Need advice...

Parents Forum Learning Differences and Challenges - LD, ADHD
1

<p>I'm pretty sure I have some learning disability such as ADHD, because my study/sleep/concentration habits are SO chronically bad that they're affecting my ability to be healthy and do homework on time, get good grades, etc. and it's just been a pretty miserable school year thusfar. I can't go to sleep before 4am most days and I end up sleep deprived, I have SEVERE problems getting myself to do my homework until after midnight (and even when I do do it, I can't get myself focused on it and get distracted the whole time and never end up finishing it). I can never listen in class at all or pay attention for long periods of time and I always feel like fidgeting/moving around. People have been telling me that I change topics in conversation so rapidly without even finishing off one topic. I'm really bad at organization. I take an unnecessarily long time on tests (math, especially) and sometimes don't even get halfway through them. Also this year, I've just completely lost all motivation to do my schoolwork well. In fact, the only things I can concentrate on are things I'm passionate about and find really interesting, but even things like that lose me after a while.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty certain that at least some of these are symptoms of ADHD, right? The only thing is, these symptoms just started showing up (so severely) in 2nd semester of sophomore year. Before then, and especially when I was younger, I was a very conscientious student who always got her homework done on time and never got distracted.</p>

<p>The problem is, my parents think ADHD is some huge BS joke. If I asked them if I could see a doctor for a diagnosis, they'd probably flip out and threaten to cut off my health insurance or something. It's not worth trying to convince them anything because they won't even hear me out, and they're so into their heads that they won't listen to ANYONE who tells them otherwise, even if it's a a professional doctor or a guidance counselor.</p>

<p>Is there any way I could go see a doctor who specializes in this without my parents finding out, and getting a diagnosis without them finding out either? </p>

<p>I don't want to sound as if I'm looking for an excuse, but I'm basically bombing first semester of junior year and if I really do have some sort of learning challenge, I want to explain to colleges that that's what factored into the bad grades.<br>
It's really affecting me and I want to get some sort of help before I continue to have such unhealthy habits into college and keep getting awful grades, doing away with my chances at good colleges. I'm definitely capable of doing work in rigorous classes if I manage my time and stop getting distracted (in fact, I would find them easy), but due to my habits, I completely slack off, ruin my health with sleep deprivation, stress myself out with procrastination, and more.</p>

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<p>It sounds as if you’ve hit the nail on the head in terms of needing to see a doctor. I think that before you try to get into a specialist, you’d be wise to see your regular doctor for a complete examination. As a 16 or 17 year old, it wouldn’t be uncommon for you to go into the doctor’s examination room on your own, without your parents present, and you would be able to share your concerns with the doctor. </p>

<p>In talking with your parents about making the appointment, you wouldn’t have to frame it as something you’re doing because you think you have ADD. Your sleep problems alone would be enough to get you in there. Also, teenages routinely have medical check-ups – when are you due for your next one?</p>

<p>Before you go to your appointment, it might be wise for you to write down all of your different symptoms in a list. Something like,</p>

<p>1.) Trouble falling asleep. X nights a week I fall asleep after Y o’clock. (Then be sure to let the doctor know if you have trouble staying asleep, or if you wake up early in the morning and can’t fall back to sleep.) This started around XYZ date.</p>

<p>2.) Hard to concentrate in school. (Brief explanation of what this is like for you.)</p>

<p>3.) Friends tell me I jump from subject to subject in conversation.</p>

<p>4.) Most of the time, I can only get throught the first half (or whatever percentage) of math tests, even though I understand the math.</p>

<p>5.) Organization problems, such as…</p>

<p>Make a copy for yourself and give a copy to the doctor. </p>

<p>Please don’t worry ahead of time what your parents will do when the doctor gives a diagnosis or makes a referral. Many pediatricians have dealt with parents with attitudes like your parents, and hopefully, the doctor will be very skilled at explaining what you need in a way they will understand and accept. (Be sure you share your concerns about your parents’ beliefs with the doctor after he or she has had a chance to examine you and see your list of symptoms.) If the doctor wants to make a referral to a specialist, it wouldn’t have to be framed as looking to diagnose you with ADD (if, in fact, that’s what the doctor thinks is going on) but to get a better understanding of your symptoms.</p>

