<p>Can you get away from people? How do you recharge? Do you need quiet time away from noise and how do you achieve it?</p>
<p>This is my daughter's biggest fear about going to boarding school is that she needs her quiet time away from everyone.</p>
<p>I am curious what each of your techniques are.</p>
<p>We all use words differently. If by âintrovert,â you mean a kid whoâs happier less engaged than more engaged, I would not recommend boarding school, period. If by introvert you mean your daughter just needs some quiet time here and there throughout the week, but otherwise genuinely enjoys the stimulation of her peers, that seems achievable. </p>
<p>The bias at most boarding schools is toward very heavy involvement by all kids in the classroom, on teams, in the dorm, pursuing extracurricular interests etc. There is not a lot of time for solitary activity. At Thacher, the kids are immersed in school life from morning till evening.The balance most kids look for is less about âbeing with othersâ vs. ânot being with othersâ and more about balancing, say, academic pressure against outlets like singing, or dorm parties, or going for a horseback ride with a friend, any extracurricular activity that offers a particular child pleasure.</p>
<p>Introversion as I believe it is understood today via Susan Cainâs work (âQuiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Canât Stop Talkingâ) are the people who âprefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotionâ. My daughter is an introvert â she enjoys people and friends, but is re-charged by having time alone with her own thoughts. She just finished her first year at boarding school and did extremely well. In fact, it was to her benefit in many ways, as friends were sometimes distracted and caught up in drama or commotion, she was able to step back and do what she felt comfortable doing. As an introvert (though maybe this isnât a quality of introverts but just herself), she feels less of a need to do what others do and is very comfortable being herself. She found ways to have her time alone at school, even while sharing a double room in a busy dorm, by going for walks on campus, listening to music with good headphones (block out extraneous noise), and spending time in the library. She has many friends on campus and participated in many social activities, outings, trips, etc., but was able to manage just fine as an introvert at an intense boarding school. It is great that your daughter recognizes her needs, is starting to think about what that means, and explore how she might meet those needs at school. In my opinion, being an introvert is NOT a reason to avoid boarding school; her thoughtfulness in imagining the situation and how she will handle it shows her maturity and insight â qualities that will serve her well at school.</p>
<p>My daughter is an introvert who has thrived both academically and socially at Andover. I remember reading that while introverts make up only about 25% of the population, they actually make up a majority of the gifted population. So there must be a lot of introverts at these schools who do just fine. I do think that the large size of her school has helped because there are lots of all different types of kids, including plenty of
other introverts with whom she is compatible. She has made many friends, but her closest ones are quiet and quirky and studious like her. If she were at a small school, there probably would not be as many other kids with whom she feels so comfortable. So, while it might seem counterintuitive to send a quiet kid to a big busy and loud school, it has worked out well for my child.</p>
<p>Our son is an only child and was concerned about privacy and time alone (time to think). Opting for a single room perfectly met that need. I would have described him as in introvert before BS, but he has become much more social and outgoing this year and loves knowing that friends and interaction are just outside his door, but that he can close that door when he needs to. However, as @ThacherParent states, BS is about engagement; except for study hours and sleep, there is not much alone time. Even with a single room, some BS do not allow students to go back to the dorm during the school day. Be assured though, that BS are filled with a range of kids on the introvert-to-extrovert scale, and they all seem to adjust. Unless your D is truly a recluse, Iâll bet that she is able to carve out the time she needs for herself and actually learns to enjoy the stimulating âchaosâ around her.</p>
<p>DD1 is a well socialized introvert. Sheâs outspoken and loves to mix it up in discussion and debate, and is sociable, but there comes a time when sheâs âdoneâ and needs her quiet time and privacy. fortunately, she had a single room during her two years at Andover. I canât imagine her having had a roommateâwould have been stressful. DD2 was a freshman this year in a triple that was meant to be a double (different school, btw). It was challenging. The lack of privacy and time just to be <em>alone</em> at the end of the day to decompress was very very hard at the start of the year. One thing we did was literally to create a âcaveâ under her bed. The bed was raised to its maximum level, she put a carpet and big pillow and a small light down there, and then hung a sheet over the side of the bed, enclosing the space. She didnât use it often, but it helped to have the option there.</p>
<p>even while having a roommate (who stayed in the room ALL the time) i was able to cope pretty well. Finding a place is not hard, and doing homework there or just sitting down is great. sitting in the art center for example, to do homework, a favorite room in the music building, the trails, the tv room in my dorm, the library, dining halls at odd hours- there are definitely places (especially on a large campus) to get away from it all. And request a single, although she may not get one</p>
<p>My introvert daughter wanted a single room her first year, but her dad and I feared that she would spend too much time alone in her room, so we insisted that she have a roommate. She ended up with a very compatible extrovert. It was a great match. She made so many friends because of her outgoing roommate. She liked having a roommate so much that she did it again her second year. Next year, for 11th grade, she will have a single for the first time. So, bottom line, having a roommate can be a good thing for introvert. It was for her.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your replies. MrsWeasleyâgood idea insisting on a roommate for the socializing. Iâm not sure how my daughter would take it.</p>