Interviews

Prep School Admissions
21

As a former assistant director of a boarding school, let me advise you to RELAX. Just keep in mind that the people you meet with and talk to are just people…people who have the same worries, commitments, families, etc… as everyone else. They meet with a lot of people who are nervous, uncertain and therefore not easy to talk to and get to know. Imagine a day of having to talk with people who are uncomfortable and unhappy to be sitting across from you. It is so refreshing to talk with (aka interview) a prospective family and just have an easy, relaxed (or even entertaining!) conversation. Admissions isn’t there to interrogate you, they want to get to know more about the real (relaxed) you —the you that can’t possibly be represented by all of the paperwork.

Campus visits are for you to get to know them and them to get to know you—you don’t want either side to trick the other with a slick sales job. Admissions folks are trying to find the right match for their school’s academic and social/cultural community. The end goal, for them and for you, is to find a match where you are best positioned to thrive and succeed alongside other kids doing the same. If you decide you like the school and they say no, they have likely done you a massive favor by freeing you up for a better match. You want to be happy where you end up and be surrounded by kids who are also happy being there.

Most importantly, for parents and kids alike, keep telling yourself that there is no “BEST” school—there is no one school that is the best match for every amazing kid out there. The BEST school in the world is the best school for you…where you can succeed in ALL of the most important ways: emotionally, socially, mentally and physically. If you choose a school based solely on prestige or this or that ranking (which, please realize, is based on historical reputation), you are likely setting yourself up for failure. I know families where prestige (and/or legacy) was the deciding factor in school choice and in most of the cases the end result was definitely not success for the kids.

Redefine some terms in your process:

Interview = Meet

Best = Best match for my interests, needs and personality

Success = I had amazing growth emotionally, socially, mentally and physically. I had ups and downs and learned from them all.

Rejected = They think their school is not the right community for me—we are not a good match

Accepted = They think their school is the right community for me—we could be a good match

This is an adventure and if nothing else is excellent practice for the college search process. You will be well practiced for that, which is a very good thing!!

Best of luck!

22

Thanks all! I just had my first interview and I can’t really tell if the interviewer liked me or not. We made small talk and she was really nice, but the whole interview felt really short.

23

It’s good that it went well though! It can be very hard to know where you stand with the AO’s, so what you’re feeling isn’t uncommon:) What school were you interviewing at? @ephimerally

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@cababe97 I was at Emma Willard

25

AOs are smart. They know they can’t get a complete picture of a kid in a quick interview. Every year kids post news about admissions to schools where they had “bad” interviews (and rejections to schools where they thought they rocked it!)

Recommendations, essays, grades, ECs, etc paint a much more complete picture.

Interviews alone can’t get you admitted and probably only hurt you if you reveal yourself to be incredibly arrogant or uninterested,

So many kids visit these schools… I’m sure most interviews seem rushed…

26

DS had three interviews last week - according to him, one was awful, one was fine and one was great. I would rate my parent interviews the exact same way. The terrible interview was almost comically bad - zero connection, completely disinterested in my responses (DS said the same thing), and by the end, was saying things like, “Well, I guess if you want to continue the application, the steps are on the website…”. This really shook DS, as this was a school low on his list, and what he heard from the interviewer was that he had no business applying to boarding school. DS was in tears on the way to the car, and it was tough to convince him to follow through with the next interviews. I am so glad he did - they went much better, and he was able to see that clearly the AO at the first school was either having a bad day, or it was truly a terrible fit and the guy was doing us a favor. You may have a bad interview, or one that just doesn’t quite click, but keep going! As with anything, the more practice you have, the more comfortable you will feel, and the better you will be. During the car ride between schools, DS and I talked through some potential questions that might come up, and he said he was glad he did - otherwise, he feels he would have forgotten to mention a couple of things that were important to him. Also - dress comfortably. I watched a lovely young woman limp through our tour in shoes that were clearly killing her.

27

I can’t stress enough to be yourself and don’t give the “right” answer. The schools are looking to see who you are and if you will be a good fit- they can’t tell that if you are giving rehearsed answers or answers that you think they want to hear! I met a few candidates this past weekend when volunteering in the admissions parlor to talk with prospective students and their families-- it was SO obvious who was being themselves and who was giving the pat answers because they were in “interview” mode. I wanted so much to say-- just tell me what you think…not what you think I want you to think!!
per the words of Dr Seuss – “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you!”