<p>It is really hard to know what a correct diagnosis would be with info on the internet. What is clear is that you are having some problems that are making it difficult for you to succeed in high school and that there is help out there for those problems. Going to see your regular doctor will be a good first step toward getting that help.</p>

<p>Please see if you can get into your doctor for a “check-up” asap, and see what happens when you take that first step.</p>

3

<p>^Thank you so much, Anonymom! That was really helpful. I’ll definitely try to ask my parents if I can see the doctor for “something I’m worried about” so I can get them to set up an appointment for me. </p>

<p>This was just one thing that jumped out at me from your post, but I actually don’t understand the math on math tests, which is why I can’t get halfway through them. I am having horrible trouble with math this year, Honors Precalculus, and I’m wondering if this is related in any way to ADHD. With the little amount of effort/procrastination I’ve been putting myself through this school year, I’m still doing pretty well, albeit worse than usual, in most of my classes including the few AP classes I’m taking.<br>
However, math has never been my strong subject, but I’ve always taken Honors math classes in high school and had no trouble making As and Bs until 2nd semester sophomore year, when I started to experience trouble in math. This year, I’m having trouble keeping up a D in that class. Right now I’m close to failing and I’m struggling to keep up with it. It’s not that I’m not studying or doing homework; in fact, I’ve been studying for every test/quiz and doing my homework every day yet I still find myself failing (as well as I can with my horrible study habits). It seems like I just can’t get my head around the concepts, no matter how much extra help I get either. Math has just frankly been ruining my life this year, and I’ve frustratedly cried over it because it seems like there’s nothing I can do to understand it or pass. For example, I just got a 53% on my latest test after studying intensively for 5 hours the day before, and I got a zero on my latest quiz. I think my inability to do well in math has somewhat to do with having an unsupportive teacher. I know I shouldn’t blame my grade on my teacher, but he just doesn’t help out at all. Additionally, math is one of the few classes I actually have to listen in to understand the subject material. I cannot for the life of my focus in class; my brain literally will not discipline itself to pay attention. In my other classes I find it easy to zone out/daydream/doodle while the teacher is lecturing, and still get As on tests and quizzes and other assignments.</p>

<p>So, I wasn’t sure if that is related at all, but I just wanted to put that out there in case there’s anything you can say about it…</p>

4

<p>So glad you’re going to get to your doctor, SQ.</p>

<p>It sounds as if you’ve got several things going on with math. First, it’s not your strongest area, which might have nothing whatsoever to do with LD’s – hard to know until you’re formally evaluated. Second, you’re taking an honors level pre-calc class, presumably with students who are very good in math and moving through the material at an accellerated pace. Third, you’re not able to focus well in class, so you’re not learning the material as it’s being taught. Fourth, you’re having trouble studying on your own because of problems with focus and attention, which would put you in a one down position even if you were learning to the max in class, and which leaves you in an almost impossible position given that you’re having to teach yourself pre-calc.</p>

<p>From what you’re saying, it sounds as if you might be failing the class; studying for the class is taking time away from your other work, not to mention “ruining [your] life.” A new semester has just started. Can you talk with your GC about the possibility of dropping down either to regular level pre-calc or even to a lower level class that would put you into AP Stats rather than AP Calc the following year? Doing well in a non-honors math class is going to give you a much stronger transcript than failing a more challenging class. Also, this will tremendously reduce your anxiety, which could conceivably be playing a role in the other issues you’ve described. You do not need honors pre-calc on your transcript to attend a top flight college. And it may be that once you’ve addressed the underlying problem with your doctor and are working more successfully in a less pressured math class, you’ll be ready for Calc in the fall.</p>

<p>Second, and very important, can your family afford a tutor, preferably someone familiar with your school’s curriculum? A tutor will go at your speed and hopefully will be able to teach you the math you are not getting from your teacher. (Even if you are able to drop down, which I hope will be an option, a tutor will be able to get you caught up, ease the transition, and answer all of your questions one on one.) If there is a financial issue, maybe you could get a regular babysitting job or work a bit on the weekends and contribute your earnings toward the tutor, showing your parents how serious you are about this and sharing the burden.</p>

5

<p>You can do it! All you need to do is raise enough money to pay for your diagnostic testing.</p>

