<p>True, fireandrain. Mine didn’t have any alum interviews. It also helped that campus interviews could often be scheduled via web pages. The students should do as much of this as possible , even when they make goofs that drive parents wild.
Cell phone use policy and reality will vary a lot. I’m thinking of lousy schools too, with lousy, overworked counselors who may not even be aware of a kid needing to make an alum interview appointment.
It’s a real ‘your mileage may vary’ situation. Again, mine had no alum interviews, but did need to deal with an overseas interview possibility. He took the initiative and dealt with the college, after I gave a reasonable travel window.
Mine submitted all the paperwork/applications on his own, save part of the overseas stuff. There he ran up against a very short deadline and a complicated procedure and a holiday weekend here that isn’t a holiday weekend there - this all resulted in having to get a signature at school (which he did) AFTER submitting two things online to get id numbers (which he did), then doing some cut and pasting of a passport picture, and sending the whole package super-express on a school day.</p>
<p>It’s also kind of creepy to be calling from a bathroom, IMHO. Additionally, if someone calls me about my schedule and I’m not in the vicinity of my laptop, I can’t answer. I don’t memorize my schedule - that’s what Outlook is for. Plus, I have to coordinate with my parents, especially since I live 20 or so miles away (boarding school) and lack a car (and since I’m not 18 yet, I can’t even get a zipcar or something like that). So when someone asks about my schedule, I usually end up having to call back later. </p>
<p>I don’t know, really, since I can make calls, as long as I’m not in class. </p>
<p>But all of my interviewers emailed, which was a lot easier, and I never even keep my parents “in the loop”, never mind having them intervene for me.</p>
<p>hops_scout, yes, unfortunately the need for emergency communications has become all too real in the past decade.</p>
<p>Most of my guys’ interview requests were via email, but if a call needed to be made, doing it in college/career office was an acceptable place to do it. YIKES on calling from a bathroom!</p>
<p>Am I the only person that schedules interviews via e-mail?</p>
<p>I don’t know why anyone would call when email is so much easier. No one is on the spot, you can check schedules, etc. </p>
<p>In my work world, no one uses the phone anymore. We email what we need and if we need to talk, we set up an appt to do so. If I were an interviewer, I’d certainly schedule via email wherever possible. Easier to confirm logistics that way too – no chance of mishearing an address.</p>
<p>Countingdown post 29 – completely agree.</p>
<p>Some of the stories about the helicopter parents are really hilarious and obviously way over the line. But it does bring up a serious question. If you’ve got a kid who procrastinates, is disorganized, and/or is too busy with school work, extracurriculars, etc. to focus on college applications, what do you do? How far do you let it go? What if the deadlines are passing and the kid’s missing out on scholarship opportunities (and that means the PARENTS have to pay more), and college visit days and interviews, do you really just not intervene and let them “learn the hard way”? I mean, sometimes it’s hard to find that balance between not being the absurd helicopter parent but also keeping the kids on track.</p>
<p>Agreed kierans. No idea where perfect balance is -do we ever as parents know it? But count me as a mom with a maturing but “not all the way mature” son who draws the line at letting him blow something as important as college apps as some sort of lesson. He can learn lessons when there is less at stake. Also I note that many of the “my kid handles everything by themselves” moms have girls. The difference in maturity at this age can be huge.</p>
<p>D1 managed all of her interviews when she was going through it, but she had her own car, so she was the master of her own destiny. </p>
<p>D2 is a different case. She is not applying to colleges yet, but she is applying to few competitive summer programs, which may involve some air traveling for interviews at a specific time. To manage that, I have been communicating via email with some directors. Sometimes D2 is not included on some emails because it would mean disclosing some information before other students would find out. Few times, D2 has received emails and at the end it would say, “Say hi to your mom.” D2 gets very indignant, “What, you are best friends now?”</p>
<p>I also like email better than phone, less mistake.</p>
<p>D2 is less organized than D1 (her nick name was the Baby), so she is used to have 3 people looking after her. But I am insisting on her putting all her schedules (meetings) in her diary. It would include her doctor’s appts, meetings with her teachers, lessons…It is a good habit to get into. </p>
<p>Moms with boys, even if you are making appts for them, it maybe helpful to get them in the habit of putting it in a calendar and be responsible for remembering those appointments. Have them go over with you the night before where they need to be next day. Many executives review their agenda for the next day before they go home.</p>
<p>My D had no alumni interviews and most of her interviews were not able to be scheduled by email, unfortunately. Email is definitely simpler. And yeah, definitely no bathroom calls. </p>
<p>And to the question of what to do with a disorganized child…I have two daughters, both of whom are organized and on top if things. I choose to do the scheduling because it simplifies MY life. They certainly would do it on their own, since they do the much more difficult tasks on their own. However, I have a son eho is completely disorganized. While he is only a freshman, I don’t expect any miraculous changes, just hoping for appropriate progress. When college app time comes, I will not have him suffer the consequences of disorganization. I will certainly not write his essays or do his work, but I will make sure he gets everything done. If that is helicoptering, oh well…</p>
