have choices and we supported any choice they made as their plans were not impulsive or half-baked in the least. Perhaps if I had a kid who did choose on flimsy criteria, I’d feel differently. </p>
<p>By the way, one of my kids had to choose where to matriculate at age 17 and one did it at age 16. And now both have graduated college and the first thing I would tell you is that seeing their experiences over the four years at their respective universities, they truly made an excellent choice and their schools fit them so well. I’m so glad we trusted them to pick for themselves. They picked well. It has nothing to do with rankings for them or for us.</p>
Just so frustrating at the high school listening to administrators who intimate she didn’t do them proud enough because she didn’t apply to “the big leages.” Who cares about their bragging rights? I sure don’t …</p>