improving my score (essay)?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>hey guys i took the sat test on october and my essay score was 6/12 i would rlly appreciate it if u guys could give me some help or a little bit of advice so i can improve my essay score to at least 9/12 plz :D</p>

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<p>ESSAY PROMPT</p>

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment:</p>

<pre><code> Some people say that we are a "leisure society," that we devote ourselves to relaxation and entertainment. But nothing of any value--in business, in culture, in politics, in art, or in any other field--was created without struggle. Struggle is a fact of life but not necessarily an unpleasant fact. We can get more fulfillment from struggling for a good cause than from living a life of fun. Struggle is better than fun. Adapted from Richard Nixon, In the Arena
</code></pre>

<p>ASSIGNMENT:
Do people get more out of life by struggling toward a goal or for a cause than by pursuing a life free from struggle? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>

<p>THE ESSAY:</p>

<pre><code> People struggle everyday towards a different goal or cause, but what motivates them is the need to succeed in life, because without successing in life a person considers himself or herself a nobody.

From my point of view i think struggling is one of the most important reasons that are keeping our world alive today, without it the world wouldn't have improved, but because people struggle all the way through their lives, the world has improved, the way people live changed, and the intelligence of out societies has reached a level we thought unreachable.

Bill Gates is one famous example, his life was meaningless before he became one of Microsoft's CEO's, however, he didn't reach that goal by pursing life free from struggle, all the way to the top, how would the world be without this man, am sure it will be completely different although he is one single person...

In conclusion, i think struggling is one of the most important reasons that's keeping out human race alive, and of course people get more out of life by struggling, however what get out of life depends on how bad you want it, and what you are struggling toward.
</code></pre>

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<p>guys i kno this is a rlly crappy essay but it was my first time doin the sat and english is not my first language so it would be rlly nice of u if u could help me out :D</p>

2

<p>Do they get more out of life? Yes because they learn how appreciate it more? If its given to you then it has no value since you can just get another. But if you have to work so hard and give blood then you appreciate it more--</p>

<p>if you appreciate it more then you value your achievement more and will work harder to keep it </p>

<p>You can use abraham lincoln took him eight times to become president. 17 years to pay off his failed business'</p>

<p>or your parents to show that there sacrifice and hard work paid off.</p>

<p>and yourself to show what a struggle it has been--for me its been a major struggle. drugs, criminal record, welfare, digging ditches, living on 500 bucks a month and having to pay 400 bucks rent, university ed, paying off loans, saving money again, having to go back to highschool and do my classes again. Are these struggle insignificant ? No way. I work harder than before and dont take anything for granted. Because i know how lucky it is too have a second chance and i know what the bottom is like.</p>

<p>you can use bill gates but he got lucky. Computer were on the horizon. Someone made a box but didnt have instructions to make it work so gates lied and said he had the code. he didn't have anything.They quickly made up Basic instructional language but it didnt work since. So he asked someone at MIT to do floating point instruction things(brainy stuff). They did and it worked. But the IBM found that code too limiting so bill gates went back to the drawing board and came up with Ms-dos--in some half state. He fixed it a bunch of times and dos took off. Then, he did windows....</p>

<p>just struggling is neccissary so we can value stuff.</p>

3

<p>make it a little longer next time, and your score should improve.</p>