I leave for college in 6 days and it’s about 3 hours a way, maybe a few minutes less. I am so sad to leave my family and my pets and everything I know so well. I’m HORRIFIED, and I have IBS so I’m nervous about the bathroom situation and being judged by people. I’m just so scared to go, and I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with my parents before I leave. I just don’t want to go. Any advice?
Many are nervous about change. Think of all the opportunities waiting.
For IBS, Check with college and your dr, may be some accommodations available, like a room with your own bathroom.
See page 4 about college
“While each college or university may differ in the exact accommodations offered to students who need them, below is a list of some important accommodations that may be included:
• Priority Enrollment: This allows students to have an earlier enrollment time for classes and build a schedule that works best for their IBD
• Notetaking Support: This allows other student volunteers to consistently take notes for students with IBD who may not be able to attend every class.
• Adjusted Deadlines: This allows students with IBD to get reasonable extensions on projects and assignments if necessary. It’s important to note that the nature of deadline adjustments can vary from school to school
• Adjusted Attendance: These policies allow professors to work with students to come up with alternatives to making up attendance credit for missed classes
• Exam Accommodations/ Extended Time: This allows for extra time when taking timed exams. For students with IBD, this can mean “stopping the clock” when you need to use the bathroom and not losing time
• Housing: Depending on the types of housing offered, students may be able to request a certain type of room, such as one with your own bathroom, or a single room without roommates. Students may also be able to request certain things based on your medical treatment, such as having your own fridge or access to bathroom with a tub in case you require a sitz bath
• Dining: Students may be able to request a room with a kitchen if it’s offered. Some colleges may also have a special kitchen that only certain students have access to. Students may be able to discuss having a different meal plan than what is offered to other students or have specially crafted meals specific to their diet
• Mobility Accommodations: Student may be able to request transportation to, from and in between classes, if getting around campus is a challenge due to fatigue, joint pain, or other IBD-related reasons “
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There are a LOT of things that are more difficult than they were before. Social media, competitiveness, constant change. The one thing that people under 25 have figured out better than those before are acceptance and empathy.
Having known a few IBS/chron’s students…you’ll be fine. A bit of strategic planning and attention to detail the first few weeks (when everyone else is unstable)…it will all work out.
Don’t worry about your parents…you’re still likely to spend 1/3rd of each year there for a few more years, during which time you’ll realize how ready you are!
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Feel those feelings, those are natural feelings. You are making a big change, and its normal to be nervous. Think of times in the past you had those same feelings and what helped you move through those feelings and get beyond them. This is a big adventure and you are going to be fine.
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The good news is - today we have phones with Whats App and Facetime so you can still see your friends and family.
But you are about to go off on the most exciting, energizing, impactful time of your life. College is the best. New friends, new activities. Get involved.
People get homesick - but you can get around it.
If you have a shared bathroom, get some flip flops, know when the less in demand times are, and be proud of who you are. You belong just like anyone else. There’s no reason to feel any less.
Should you start to feel a bit off while there, there are a lot of mental health services. Take advantage. it’s important and can help you stay in focus.
You’ve got this…it’s all mindset. With the communication methods of today, going to college is a lot easier than 30 years ago - in regards to staying connected.
good luck.
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Make an appointment at the counseling center when you get to campus.
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Zoom helps a lot, and Facetime.
Your feelings are normal. But know that you are not trapped. Think of this as just trying something out. And expect adjustment to take awhile. Some kids are still homesick at the holiday break but happy by spring. If you are still feeling this way then, you can go to school closer to home.
Three hours isn’t too far but it can feel that way. You can definitely be closer to home via transfer, but give this school a chance. Your feelings are very very common.
It helps if you know your parents are okay.
Have you registered with the disabilities office? You can get accommodations. No penalty if you are late for class or miss class, a single room with private bath and so on.
Talk to your parents. And remember you aren’t falling off a cliff. Many young people return home or close to home after graduating, and you have breaks and summers too.
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Hi, I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling sad and scared. It’s great that you posted here to get some advice and support!