<p>For my children (one girl and one boy, by the way), nearly all visits and interviews (sometimes the same trip, sometimes two trips) involved travel - and usually multiple schools on each trip. I did all the scheduling, including all the communication with admissions offices, to arrange. All communication other than this came from them. In those few cases where D had alumni interviews locally, she arranged them herself (via email). S didn’t have any of those.</p>
<p>S had a disaster where his HS did not send teacher recs even though the “system” indicated they had been sent (so much for the wonders of technology). He learned this by meeting with the college counselor, who them sent them. But it was a couple of days before an ED decision, so I called the college counselor (the one and only time I ever spoke with him for either child) to tell him HE needed to call the college and explain. He did.</p>
<p>Aniger – yeah, I’ve got one of those sons too. He’s now in his second year of college and I completely stay out of everything except the finances and he seems to be doing fine, but in those last couple of years of high school, it was tricky. There was one scholarship that I really wanted him to get, so I intervened heavily there and communicated directly with his guidance counselor to make sure everything got submitted on time (although I never communicated with the scholarship people and made him write the essay and fill out the application). He got the scholarship.</p>
<p>For the colleges where he really wanted to go, I took a middle of the road approach and made a list of deadlines and went over that list with him periodically to make sure he got it all done. He did and got accepted.</p>
<p>For one college that he was very interested in, but I figured was a reach anyway, I told him he was on his own. He missed all the deadlines and never even got his application done.</p>
<p>Was that the right approach? Who knows? It seems to have all worked out ok and as I said, he’s doing great now managing things on his own, so I suspect he just needed to mature a bit.</p>
<p>Now we’re starting all over with a daughter applying to college and that’ll be a whole new adventure and I’ll have to figure out the rules all over again. Being a parent is never really very simple is it:)</p>
<p>You never know. My D is very organized, keeps a calendar, schedules things, and my S is the master of the open-the-backpack-and-papers-spill-all-over, kind of like Pigpen in the old Charlie Brown comics. Drives me crazy. But he pulled it together enough to accomplish what he wanted (getting into a particular t20 school). So there you have it!</p>
<p>Pizzagirl said:
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<p>You know, that spill-out-of-the-backpack thing worked for S1 in HS on more than one occasion, where teachers graded his work, returned it to him, but never logged it in the electronic grade book. S swore he did the work and got it back, so we opened his bag, and because he never cleans it out, there were the assignments. Turned a second-semester senior year D in English to a B, and a C to an A in AP World Hist junior year. </p>
<p>His WH teacher was clearly a disorganized son in HS. He forgot to record grades for SEVEN of S’s assignments. Great guy and terrific teacher, though. </p>
<p>I have been relieved that both S1 and S2 have picked up their organizing game a bit in college. Was a major worry for me when they were leaving!</p>
<p>One thing that works well for family is that DH, D1, and I all have Android phones synched with Google Calendar. We have sharing turned on, so we can see one-another’s schedules. I can see, e.g., that D2 has after-school activities this week on M, T, Th. She can see that I have a late meeting on W, so the car (that we share) won’t be available to her until ~7pm.</p>
<p>D2 is going to get an Android phone, too, as soon as she starts high school. </p>
<p>It was a bit difficult, at first, getting everyone to keep their Google Calendar updated. But now we’ve all gotten used to it. The best thing part is being able to access the calendar on the phone while out-and-about – no more having to tell people “I’ll check the fridge calendar when I get home and call you back.”</p>
<p>I don’t think it is necessarily a gender issue. My d is hugely disorganized with paperwork and appointments. Honestly, I fear for her as she has never used the agenda that the school provides, despite massive encouragement on my part. To her credit she gets her homework in on time, however, sometimes forgets appointments, etc.</p>
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<p>Pizzagirl - I could have written this word-for word! But thanks for the reminder that for some people it works. Gives me hope for my S. :)</p>
<p>My parents force me to call back the interviewers and schedule everything myself. All they do is provide the transportation seeing as I have a late birthday and don’t have my license yet :P.</p>
<p>If it matters to anyone, I’m kind of disorganized but I’ve improved a lot since 3rd grade when my teacher had to dump my desk out :P. Still, at the end of 9th grade, I literally had no papers in my binder because they had all fallen out. Now, the worst that happens is a lost homework here or there. There is hope :).</p>
<p>D’s friend, who we took on a college tour of the Midwest while on vacation, found her dream school in Iowa. She applied, got a substantial scholarship and was then invited, at the schools expense to fly up there for the interview. Her mom is a super helicopter parent, and apparently talked to the advisor about the arrangements, which I can understand because the girl opted to go solo (imagine that - I was surprised she was allowed to). The girls is mature for her age, intelligent, articulate and well spoken. The mom asked the advisor what questions were going to be asked at the interview and was miffed that he/she wouldn’t tell her.</p>