From the moment I got accepted ED, I felt in my gut that I’d made a mistake.
I’d only visited once and not even overnight. My dad and sister liked the school, and, to be honest, I think I allowed their opinions to influence mine. Additionally, I had convinced myself that I’d major in film studies even though I have no strong interest in or drive to study it. All in all, I was anxious to get the application process over with and made a rash decision.
Well, I arrived on campus and, for the longest time, tried to convince myself that I liked it there. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents who were, of course, proud of me for getting in. But I was never happy. I felt (still feel) like an outcast. I have one good friend, but besides him, I’ve had trouble connecting with people. No matter how much I try to focus on the positives, I still don’t feel like I belong there.
The thing is, there is a lot I like about Wes:
The academics and professors are phenomenal
They do have a good English program. I’m considering an English/creative writing major
I still believe a liberal arts education is right for me
I can’t imagine going to a school without an open curriculum (where I’d have to take Gen Eds)
I have a single dorm as a freshman (alone time is essential for my introverted nature)
There are a lot of dining options
But these don’t make up for the fact that:
The student life is not for me. I don’t feel like I fit in with the student body
My definition of an enjoyable Saturday night is hanging with a few friends (watching a movie, playing video games or just having a nice conversation). At Wes, my experience has been that the majority of students’ idea of fun involves partying and drugs/alcohol
I have no interest in hookup culture. At Wes, it feels inescapable
I’m not very political. If I had to describe my stance, I’d say left but closer to the center. At Wes, politics seem to dominate the culture. The school is very big into activism (I am not). Virtually everyone seems far left
I don’t like the campus. It’s not very attractive to me. Between the buildings, lack of nature and the surrounding area, I find it depressing.
I have very few friends. Lately, I’ve been tremendously unhappy. It got to the point where I was having some rather dark thoughts. Finally, I opened up to my mother who was incredibly understanding and agreed that I have to transfer.
Thoughts as far as where:
Hamilton College–Still liberal arts, still open curriculum, still good for English/creative writing. I hear that parties and drugs/alcohol don’t dominate the campus quite as much. The same with hookup culture. It’s also more center-left and not as into activism. I’ve yet to visit, but the campus looks much nicer from the pictures I’ve seen. I like the fact that there’s more nature and it’s a bigger campus with fewer students (therefore, more spaced out).
Vassar College–Also liberal arts and an open curriculum. This was the first school I thought about after getting my Wes acceptance and the subsequent regret. The campus is gorgeous. I don’t know much about student life. One thing is that it’s as left or even more left than Wesleyan. I’m not sure if activism is as big there, but I’d guess it is. The main problem with going here is that my sister just got accepted (she’s a year below me). We have a good relationship and I wouldn’t mind going to school with her (it actually might be nice considering we were friends all throughout high school), but it might be a little odd if I transferred right after she got in. And I’m not sure how she’d feel about it.
NYU used to be my dream school. While I like nature, I also find city campuses (BU as well) appealing. Neither of these is really an option because of financial reasons though.
I’m open to suggestions based on all I’ve said. Preferably a LAC with an open curriculum, but really anywhere that seems like a good fit.
Anyways, I have been doing well so far academically, so I don’t think I’ll have a problem getting accepted. It’s just a matter of making a choice before the deadline for the Fall semester. I apologize that this was so long, but I appreciate any advice!
Well, that pretty much describes all four of my years at Wesleyan. My classmates laugh at me to this very day because of all the cool concerts I missed. I just wasn’t persuaded by all the hype that lead up to them. OTOH, the friends that I made have lasted a half-century so, it wasn’t so bad a decision. There are a ton of things to do in collaboration with other people that don’t involve activism including writing for the Argus, running for student government (the WSA people tend to be center-left, IIRC.) One of my extra favorite pastimes was just attending sports events. Football season is over but, basketball (especially, women’s basketball) is very popular at Wesleyan.
But, as a fellow introvert, I recognize that deep need (or feeling as if you need) for “me time”. TBH, if you don’t find walking through the CFA* on a quiet weekend morning, soothing and relaxing, then yes, you probably would be happier at a more rural location. Hamilton is a solid choice with lots of secluded, wooded areas to walk around in; Bard is another. But, what’s the use of any of us throwing names out there - you really need to visit these places. Don’t make the same mistake twice!
Its campus in general, beyond being luxuriously sized, offers distinct neighborhoods. (Much like quarks, they come in flavors, often referred to as light, dark and grey.) In choosing where to live and dine, you could find your preferred social environment.
Vassar is not that different from Wesleyan in many significant ways. Based on relatively subtle differences in atmospheres, however, I think it might suit you better. Vassar would be top-notch for the study of literature (https://www.flavorwire.com/409437/the-25-most-literary-colleges-in-america).
Regarding Bard, it’s different enough from other liberal arts colleges that I think you would know pretty quickly whether it would be right for you.
Your direct impressions will be very important to your decision. I recommend you visit potential choices at a time when you can interact with students.
Take a look at Amherst. Could check a lot of your boxes. Open curriculum, strong English department, prize winning author now the writer in residence and plenty of other authors visit campus, beautiful campus, lots of nature, collaborative student body.
@merc81 Thank you so much for this response. You’ve confirmed a lot of thoughts I’ve had, and the links are very helpful. You’re absolutely correct about my direct impressions. I’ll have to visit each of these schools.
@tdy123 You’re right. Poor wording. I’ve had this doubt since I was accepted during my senior year of high school and have been trying to convince myself since. It’s felt like a long time.
In your research, it will be important to consider statistical information differently from when you were applying last year. Amherst, for example, accepts transfer applicants at a rate (recently 4.4%) much lower than that for first-years. Other selective colleges, fortunately, appear to welcome transfers, and admit them at rates similar to (or, in some cases, greater than) that for first-year applicants. By comparing across sections, you will find this information in the Common Data Sets for your schools of interest.
In Vassar’s case, also note the substantially different rates depending on gender (men, 17.2%; women, 10.6%). With the good grades you’ve earned at Wesleyan, however, I wouldn’t discourage you from applying under either scenario.
That’s right. I didn’t even think of that. I am a guy so that makes my chances for Vassar and Hamilton about equal. I’d definitely apply if the visits go well. Thanks!
You’re going to find these things exist at most of the schools you are considering for transfer. Honestly, I think you are blaming your unhappiness on Wesleyan and want to run away from it. Some of the reasons you have expressed for your unhappiness seem very superficial. Have you tried counseling? If not, I recommend at least trying it and discussing your concerns with a counselor on campus - or off.
There is no downside to applying to transfer and also making an appointment to chat with a peer or professional counselor to talk about your thoughts. Some people are more affected by place and surroundings than others - so I say follow your heart, while knowing that a new campus might or might not make the difference. Taking control of your situation and choosing your own path could be the answer you are looking for. Good luck with your journey!