<p>What does owning a car have to do with what is being discussed? The overly involved parents who won’t let their children speak for themselves and/or do any of the planning is the point of this thread. No on is saying a h.s. student has to have their own car to get to an interview. Having parents constantly speak for the student and/or think they can be a stand-in for the interview are probably costing them a chance to attend that college.</p>
<p>This is absolutely ridiculous and I feel sorry for both the mom and the son. The mom for not being able to let her kid grow up by himself, the son for letting his mom control his life in this way. I for one have never involved my parents in my entire academic life - they’ve never touched a single page of admissions paperwork except to sign their name at the end of the financial aid form. College is about growing up and being independent now, parents who are still spoon feeding their children, who are approaching the age of 18, needs to let go.
And travel is the least concern - at least students should phone themselves - and have parents beside at hand to confirm transportation.</p>
<p>Sigh. Because, time, a car may not always be available to the student.</p>
<p>I think it is silly to label a parent who schedules interviews a helicopter parent. Most interviews are out of town. My D calling would have required her to miss important and enriching activities in order to be free during business hours. It also would have taken twice as long because i would have had to tell her when exactly we were available for transportation. </p>
<p>Honestly, she does not seem to have suffered any ill effects of my assistance with scheduling…she is halfway through her first year, incredibly happy, involved, including in a leadership capacity, in touch with home but not homesick, trying new things, great grades from first semester.</p>
<p>If a parent returned my call to a student, and wanted to arrange the interview, I wouldn’t do it. I would only talk to the student. The parent can be in the room while the student is on the phone with me while we make plans, the parent can drive the student to the interview – but I would never arrange it with the parent. Either put the kid on the phone, or no interview.</p>
<p>Helping with scheduling is fine. Offering to be interviewed instead of your h.s. student is TOTALLY out of line. Transportation can also be provided by a relative, neighbor or friend if they don’t have their own car. The parent might also drive their son/daughter to the interview, nothing wrong with that either.</p>
<p>One recent ivy interviewer invited me to DS’ session. I declined. At the interview, she asked where I was; my son replied that I was at work. She seemed to think my absence was unusual, and I felt slightly like I should have gone!</p>
<p>We have 2 cars. My H works on Saturdays and given the nature of his job (delivering babies), access to a car is non negotiable. My kids had various scheduled activities on weekends and I might have my own plans, too. My kids could not just agree to a commitment on the weekends that required a car without checking with me first. That’s how it goes, with 3 of us sharing the other car.</p>
<p>Dropping off guys for college interviews was the ONLY time either ever wanted to be dropped off a block away so they could show up without a 'rent. Whoever drove would detour to a nearby diner/bookstore/library with a good book.</p>
<p>If they could get there by public trans, they did so.</p>
<p>Even if my kids drove in HS, I would not want them driving to an important interview. The driving would be a distraction to focusing on the interview, and the interview would be a distraction to their driving. That would go double if one were driving to an unfamiliar location.</p>
<p>The only time an interviewer ever saw me was when S2 had an interview on campus. I waited in the lobby and the adcom came out afterwards to say hello.</p>
<p>We tended to clear whatever obstacles there were for interviews, whether it meant a parent coming home early from work or rescheduling something else on the weekend. Wanted to make it as easy as possible for the interviewer who was donating his/her free time to meet my kid.</p>
<h2>Disclaimer: Forgive me if the following post is out of place for someone my age to speak on. I don’t know how some parents here may feel about the young’uns speaking about “grown men and women” issues, hehe.</h2>
<p>I’m an HS senior and I finished up two college interviews last month for my two reach schools.</p>
<p>I found out about the interviews myself, and took it upon MYSELF to call and schedule an appointment. </p>
<p>I made them in the morning, because knowing my father, it would be way easier for him to be able to get me there and more time in the afternoon for him to get back to work or run errands, etc. </p>
<p>Organized what time I would leave the house with my father. He works in transportation, so anything involving driving into Manhattan, he (with experience) makes sure that we leave the house an hour/hour and a half early.</p>
<p>My mother, who inquired why I was wasting my time with interviews (thanks for the support, Ma), even suggested to me what I should wear for the interview. “Suggested” meaning “You WILL wear this.”</p>
<p>Also, I should point out, that for those these schools, I paid for the application fees myself. Doing the application process by MYSELF, with the help of my guidance counselour and the people here at College Confidential ;), definitely helped me gain a sense of responsibilty for getting what I want for myself finished. </p>
<p>As for the interviews, my father sat out in the lobby and waited until I was finished and the interviewer came out to speak with him. My dad’s pretty cool about the idea of that I’m growing up, and he trusts me to handle some things on my own. In shorter words, he’s happy with the way I turned out. Mom, on the other hand, -_______________-. We don’t talk about that.</p>
<p>Coming from a teenager’s view: Parents, please don’t force your children do what YOU want them to do, without getting their input. This whole “You do what I say, because I said so, because I’m your parent. That’s why!” mentality isn’t working. How do I know? Because I’ve spent 17 years of my life with that, and one of the reasons why I wish not to stay close to home for school. </p>
