<p>Saddad it really looks like you have some done great research.</p>
<p>however I believe the 10-10:30 quiet time at SPS just will not happen. Generally I feel the whole dorm goes to sleep around the same time freshmen through seniors. It seems the dorm quiets down between 12:30 and 1. With most kids going to bed between 1 and 2 every night. In my dorm atleast. Now as excruciating as this sounds, it is completely the students choice. If a student really wanted to go to bed at 10 they easily good. Its just most kids want to have a life. And having a life at sps means you have to sacrafice some things. sleep being first.</p>
<p>One of the things I have noticed is that girls dorms go to bed considerably earlier then guys dorms. Who knows why but it happends. From my dorm you can sort of see into a girls dorm that is near it and come 12 all the girls lights are off. Or most of them atleast.</p>
<p>Now, it is also not to say that there are no kids that go to bed earlier. There are two or three guys in my dorm that go to bed every night at 11. They get great grades, and they seem to have no problem socializing. Its all about how you want to live your life at sps</p>
<p>From what I know the post above seems to exaggerate the situation a bit. Most people I know go to bed around 12, including boys. In a previous year new students were going to bed at 1 or 2, and the entire form in my dorm was made to stay in their rooms after dinner so that they would get their work done and go to bed on time. Every year I've gone to bed a bit later and latter. It's also not possible to function well if you go to bed between 1 and 2 every night.. I really don't think it happens much.</p>
<p>Thanks for the interesting note, especially about the sleep hour observations between DA and SPS. I could imagine that my D is having SPS kind of hours right now, :-(. She has too many sports and other activities commitments... HW ranks last. Guess that she will benefit more from the structured DA arrangement and get more sleep. I kind of think that it's better to have a Singles in her first year. Most kids have their own rooms all their lives. It's an overwhelming adjustment for them already to get used to BS life all of a sudden. Now, on top of that, if one has a roommate, who sleeps earlier or later, does make things more complex. And calling home, cry or laugh, she can freely express herself anytime (is phone allowed?) Even in Singles, for social, they can still visit other girl's room when need to.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I think that your leaning towards Groton seems a great choice, too. We like their Chapel program, although 4 mornings a week seems like a lot. I wish DA had some (or more) spiritual reflections time (not necessarily religious) to more complement the development of the kids. Maybe they have something that I don't know yet.</p>
<p>Has she decided yet? It is too bad that you cannot do the revisits because they are the best way to get a feel for the school and make the decision. Is your daughter already away? If not, did any school offer an alternative to visit the school or meet current students? You should ask. All 3 schools are at the same, very challenging, academic level and offer many opportunities beyond academics. </p>
<p>Groton starts in 8th grade, so some students will be in their 3rd year at the school, while your daughter is one of only a few starting in 10th grade. With Deerfield and SPS (where I am a parent) as options, I would not choose Groton for starting in 10th grade. </p>
<p>Sleep does seem to get talked about a lot at SPS, but I don't know that the students get any less than students elsewhere. In reality, lights out are not always enforced and when they are kids learn to get up early to compensate. The kids I know with the worst sleep habits are in day schools, living with Mom and Dad.</p>
<p>The above poster makes it seem as though the origanal 8th graders are a big group, then the new ninth graders, then the new tenth graders. This is not the case. From the moment 9th grade starts the eighth graders become best friends with the new ninth graders and so on in to tenth graders. My best friends are an eigth grader from 4 years ago and a new 10th grader from last year!</p>
<p>The kids who have already been there want to get to know the new kids more than they want to socialize with their old friends a lot even!</p>
<p>You have three wonderful, different, choices and I am interesting in hearing what school you pick!</p>
<p>80% of boarders at DA have single rooms. I visited the campus and thought the dorms were very much like the others at other schools. The only negative was that the common area smelled really bad! heehee</p>
<p>Regarding sleep hours on the weekends at DA... you are definitely onto something here... Saturday classes "shorten" the weekend, which is a good thing in many ways (didn't really realize this until I saw it first hand)- and although the kids are in their dorms, they are hardly always sleeping... my son felt that dealing with dorm distractions is the way in which he is best prepared for college. I will tell you that he loved the distractions, but it was a world unto itself... but I don't think there was a lot of rest going on. Girls dorms are probably quieter then the boys dorms. Also, the fantasy of the kids "heading home" on the weekends, becomes less of a reality because there is so much going on at school, sports, activities.. they are busy at school, and they become very close with their classmates. The sports thing is true at DA, but there is a ton of school spirit... and it's a big activity that the schools attends- and there are lots of fun things like dorm stick ball tournaments and friday night hockey (for those not on the teams)- which fall into the "casual sports" category. Finally, almost everyone in the school has a single until senior year (some have room mates) but they do get very close with their hallmates, and I think it is a very good thing. The sophmores and juniors seemed to integrate really well according to my son...</p>
<p>Just another perspective on the one I know.</p>
<p>I think DA is a good choice. Groton is good as well. I do not like their dorm.
