In the life of a CC user (make fun of the typ. CC user story thread)

Pre-College Topics High School Life
21

<p>After a long, good night’s sleep (2 hours), I woke up again feeling rest and set out for my new internship at the Hague. Like most kids starting their 9435849th prestigious mentorship, I was pretty nervous. Luckily, I got out that energy when I was flying to the Netherlands. That’s right, I’m so smart I can fly. Anyways, when I got there I was immediately promoted from lowly intern to President and given representation the 191 of the world’s nations. Screw you, Bhutan. Within two seconds, I caught Osama Bin Laden and started trial. Additionally, I brought Hitler back to life. up next. After that I might get to Omar al-Bashir…</p>

<p>Despite all this, I have a 3.999999 GPA, can I get into my local CC?</p>

22

<p>But to be brought back to earth I remembered I was still only in the second grade, despite my IQ being higher than the teachers. As well as my knowledge of the sciences, arts, mathematics, and history, they told me next year I will be allowed to teach the second grade, but I still insisted I would rather graduate from the second grade, plus, why would I want to share my knowledge with a bunch of snot nosed kids? I am far too superior for that.</p>

<p>After FINALLY graduating from the second grade I invested in some stocks, having studied them profusely for the past two years, I am the proud owner of multi-million dollar stocks. With the money I opened up my own buisness, selling all the newest gadgets and my inventions. My success was so great i was told to write a book: Success is just a cookie away, inspired of course by my dearest mommy, the one I still sleep next to at night. The book was, of course, a global success and I am proud to say I am now more rich the Bill Gates. Infact he is now begging me for a loan after all his money was lost investing in a fake stock I told him to invest in to double is money, I crashed it by tapping into Wall street.</p>

<p>Unlike Bill gates I spent my money on things that will help the world!!! I gave clean water to ALL of africa and had enough money to hire some teachers to teach for free in africa ($87 an hour) Suprisingly I have more money than america has (in debt of course), still. After creating vaccines for every known disease, virus, cancer and aids, the world was, for now, and much sounder place. I talked the government into lowering the age specifications to become president, and was elected through the electoral college 128338183 votes to 1, for the other guy. But I told him not to feel bad, one is better than none…
Are my EC’s good enough to get into Harvard yet?!?</p>

23

<p>^^ HAHAHAHAH. I’m trying so hard not to die of laughter. So good.</p>

24

<p>No really? Should I spend a little more time solving world hunger? Or should I devert more attention onto the government? Perhaps I should just graduate the third grade? Oh, my teacher has recommended I skip the rest of my schooling, and star college, is it too early? Do you think if I apply now they will accept me? (I am 1/8th mexican! Diversity?!?)</p>

<p>Care to chance me. 36 composite, 2400 SAT and 200+ (unreadable) IQ.
My EC’s are above. I am Simply amazing, right, right?!? PLEASE I know I am awesome, but I am fishing for compliments!!! I need this!!! (lol)</p>

<p>OH yes. My GPA a 5.0 (I self studied 15 AP classes on top of the 8 I was taking… in third grade I figure at this rate I will have 179 AP’s by the time I grauate high school, is that enough?!?)</p>

25

<p>So.
I’m God.
CHANCE ME FOR HYPS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!</p>

26

<p>And so prom night rolled around, I figured I was to intelligent to attend such and idiotic gathering. I stayed home on a saturday, while reviewing for the multitude of AP exams I was to take in a few weeks, I realized that the Barrons and Princeton Review books had two type-o! I called them up immediately complaining of such an ostrocity! Soon after I continued on studying from my own notes of course, which are more accurate. After that I began finishing homework for the 7 online college courses I took for fun. It was 3 in the morning and since I aready discovered the cure for AIDS I figured I’d text/call some of my friends to tell them about my day. I opened up my phonebook and saw my contacts: Dad, Mom. Oh the one thing I always tend to forget, I have no real friends, everyone is inferior to me. I then spent the rest of the evening ■■■■■■■■ on CC and replying to chance threads. I went to bed quite early, 6 am, I had a peaceful 1 hour of sleep before waking up and starting my day a new!</p>

<p>Whoa… That was fun to write! Excellent thread!</p>

27

<p>^That was hilarious smilemyonly.</p>

28

<p>I got onto talk.collegeconfidential.com. 16 hours later I logged off and went to sleep</p>