You want to make sure the kid they feel is the right fit for the school, is really the kid that is you. And the only way to do that is to let them see the real you on the interview. Otherwise, the results could actually be all wrong for you. And no one wants to end up at a school that isn’t the right environment for them.

28

So what is SPS looking for? When my student applied there 6 years ago or so, the Director of Admissions told me at my parent interview straight out she wasn’t what they were looking for. I was dumbfounded because said student who went to Choate and is now at Pomona is brilliant, funny, kind, is a leader, yet collaborative. Did a lot for her community, including a 3 year Varsity athlete. She ended up pouring a lot into her application at SPS to show them she was worthy of admission and ended up wait listed, but still after meeting my daughter for only a short time, the Director made a quick decision (without seeing any grades or teacher recs).

I think they also know who they will admit including kids who are legacy, recruited athletes and who have geodiversity, so I think a lot of times, they are just running students through the proverbial interview grist mill mindlessly. Just my own humble opinion.

29

@preppedparent I completely agree with that, too…DS was WL/rejected at many a school despite looking like a “shoe-in” on paper…(according to stats, etc – don’t need any more lectures here-- I got them all In March and April)…

That being said-- I still think there are a few spots left after the legacy/sibling/star athlete spots are taken and the best way to show AO if you are what they are looking for is to be you–otherwise, they are getting something else and the something else you were in the interview may not be the person who will be happy at said school. DS was completely his complex yet introverted yet well spoken pensive self and the school he is in, is definitely as close to perfect a fit for him that I could have ever imagined.

30

@preppedparent The SPS Admissions Director actually said your kid wasn’t what they were looking for? How could he/she possibly know that based on a first meeting? Did he share any specifics?

31

@CaliMex yes. It was so perplexing that without knowing anything other than meeting her for 10 minutes to make that caprecious decision. It was weird and disturbing.

32

Golfhubby says its like a cruel form of speed dating :-B

33

The worst part about that is the effect that has on your DD…seriously, did the AO forget this was a young teenager who was already being vulnerable as it was? If anything, SPS did you a favor with that one, IMO…

34

The interview is so stressing me out. Lizardkid is quite quirky and that’s what people love about him. I want a school to love that about him and be a good fit, so we are purposely not prepping him. But… you never quite know what will come out of his mouth. I’m sure we’ll come out of this process with some great stories.

35

@vwlizard a quirky kid is a remembered kid! Perfect to let him be himself. Try not to stress and just enjoy the moments and the memories in the making! This process is stressful enough as it is, so take any opportunity possible to enjoy seeing the school’s an meeting the people. They are under the microscope just as much as y’all are!

36

One of the most important goals of the interview is to make sure this whole thing is the kid’s idea and not the parents’. If your kid is quirky enough that he or she might not be able to get that across, assuming that the kid actually wants to go this school or any similar school, please prep them. Have them be able to answer the why question with some semblance of coherence at least.

37

He is DYING to go to boarding school and is completely involved in the process. On most of our open house tours, he has been the only student to ask questions. They were well researched enough to garner the attention of both parents and faculty. Especially coming from a 7th grader. If anything, I’m thinking he might look “coached” because he has already seen most of the schools he will be touring next year and done so much research. I hope he looks as animated and excited the second time around. What he really wants to know about is what he calls “student life”, so I’m sure he’ll have some really interesting questions.

38

What are some schools that he is looking at? @vwlizard

39

So far we’ve been to New Hampton, Brewster and Forman. Will also look at Vt Academy, Proctor, Gould, Kents Hill, Millbrook and Kimball Union. Kind of off the beaten path and not the schools usually talked about here, but they all seem to be a great “fit” for LizardKid.

Plenty of amazing schools out there that fly under the radar, and there’s a slew of others I’d love to see, but we narrowed it down to the above based on his sport, learning style, and location.

40

Oh! If you are looking at KUA, did you look at Hokderness? May be another great option!