6

<p>I believe the diagnosis of ADHD requires some symptoms to have started before age 7.
Sleep deprivation can cause lack of attention, inefficiency and other symptoms. And many different things can cause sleep problems. I agree seeing a doctor would be a good idea. Also try to go to sleep before midnight so you get enough sleep; here’s a link on sleep hygiene that you might find usefulhttp://<a href=“Sleep Disorders | University of Maryland Children's Hospital”>www.umm.edu/sleep/sleep_hyg.htm</a> Exercising so you’re physically tired may help you get to sleep earlier and also help your concentration.</p>

7

<p>sqdwfe13 -</p>

<p>You also need to discuss these issues with your guidance counselor. You may be able to get some preliminary evaluations done with the school psychologist before your parents have to enter the picture. In any case, your counselor and the school psychologist deal with all kinds of parents every day of the year. They’ve dealt with parents much worse than yours.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best.</p>

8

<p>FYI: Many students in high school and beyond are diagnosed with ADHD. There is no rule that says you have to exhibited symptoms as a young child. Many gifted and smart kids do not show symptoms of ADHD until high school or college. The OP needs to be evaluated, starting with her general doctor to rule out physical illnesses that may cause ADHD-like symptoms. An evaluation for ADHD or other learning disabilities takes anywhere from 12 - 15 hours and most psychologists charge from $100.00-200.00 an hour so the OP will likely need her parents help. Lastly, many of the symptoms listed by the OP could be caused by depression so I advise seeing a physician as soon as possible. The good news is that no matter the cause, there is treatment available that can alleviate the OP’s symptoms and help her get back on track. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Thank you so much, everyone!</p>

<p>@hidingout: Yeah, I brought up the issue with my guidance counselor a couple of months ago just on a whim, and she looked through all of my report cards from elementary school (they’re on all file). All of my teacher evaluations said that I was a quiet, obedient, hardworking kid who always listened in class. And it’s true that when I was in elementary school, I didn’t have these types of problems. That’s why my counselor doubted the possibility that I might have ADHD.</p>

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<p>Hiding out wrote "FYI: Many students in high school and beyond are diagnosed with ADHD. There is no rule that says you have to exhibited symptoms as a young child. Many gifted and smart kids do not show symptoms of ADHD until high school or college. " </p>

<p>It is true that many people are diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood and that difficulties in school may present in college but there IS a rule that some symptoms need to be present before age 7 years.</p>

<p>The diagnostic criteria for ADHD say “(B) Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms that caused impairment were present before age 7 years.” Please see the DSM diagnostic criteria for ADHD.</p>

<p>It’s best to be evaluated by a professional.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>[PBS</a> - frontline: medicating kids: adhd: the diagnostic criteria](<a href=“http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/medicating/adhd/diagnostic.html]PBS”>http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/medicating/adhd/diagnostic.html)</p>

<p>DSM Diagnostic Criteria for ADHD
(A) Either (1) or (2):</p>

<p>(1) six (or more) of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level;</p>

<p>often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities
often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities
often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions)
often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework)
often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)
is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli
is often forgetful in daily activities</p>

<p>(2) six (or more) of the following symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:</p>

<p>often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat
often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected
often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness)
often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly
is often “on the go” or often acts as if “driven by a motor”
often talks excessively</p>

<p>often blurts out answers before questions have been completed
often has difficulty awaiting turn
often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games)</p>

<p>(B) Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms that caused impairment were present before age 7 years.</p>

<p>(C) Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g., at school [or work] and at home).</p>

<p>(D) There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.</p>

<p>(E) The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of a Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Schizophrenia, or other Psychotic Disorder and are not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., Mood Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Dissociative Disorder, or Personality Disorder).</p>

11

<p>I don’t mean to be an alamist, but the sleep thing made me think of bipolar, which has similar educational difficulties to AD/HD when untreated. The speech thing too, changing topics, talking fast - that is known as pressured speech. Neither of these things are predominantly AD/HD symptoms, they are bipolar symptoms though. It’s important to get that sorted because medications for AD/HD can make bipolar worse.

Bipolar Disorder or ADHD? How to Tell the Difference
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<p>Also the problems with math -

[Mathematics</a> Deficits in Adolescents With Bipolar I Disorder – Lagace et al. 160 (1): 100 – Am J Psychiatry](<a href=“Psychiatry Online”>Psychiatry Online)</p>

<p>If you feel like you can’t talk to your parents, please, please, please, talk to your guidance counselor.</p>