29

<p>Ahh, the start of summer vacation! Now I can get a head start on my college applications! I’ve signed up for a 2 week Habitat for Humanity trip, and I plan to self-study everything that I will cover next year so that my GPA will remain godlike. I will then take a 3-week hiatus and basically lock my self in my room and play WOW. Then I will converse with my father, who is god, and laugh at you puny mortals.</p>

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<p>This of course, will only take 6 weeks.</p>

31

<p>The world’s smartest 7 year old and OG of CC will now tell PART 2 of my incrdibel life story.</p>

<p>So, after Microsoft wen under, I decided to use my numerous billions to acquire 90% of Microsoft stock, then launched a new XBox 1440. To no surprise, Microsoft stock cost $3000 per share the next day. did I mentoin I bought each share for only $0.50, oh I didn’t? Perhaps I should call UPenn’s president back to teach at Wahrton next year. it’s no big deal because Philly is actually a bit gross compared to my other favorite school, my own univesity, you may have heard of it (SmartAS Suniversity). It has quite the unique name, and I am expecting 30,000 applications next year. BTW, only 1% will be accepted, so you better impress my with those essays. I am the selection commitee, and I read 100 pages a minute, so I’m up to the task. </p>

<p>Back to what happened today. So, I was playing tetherball in my Stride Rite sneakers with my Polo sweater vest over my Lacost Pima Polo shirt. I thoughthat I looked fantabulous, if I may so so, especially with my yellow Spongebob sunglasses. I then came inside to drink my favorite juice, glava with a hint of coconut. It is actually proven to kill brain cells, that way I actually meet some friends. Usually, Alex Trebek and Ben stein are my best buds. </p>

<p>So, Kanye West was in my living room to talk to me about a budding music career. He was very impressed with the 5 Grammys I won with my last album, which was just released last week. It’s now on pace to sell 40 million records by the end of tomorrow. He said that if I partnered with him, I could be something great, even a rap legend. I then asked my mother to bring out same fish sticks, so I could see if Kanye was sincere. He ate the fishs ticks in 5 seconds flat, which angered me. I’m only 7 remember (although I own all of you), so I called him a g** fish. He then tried to freestyle-murder me, but told him that my very new album has outdone his entire career in a matter of days. </p>

<p>I then told the gold digger to leave because I don’t want him countin’ my money right because I live the good life, and I’m stronger than him. I told him to I’ll knock him down because I’m the real American boy, and I put on great records, grades, and new products. I reached in my freezer, grabbed a pack of corn on the cob, stood on 4 phone books, and slapped him up side the head! </p>

<p>Kanye then was angered and confused, so he left. So when I won yet another ISEF award, he stormed the stage and threw a tirade how he should have won the prestigous award. He claimed that the new rims and stereo system were ground-breaking material, but I killed him in a freestyle contest. Enough said, time for my nap! Peace. :)</p>

<p>(Hope that you like PART 2).</p>

32

<p>^Hey, don’t forget Chamillinaire, he’s a lyrical beast! :]</p>

<p>My story was meant to be humorous, did you not get where it was supposed to be funny? Maybe too long this time…that’s what she said! Hahaha. Vahvry Nize! (Borat voice <em>shrug</em>).</p>

<p>^^EDIT: He claimed that the rims and stereo system ON HIS LAMBO were ground-breaking material. Enjoy! :)</p>

33

<p>Yeah, Kanye has changed a lot, I do feel bad about his mom though. :(</p>

<p>Glad YOU liked it though! :)</p>

34

<p>yes, part two was cute. what a cocky seven year old.</p>

35

<p>^Yaaaah, now your turn to make up a story. I like writing bout cocky 7 year olds, maybe I should write a short book full of this stuff lol :)</p>

36

<p>Upon entering high school the effects of my awesomeness finally set in. As a freshmen I had 79 credits from all my summer self studies. Apparently this is not normal, so I logged onto CC to flaunt my geniuses, yet I was constntly brought down by people who thought they were better! But honestly! Who is better than me?!? I am god. Self pronounced! Except I don’t walk on water, I wrote a physics book as to why this is most definitly not possible, it was my eleventh book. After largely disproving jesus, I decided to take on larger concepts… Michael Jackson. It turns out he never really existed! Because after his acciden he started regressing in age, therefore, he just backtracked grew old, then back young… therefore canceling his existance (too soon? Wasn’t too bad, lol. My reguards to his family?)</p>

