<p>Yeah, but if the other kid is from a feeder school, then all else is not equal. I’m just acknowledging that in comparison to another similarly qualified public school kid, a letter of rec could make the difference. I’m okay. I just want my kid’s app to be as strong as possible, and so was disappointed to see that letter.</p>
<p>I think a “cheat sheet” is okay - but I think many parents are overthinking the point. “Above average” is a good rating. I’m always suspicious of any student who is rated so highly that I can’t tell if it’s true or if it’s hyperbole. A lot of “above average” students are accepted at top schools while stellar, top flight, best in class students are turned down.</p>
<p>Instead of focusing on what the principal/school says or doesn’t say - focus on the student’s control of his or her own application. The EC’s, the essays, the interview, the grades. The school doesn’t need a “cheat sheet” to reinforce things that are already in other parts of the application. If anything, it becomes a bit redundant.</p>
<p>Trust me, I interview students for my alma mater and am an ambassador for my daughter’s. I also remember the BS application process when all my experience flew out the window because the process became so close and personal and my husband and I started stressing on every nuance of the process. But in the heat of the moment, common sense prevailed. Getting a laundry list of praise facts from a school isn’t as important as the teacher recommendations - people who see the student every day.</p>
<p>Honestly - relax and don’t overthink this or you may overthink your child toward a rejection in an applicant pool where Adcoms are looking for a lot of things that you can’t guess about, aren’t reflected in stats and that you have no control over. Most schools aren’t looking for perfect students, they’re looking for hardworking interesting ones.</p>
<p>And let me repeat “ABOVE AVERAGE” is not a bland recommendation. Let it go. It’s fine. It might even help because it will seem like the school administration isn’t exaggerating to help the student which happens more often than you think.</p>
<p>Well, thank you, the point about hyperbole is a good one, and something I’ve wondered about. It probably doesn’t help if the kid is made to sound infallible. I still think the cheat sheet idea is a good one, though, but perhaps not of it’s laundry list. </p>
<p>I think I’m over the fact that he called her “above average” rather than “outstanding” (which I, as an adoring parent of my saintly child, think is entirely accurate :o)). It isn’t really mention of academic credentials or EC’s that would have helped, now that I think about it, since those are well documented elsewhere on the app. With our principal, I was thinking it would have been really nice for him to mention something about her character, maturity, and ability to take responsibility in unusual circumstances. There have been specific examples of this throughout her years at this school, and only the principal knows about them. Her current teachers have known her for only a few months and I’m sure do not mention those things in their letters. They are things I mentioned on the parent portion of the app, and which come out to some extent in some of my kid’s responses to short answers and essays. But it would have been REALLY nice for someone outside the family to corroborate it.</p>
<p>So if I had to do it again, I would not give him a laundry list of accolades, but perhaps a cheat sheet reminding him of those specific examples relating to character, with a request that he mention that. We have a pretty good relationship with him, and I think he would have done it, but probably just didn’t think of it, in his haste.</p>
<p>Hardworking, above average students tend to weather the transition better (which is quite rough even for bright kids) than outstanding, perfect, never had a flaw students. </p>
<p>Which is why I say that schools are looking for attributes they parents can’t guess at. They know what types of students fit in well and add to the culture (academic/social). The schools don’t expect principals to know the students to the level the staff does.</p>
<p>And yes - our children are “perfect.” There is no doubting that. lol! (but this is about strategy right?)</p>