SPS dorm is very nice, too. Unfortunately, I am waitlisted on DA and Groton.
If I had a choice, i would go to DA.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your input and advice, opinions... appreciate it!</p>
<p>My D is still overseas. Too bad that she can't make it to the revisits - neither can we.</p>
<p>Before she left, she was a bit leaning towards DA. The bottom line is that this is her decision. I'll try to stay away from influencing her one way or another, but I can do some neutral data gathering... in the mean time. All three are great schools, among these, Groton people seem to be especially kind and caring. Sometimes, one kind of wish there were only one choice... but that's like 'ad com' made the decision for you! Still, having options is better. She is totally justified in taking her time to sort all the details out.</p>
<p>As a parent, all I care about is that she'll have a great time in her choice of schools socially and academically. And academically, any of the top 30 or so schools will be challenging enough. The admission process itself will ensure that her peers will be quite similar. </p>
<p>Then, should the rest of the decisions be focused on little things that may add up and turn into large" things later?
FOR EXAMPLE, given some of my own bad experiences with some of the assigned roommate(s) in colleges regarding to sleeping hours/personalities/etc., I am a bit leery about the 1st year roommate assignment by the BS. Later on, if paired by knowing who you are getting, it will be a totally different situation. All these 3 BS have huge endowment, but somehow, SPS and Groton seemed to have more Doubles, especially Groton. The ideal of making rich & privileged boys go through some Spartan hardship and learn to live with others were great 100 or even 50 years ago, when most graduates could go to the Ivies of his choice/pick, and when academic stress was a fraction of what it is today. Granted, this does teach kids hard lessons in life, but it seems to be a little less relevant today. Kids didnt have to study till 1 am didnt have to endure so much academic pressure back then. They do need enough rest or minimum sleeping hours nowadays. I rather she go to bed when she herself feels like it, not when her roommate is ready also... This is one thing I dont understand why many of these traditional schools do not do more as DA does to give kids more space, more privacy, in Singles. Most of these schools can all afford it, and most of them do charge $40K tuition which actually only covers 50 to 70% of the total education & living cost of each student.</p>
<p>Just a plug for roomates--I think it really depends on your d's personality and if she is very outgoing and will make tons of friends anyway, a roommate might be a distraction. And kids today are obviously so much more connected that the possibility of feeling a little isolated is less of an issue. However, I went to a BS ( a looong time ago) and my first year roommate was someone I would never have gotten to know well without rooming with her, but she is still one of my closest friends to this day. At that time there were a lot of these "odd couple" pairings that really stuck. Living with someone day in day out allows you to know them in a way you rarely know anyone, and while this can obviously have drawbacks, on balance I think it is a healthy stretch for many teens.</p>
<p>interestedmom5 -
Good point! It certainly is also part of the valuable boarding school experiences. I bet most of the roommate arrangement work out fine. D is looking forward to this part of "growing up" quite eagerly.</p>
<p>My daughter's roommate is from Taiwan. It's been a great relationship--they don't necessarily hang out with each other during the day, but catch up at night, talking about classes, friends, etc.. My daughter has learned quite a few Chinese phrases and hopes to visit her roommate in Taiwan some day.</p>