<p>lalalalalala</p>

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<p>Mine was the best</p>

38

<p>^sure it was. </p>

<p>So its about four days into summer and I’ve already finished all my summer readings and assignments. I self studied for every AP exam there is, so I figured I’d just outline a curriculum for some I’ve made up. Like AP neuroscience and AP college confidential. I got 5s on all of them by the way. I hope its enough to get me into HYPMYS! Because you know I’m only applying there because of the prestige.</p>

<p>I’ve also been editing my college apps, I included 7 extra pages to list my EC’s I hope that’s enough. I was president of every club I joined. Actually I’m not evn sure I can recall the clubs I’m part of I just joined them to put them on my college app. Passion? Haha no thanks. Ill just pretend I have that. Oh yea I’ve also played on 5 varsity sports teams! Its possible because each season I ask my coaches to schedule practiices and games that revolve around, because I am God. Bow down!</p>

<p>Btw my teacher rec’s are amazing! I’m very close with my teachers. Even if I do know better than them. I always correct them because their logic is always flawed. They don’t seem to mind though, therefore they must have written amazing recs! As for my essay it was about how I looked up to my mom as a role model because she’s the only real friend I have, as my dad is an alcoholic and ohhh I hope my broken family get me an advantage. My dad is 1/32 native american btw. I was also sure to sprinkle my essay with fancy words like ‘proclamation’, ‘vie’, ‘ostentatious’ and some other synonyms for wordss like ‘funny’, ‘happy’, amazing. I just used a thesaurus and used the word I never heard of before. </p>

<p>I can’t wait for the interview portion as well. I’ve been practicing my fake british accent to sound more proper. I’ve also been practicing pronouncing difficult and obscure words to hopefully use. I’m currently on volume 4 of Oxford English Dictionary. And no, it is not the condensed one! </p>

<p>Did I mention I’m a rising sophmore? I’ve already got enough credits to graduate high school, but I’m taking classes at a local community collge anyway!</p>

<p>That was very long …</p>

39

<p>Hahaha I think smilemyonly’s is definitely dead-on xD</p>

40

<p>So it’s Prom night and I asked out my teacher’s 10 yr old daughter out so my teacher would like me more and hopefully write me a better recommendation. During prom while the other students were dancing, I pulled out my graduate school level textbook on physics (i self-studied AP Physics in 5th grade while the other morons were still learning how to add fractions) and started studying it. In 12 seconds, i finished reading it and tried applying the new concepts I learned so i can make the DJ play his music better… YES… maybe then the DJ will be able to write me a recommendation. That’ll be unique… and set me apart me apart from the other applicants!!! </p>

<p>Then, after I forced the 10 yr old girl at gunpoint to tell my teacher that she had a great time, I went home and went on the Collegeboard website to check my perfect SAT Scores. I logged in and there they were. Then, i refreshed my SAT scores screen over and over so i can relive the glorious moment of getting perfect SAT scores in every subject possible. Suddenly, I realized I’d spent 5 hours looking at my SAT scores and it was now 4:00 AM in the morning. Quickly, I pulled out my 20 AP self-studies… I only had 70 days until the AP exam and I was only 98% done with the self-studies! After 30 minutes, i finished all my self-studies and I decided to use the 2.5 hrs before school starts to do more EC’s. I wanted to look unique in my ECs (despite the fact these “unique” ECs make my life miserable and that i sacrificed all my valuable high school experience to do them. I constantly dream of doing my true passions and i cry myself to bed each night bc im so unfulfilled…i mean… woops you weren’t supposed to hear that) so I decided to learn kick-boxing! So to make my resume better, I decided to teleport (with the unique teleportation device i invented) to the ghetto and then I took out 20 gang members… YES… now my resume’ll look unique. Now that it’s almost time for school, I teleported back home and took a 1 minute nap and headed to school… <em>Sigh</em>… i have to spend another day with all the stupid morons who only got a 2390s on their SATs.</p>

<p>THE END</p>

<p>By the way, the definition of College Confidential on urbandictionary is particualrly amusing :p</p>