I’m failing discrete math this semester. It was important to my major, computer science, but I’m switching to an art major next semester. I have already applied for the switch. So, will my failing grade have any consequences other than lowering my GPA? Will my parents find out? My mom already threatened to kick me out if I failed even one class. Will I get kicked out of college? I’m beyond panicked. I have no idea what to do. Please tell me my parents can’t find out I failed math.
In our house…no tuition bills were paid by the parents until grades were shown…online…with us watching the access process.
So in our house…we would have known you failed a course.
At some point, yes, your parents are going to find out.
They can find out later, they just can’t find out now. Tuition is something they’re expecting me to pay for, which is fine by me. However, in exchange for passing grades, I get to live at home. I’m a freshman, so I’ve never had an apartment or other.
They are going to be thrilled by an art degree?
I have access to my kids’ portals so that I can pay the tuition and make sure everything is correct. They didn’t have to give me access, but they did. One child has to change her password every 3-4 months, so I have to ask her for the new one if I need to do something.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter to me and I’d hope I could be a help if either were failing a class.
But to answer your question, did you give your parents access to your portal? If not, the school cannot release the information. Also like thumper1 said, they may not pay your tuition if you don’t give them access.
The college will not share your grades with your parents without your permission. Nor will they share classes, major changes, schedules or anything else…without your permission.
How and when you tell them any of this (or not)…is entirely up to you.
It is very unlikely that there will be any terrible effects from failing one class at college. (But don’t develop a pattern of failing…because there are consequences for that) You need to talk to a student counselor about all this stuff. You have options and privacy on your side.
Eventually the lies you’re planning about grades and your major will catch up with you. The longer it goes on, the more difficult it will be for your parents to trust you again when they find out. You might want to consider some other problem solving strategies.
Are you going to try and fix the math at all? That isn’t freshman math for CS, right? You took calc 1&2 credit? You are just done with CS without considering withdraw and retake? Lots of CS/eng kids wobble a bit.
I agree with @AroundHere’s post #6. You can’t hide this forever. Failing one class happens. You might be able to take a W for it and be only one class behind – or maybe not behind at all if you already have AP credits. On the other hand, changing majors from CS to art is a huge change. Not telling your parents about this is a big deal. I think that you need to tell them what is happening and carefully think through your next step.
I also agree with @Sybylla post #7. There are less drastic ways to fix this.
I tell my kids “Suck it up. Buttercup.” Tell the truth. It’ll set you free.
First, go to office hours and get a tutor TODAY.
Second: Is to too late to withdraw and take a W?
Third: CS to art sounds like a drastic change… What sort of art? Have you had success in that field before?
Please look into withdrawing and getting a W instead of failing. That will protect your GPA. You cannot have W’s for more than 25% of your classes without losing financial aid, but one W isn’t going to be a big deal on your transcript and will not affect aid. I think a W is very possible at this point. (If there is a medical reason for withdrawing, often schools will not put a W on the transcript either. Not relevant here but just making the point.)
You have already gotten a couple of negative comments about an art major, which I do not agree with at all. Head on over to the art major forum for support if you need it. Doing an art major as an undergrad is a an opportunity to work at something you love. It gives you access to any job that requests a bachelor’s degree, as well as to grad and professional schools, including medicine, law, business, nursing or PA and so on. Art may also involve some of the computer skills you have already acquired and develop more.
As a very basic answer here, it is always better to have a trusting relationship with parents if possible, but it sounds as if your fears are not entirely your fault, so to speak, since your parents have already told you you would be kicked out if you fail a class. I personally cannot imagine saying that to one of my kids, so I do understand your hesitation in talking with them. If you do withdraw and get a W, there won’t be any failing grade to tell them so your question will be moot, but you could tell them after the fact that you withdrew.
For your own sake, please talk to an adviser or some other adult about your situation. If you can’t talk to your parents, that leaves you kind of isolated and anxious, I would think, and having a contact person to discuss decisions with is always a good thing. Or perhaps your parents will be more receptive than you think.
It is much easier to tell your parents now than latter. Plus they may have good advice for you. Talk to your dean and the instructor about retaking the class at a later date if it is too late to drop it. Some schools may replace the failing grade with a new grade once you retake. Some help along these lines may not be widely known. So speak up about your issue now with the administration. A failing grade is not the end of the world, but discussing the matter now with those in a position to help you is your best course of action. I don’t think the instructor or the dean will actually want you to fail. In fact, I know that is not the case. Same with your parents.
It has been my experience in life - both as a child and as a parent - that parents tend to eventually find out about most things in life. Somewhere I saw a meme that said a mom can do better research than the FBI. Now, when parents find out about things later, it doesn’t bode well. My advice is to take responsibility for the failing grade and tell your parents about it, along with your plan of action to bring your grades up.
Colleges don’t send your grades to your parents. I never saw a score report for my daughter’s 4 years, but she would tell us her grades because she was proud of them. Our son also tells us his grades.
I think you should 1) get a tutor immediately and show up for every office hour and 2) come clean to your parents. They may be more merciful than you expect, and honesty always helps relationships. Lying seldom does.
Withdrawal date for some colleges is next Monday. If you’re pretty sure you’re going to fail, you’re better off taking a W. Look into it today!
If you are really failing, and you can still withdraw from the course (and get a W), I also vote for that plan.
Before you do that, though, have you met with the professor during office hours? How do you know that you are failing? Do you think you are failing because your percentage score is in the failing range from high school? It may not be failing in college, especially in a STEM subject.
I am familiar with STEM classes that can be passed with a score of 40%, and occasionally even lower. Has the professor shown the distribution of exam scores?
The first semester of your freshman year is too early to be discouraged about a major because you are having difficulty with one of the required courses. (If you never liked the major, but chose it to please your parents, that is different.) There are a lot of adjustments from high school to college. Also, the fact that you are living at home probably means that you are not participating in study groups of students in the class.
If you cannot withdraw and have to stick with this class for the rest of the semester, rather than resigning yourself to failing and just ignoring the class, I suggest that you put serious effort into understanding it and passing. Go to your professor’s office hours. If you have a teaching assistant, go to the TA’s office hours. Ask questions. “I am confused about [fill in the blank]” counts as a question. Try to find a helpful student in the class who gets the material, and ask her/him about it. There is still enough time in the semester to pass this course if you put serious effort into it.
I’m going to give you a different answer. I have met with students who let the drop date pass (and it passed 2 weeks ago at my institution) and who cannot pass no matter what they do (not enough points remaining to raise the grade enough).
See your professor. If the drop date has passed and you cannot pass the course, put your energy into the courses that will give you the most bang for you buck. In other words, try to offset that F with higher grades in other courses.
If you can still withdraw, do that.
If you can still pass, start working your tail off (tutor, office hours, etc.)
If this kid has been badly advised about taking credit and finds that starting his first semester at discrete is just too much, is there any way to backtrack along that math pathway that would help with that math? His peers are probably in calc1, Many kids with BC calc never take calc 1 & 2 credit, even if they get 5s in the AP, what is the college?
OP, I don’t think you were well-advised. Discrete math is not a walk in the park, and the variance in how well it’s taught is large. I have nothing against art, but I wouldn’t give up on CS on the basis of one course you’re struggling with. I agree with all of the above posters who suggested meeting with the professor, finding a TA/tutor you connect with, etc.
If you’re paying tuition yourself, good on you! If your parents throw you out of the house for having difficulties in Discrete Math, well, I can’t say what I want to say about that.