I'm sending in a supplemental essay...ADVICE

<p>UPenn does not ask for a personal statement, but I have such a good one, and it explains a unique circumstance in my life I had (family illness). I'm sending it with a short cover letter that so far basically says:</p>

<p>Dear Office of Undergraduate Admissions (?? uh, is this right?)</p>

<p>Because I care tremendously about my application to the University of Pennsylvania, I am submitting this supplemental essay to offer an added dimension to my application. This essay showcases a fundamental part of what I value in life – people – and how one specific person has drastically changed my perspective. I believe it offers something not seen in any other part of my application and provides my personal insight into a unique circumstance of my life. </p>

<p>Thank you for considering me as a candidate for admission to the University of Pennsylvania. </p>

<p>Is this good? Bad? What should I be saying/not saying?</p>

<p>Thanks!!
Anyone else send a supplemental essay?</p>

<p>Just make sure the essay is not the typical "what I learned from my/my mom's/my dad's illness" genre. That might hurt you...</p>

<p>As for the short letter...</p>

<p>It would be better to use the name of the admissions officer in charge of your region, rather than the current salutation.</p>

<p>You might want to focus more on editing the cover letter. Strike out tremendously, delete the second sentence (you're telling them what to expect from the essay, so they may make a judgement just based on that), and revise the third. </p>

<p>Add a introductory sentence or two to set up the letter. Something like: My name is ______________. I am an applicant to the University of Pennsylvania's Class of 2011....."</p>

<p>Just a couple of hints.</p>

<p>Go to the College Essay Forum and ask...they usually are very helpful.</p>

<p>^ Much appreciated. That's what I was looking for.</p>

<p>And no, it's not a typical essay. In fact, I got a call from the director of admissions at UNC-chapel hill about this essay and I was told is was very well written, very creative, and moving. I think it should be an asset to my application, along with the other essays that tell a lot about ME.</p>

<p>Thanks again for those suggestions.
Where can I find the name of my regional admissions rep? And how do I know they are the one that reads it?</p>

<p>if you apply to penn using the common app, then you can include two essays 1) your common app personal statement and 2) your long penn essay. just a thought...</p>

<p>Definately send it then...</p>

<p>Look on the colleges website, or call and ask for the name of the person who will read an application from your state.</p>

<p>I found him! Should I address it...</p>

<p>Dear John Smith, Regional Representative for Upstate New York</p>

<p>or just his name</p>