<p>Let them look at schools that THEY like and make decisions for themselves (of course, with some parental involvement. You are paying for it, lol). If your child really loves a school, they will take the necessary steps to make sure they get there. </p>
<p>Just my two cents. :)</p>
<p>I have to say that I totally agree that the student should do ALL the interacting with the colleges. However, I also agree that when your student leaves home at 7 a.m. and gets back home at 7 p.m. and has tons of homework and AP classes and band and academic team, that it is very PRACTICAL for the parent to help with what I call “secretarial” issues. These would NOT include writing essays, completing interviews and so forth, but would include setting a time for the interview, ordering and sending ACT scores online, requesting transcripts from the high school counselor and so forth.</p>
<p>At both of my kids’ high schools, the kids had to turn in the transcript requests directly to the registrar during specific hours not conducive to parental involvement.</p>
<p>I will admit I sat with my kids as they entered the schools where they wanted scores sent. I helped with administrivia, but while I drove to the PO, they were the ones learning to fill out the USPS return receipts/Fed Ex envelopes. We sat down together and looked at every piece of paper/form before it was submitted so that they’d know what to do when they had to do it solo.</p>
<p>Even so, the system was not perfect. S1 submitted one app that said his dad’s job was “faceless government bureaucrat.” We figure it must have made someone laugh; he got a full ride from the school.</p>
<p>I think it’s ridiculous that people are saying that the student has no time during the school day to make a phone call to merely schedule an interview. The student isn’t doing an interview over the phone - just scheduling one. This doesn’t take more than a few minutes, ever! They’re just bumming off their parents, just like they always have been. </p>
<p>I’m a little jealous because I wish I had that luxury (parents who knew/cared), and I myself indeed helped my younger sister with her college apps far more than I should’ve.</p>
<p>Therefore, I understand that everyone wants to help because the student is confused, slow, uninterested (even in just making the call), or unmotivated. But just because you want to help doesn’t mean it’s right or ethical or… ultimately good for the student 
I feel like as a general rule, the kids who got everything handed to them do worse in school. They’re the ones who lose scholarships, because they don’t care. They were sheltered all their lives, never took responsibility for their actions, and now, never intend to either.</p>
<p>Wow, static! You actually are not at all describing any of my children, for whom I perform the scheduling duties. Where we live, if your child is seen with a cell phone in school, it is confiscated. Parents must come to school to retrieve it. This would require our leaving work in order to make the one hour trip to the school during the school day, to get the phone. Our now college age daughter usually was at school until after 5, or was rushing to practice or another commitment. Trying to schedule an interview walking down a city street, on her way to the subway, is less than optimum, especially since she would need to consult my complicated schedule of when I would be available to drive her to some destination 7 hours away, since I also have two other children and a job.</p>
<p>As I said before, she is successful and happy in college so far.</p>
<p>Prior to 9/11, there was zero tolerance for carrying cell phones. Afterwards, the administration allowed it, but the kids aren’t to use the phones during the school day. </p>
<p>My kids never had a problem using a cell phone to call a college during the school day, however. They would go to the Guidance Office or the College/Career Center or the IB/magnet office during lunch and the folks there were always fine with the kids calling from there via cell or office phone. These folks knew the kids got on buses as early as 6 am and wouldn’t get home before 4 pm, and that’s excluding any ECs.</p>
<p>Some schools really have very strict policies on cell phones, and calling during lunch may not work well either. My child’s interviews were all part of trips to schools so it was more straightforward. I did do all the plane/hotel booking, working with my child to figure out when interviews could happen.</p>
<p>Yes, a good example of why it is important not to judge the actions of others. To assume everyone has the same circumstances is not very open minded.</p>
<p>My school didn’t allow cellphones either. Hence, bathroom phone calls. Or making phone calls from the main office/lobby. I highly doubt an administrative professional/receptionist would hold it against you if you say you need to make a phone call for a college interview.</p>
<p>Like I said, I WISH I had the luxury of people doing anything for me - helping schedule visits, anything, something. You’re all awesome parents. I didn’t have any parental participation, and it was a lot of work, and a lot of pathetic rounds of public transportation, awkwardness, confusion, lateness, emails, etc. But ultimately, just making a little phone call… it’s such a small detail, and if they can’t make the effort to do it, it really does say a lot.</p>
<p>I currently work at an Admissions office, and we don’t hold it against anyone, but we’re consciously aware of these parental lifelines in prospective students’ lives. I guess as background info, this is where I’m coming from when I act so frustrated over this matter.</p>
<p>When it is an alumni interview, the phone call can be made at night and on weekends. Absolutely no reason why a student can’t make that call, no matter what the cellphone policies are at his or her high school…</p>
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<p>It is my understanding that it is all but illegal to have that zero tolerance policy since Columbine. I know many schools have strict policies but banning them outright could leave the school in trouble…</p>