I recommend making an appointment at the student health center (health clinic/campus health services). They have undoubtedly worked with many other students with IBS/IBD and can offer you information, support, and care as needed. I also echo @Hippobirdy 's recommendation regarding accommodations; take time to learn about all of the supports available to you and see which ones might be helpful. The health center could likely assist if any formal documentation of your health condition is needed.
To the best that you can, take it one day at a time. You might find that your worries diminish as you get familiar with your new space and community. You’re also likely to have a lot of positive experiences in those first days and weeks, which could have a big impact on your mood and feelings related to being away from family.
Talk with your parents about how you’re feeling and ask them about how they’re feeling. Maybe you can plan some special activities to do over the next week, and plan out parents’ weekend or other time they could visit you in the next month or two.
Take care!
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Lol, I have that
S19 has Ulcerative Colitis which may have some similarities. He is also on the spectrum. He is used to his own bathroom. He went to a college about 3 hours away as well. We were able to get him accommodations to be assigned a double room in the Living Learning Community that he wanted to be in and not have an assigned roommate. The LLC only had doubles. He managed to live in a traditional hall with a community bathroom situation. I sent a generic version of “poopouri”, but he never used it. He also had to have infusions every 8 weeks with medicine that compromised his immune sytem. He made it through his freshman year (returning home early because of covid situation) and stayed home all last year since his classes would have been online. He is ready to go back this year even if classes are online. I just wanted to let you know of a success story and hope it helps. I was glad that he received accommodations through the disabilities office.
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What do you mean by strategic planning and attention to detail? Pay attention to what specifically
I am not trying to make light of your situation and the emotions and fears you are feeling are very normal and justified. With change always comes some fear but also opportunity. Take advantage of all of the opportunities that are about to present themselves to you, hopefully make a good friend or two quickly and if it becomes rough hang in there and try and get some help.
Now in terms of your IBS I know the illness part can be rough but the sense of embarrassment just as challenging particularly for a young person. So here is some insight from and old guy.
Everyone poops and everyone’s poop stinks. Sometimes people have to poop more frequently than other times and sometimes some peoples poops stink worse then at other times. When living together it is ill advised for anyone to judge or make fun because invariably their day will come. Whether the Wednesday after Taco Tuesdays or the “I knew gas station sushi was a bad idea” aftermath, everyone has that moment. In the unlikely circumstance someone says something make light of it and be self deprecating because really who cares about crap.
A big difference between HS and college is living with people. You will quickly realize everyone has “blemishes”, “quirks” or “peculiarities”. Your personal journey will allow you to have empathy and patience and be a good friend. Good luck!
So my having to type this makes me question the sincerity of the post, because the folks I know who deal with this issue wouldn’t wonder for a second what I meant about planning and paying attention to details…it’s a daily process for them. That said…
You will get a sense of when others are around, when they tend to use the showers/bathroom. Where there are bathrooms on campus, and which of those are in less popular spots. Classroom buildings at night vs. the library vs. the dorm, and where you might want to study for some added privacy. What to eat and what to avoid in the dining hall, and when to eat with regard to your classes. Once you settle into a rhythm, things will be just fine.
@EyeVeee puts it well. I can tell you from personal experience (as I suffer from a similar disease), it’s about “finding a rhythm” and getting comfortable with your surroundings. Those without this specific issue likely don’t realize it’s as much a mental (how you handle it) challenge as physical and there are days you want to be off the grid to take care of yourself.
Try to eat well (healthy) and get rest. You can still have tons of fun and won’t be missing out if you get to bed at a decent hour. Your body will be your best judge as you know what you need to feel well.
You’ve already learned how to deal with this. You’ll adjust just fine. Don’t worry as that actually causes a chain reaction setting your issue in motion.
I’ll also let you know, having spent most of college and my entire adult life with a similar issue, you can have a very full and satisfying life. Just know your limitations and try to be calm. That really helps.
Good luck and feel well!
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It’s a daily process for me too. I’m 17 years old and I’m trying to get all the advice I possibly can, so I asked for clarification in case you were talking about something else that I may not have thought about before