I am currently a freshman at Wesleyan, and I know there are many posts like mine, but I still wanted some feedback :). Wes wasn’t my first choice, or even my second or my third, but I was still really excited to go here, super far from my home and basically everything I had experienced before. I have a friend group, and I’m taking classes that I am interested in, but I am doing completely average (B and B+) in classes, and I can’t push myself to try and get the grades I know I can make. My friends aren’t really similar to me, but I have fun when I’m with them. A lot of the people on my campus seem really wonderful and I would love to be friends with them, but staying in the clubs I joined got to be too hard and anxiety-inducing after they all became friends and I stopped going.
The thing is, when I go back to my room and sit, all I think about is leaving. It’s not that I’m having a miserable time, but I feel out of place and wrong, and I can’t figure out what it could be?? Coming back from winter break made it worse because I was ready and excited to start a new semester and maybe feel better, but it’s the exact same as I remember it. I don’t know if I need to transfer or take a semester off, but the knowledge that my family and I are both paying a lot of money for me to half-ass my classes and dream of leaving feels wrong. Even my personality feels off, as I’m used to being happy and enthusiastic, but here I am more often quiet and spacy, and that makes me miss home even more, as I absolutely hate feeling pathetic and that’s what I feel most of the time here.
I had a 4.6 GPA in high school, and I got a 34 on my ACT, but my GPA is a 3.17 after just one semester and I have a feeling it could drop even lower this semester if something doesn’t change. I was thinking of transferring to Vanderbilt or somewhere similar to be closer to home and in the city atmosphere I love so much, but I don’t even know if I could get into those schools with my grades.
If y’all have any advice on what to do or where to go, I would love to hear it!