<p>Rich families don't bat an eyelash at wrting a check for $50k. Poor kids get all expenses paid. But for middle class kids getting partial FA, is it really worth it to be dipping into your kid's college savings accounts, eating beans and rice, and postponing your retirement date for years?</p>
<p>Since attending an elite BS is no longer a reliable ticket for getting admitted into HYPMS, and most middle class families have reasonable local public school options, what do you get out of making this huge investment?</p>
<p>As a beans OR rice family, I can’t yet say if it is worth it or not. Too soon to call.</p>
<p>However, I don’t think our family has a reasonable local public school option. Our district has classrooms with 38 students. A less than 50% graduation rate. Crumbling facilities. Few extracurricular opportunities. And so much worse. I don’t consider this reasonable for any student. </p>
<p>I didn’t chose to send my child to boarding school to improve college admission chances. I was just trying to find a chance for a decent high school education. A reasonably safe environment. Students engaged in learning and life. Fresh air and exercise. Anything beyond that is gravy.</p>
<p>Do I sleep well at night? No. I fret about everything you mentioned. </p>
<p>I do find peace of mind knowing my child is safe. My child is learning. My child is happy and thriving in a school environment for the first time ever. </p>
<p>That, to me, is priceless. Time will tell if it was worth it. It was the better of the choices available to our family. This I know.</p>
<p>Define worth. Im with Pops; we sent our kiddo to BS for the current rather than future benefit. There isnt enough space here to list all the concrete returns (to use Jerseys term) weve already seen in independence, growth, intellectual stretch and, most of all, happiness. I didnt think you could buy those things, but I was wrong.</p>
<p>Ive always believed that college will take care of itself. I have no concerns there and will not be biting my nails next year as CK goes through the college admissions process. I truly dont give a fig which wonderful school he chooses to attend.</p>
<p>What do I get out of making this huge investment? Nothing but supreme joy at watching our son soar. No need to wait for time to tell if it was worth it. It was worth it the minute he set foot on campus.</p>
<p>I am only half joking when I tell my husband that our retirement plan is to move to Bangladesh (if they’ll have us) where if we’re lucky we can grow our own rice.</p>
<p>Yes, yes, and triple yes to ChoatieMom’s comments. Environment matters to every kid, every human for that matter, but for some kids it matters especially. My kid would have shrunk in our local ps. I found that prospect so ineffably sad. Would he learn other things about himself, become resilient in different ways? Probably. But at what cost. </p>
<p>Everyone sees things differently, but to me high school is more formative than college. College will take care of itself. To see my child in a place where he can soar, bust open his sense of self and grow to become far more than the one-dimensional kid so many adolescents, or at least this one, often start their teenage years believing, is so unbelievably joy inducing I want to get up and dance around the kitchen.</p>
<p>I agree with 3 replies above, despite having a good LPS option. I guess it’s more about present happiness than about future return. But I suspect the term “middle class” is most often associated with socio-economic status, and the question could be re-phrased to whether BS attendance would significantly improve college choices, career mobility (upward, that is), future financial well-being, etc. </p>
<p>Not sure. If a BS kid can go Ivy, that kid is most likely can do so without attending BS first . BS might help but perhaps only slightly. Would he get a better job? Perhaps. Better wealth? Maybe. But as I say this again, if a kid is to go to an Ivy college, rise to become an executive at a Fortune 100 company, and ultimately belong to a 1 percenter, she is likely to accomplish all these, with or without BS. So much money to be spent on uncertain future outcome. Strictly in the sense of finance, I would invest $200k elsewhere for us the parents as well as for the child. </p>
<p>I believe, however, it’s not about money nor about ROI. I didn’t go to BS but my working-class parents worked really, really hard so they could provide me and my siblings with the best possible education they could afford. They worked 16 hours a day, got loans, sold assets including their wedding rings. I went on to college and graduate school largely on scholarships, but their dedications have never been lost in my mind. Now I am living a middle class life but my life is better because of intellectual world that I had met sometime ago and the job I actually enjoy day in and day out, not because of money that my parents didn’t have. </p>
<p>For some years, it’s been crystal clear to me an my wife that DC wouldn’t be happy at LPS despite it’s a blue ribbon school in a sought-after district. We have explored many other, less expensive options but in the end here we are… left with one final hope. Hopefully it works out. We’re not gauging money’s worth. Just paying it forward.</p>
<p>We are one of those families spending “college savings” on “high school.” Our D is a senior, and is in the thick of her college search. She’s planning to major in a field where college admission is determined not only by grades/test scores, but by auditions. In her case, the artistic, academic and personal growth she’s gained during the last 2 years at her performing arts boarding school are proving invaluable as she competes for scholarships. Who knows what will happen, but I strongly believe she is in a much better position (perhaps to even earn a full-ride to college based on merit/talent scholarships) than she would have been if she had stayed at home.</p>
<p>conserve: “Did well” is not the same as “be happy.” DC is doing superbly well at LPS but not happy. In retrospect, I too did well but not so happy. But then, BS didn’t exist in the world of my childhood.</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily disagree with you Conserv (see my other posts) but as a parent who made the same choice as SG and is waiting to see if it is “worth it” (new bs parent this year) I can also argue that the quality of education you receive at even a “blue ribbon” PS (and not all of those are so fantastic) with 30 kids in a class and limited course options, doesn’t really compare to a BS education with 12 kids in a class where a bright child is surrounded by equally bright students and can work to his own potential - plus as a boarding school grad I can tell you that the life experience you receive in BS is completely different than in any public school. Whether or not it is worth the $$ sacrifice is a very individual decision, and for us as first year parents the jury is still out a bit. I can say that even though we have a Newsweek ranked PS, the education my dd is getting at her BS is far more rigorous and challenging.</p>
<p>With 4 hours of homework a night I can’t say she is “happier” yet but I do see a change in her already. She is rising to the higher expectations of the school and untimately I think she may be a happier person because of BS - or she can come home next year! lol</p>
<p>Off the top of my head, 3 areas where BS kids come out way ahead vs. our local, better-than-average public school:</p>
<p>writing ability - they are given much more frequent and more in-depth writing assignments at BS</p>
<p>critical thinking - the type of teaching and the small, conversation based classes are a plus here</p>
<p>poise - I am always amazed by the poise and confidence of BS students upon their graduation. They are articulate and well-spoken. Living in a small community where they constantly engage with caring adults makes a difference as does the confidence that comes with the independence they develop over their 4 years.</p>
<p>An added benefit is not having to worry about standardized testing other than college entrance exams. No more teaching to the test as found in the NCLB world.</p>
<p>We are another family with a top rated LPS–at which D2 was miserable and socially isolated albeit academically doing fine. She was the proverbial square peg surrounded by round holes. At BS she is happy, thriving academically and working on making the pleasant social connections turn into friendships (as an entering junior, probably a little more challenging than if she had started in 9th grade with the majority). She is loving the level of depth and inquiry in her classes, and the fact that the kids generally love learning (as opposed to loving getting high grades in the LPS). Absolutely worth it!</p>
<p>@conserve - I never said it was a lock, just more readily developed and noticeable across a wide variety of students. This is based on MY observations and opinions comparing the options available between boarding school and MY local public school. YMMV. </p>
<p>Which brings up another plus depending on one’s local circumstances. BS represents much broader diversity than what is available at the local public. All kinds of diversity - socioeconomic, racial, etc. The BS my child attends is also much more tolerant of differences, especially LBTGQ.</p>
<p>I sit in on a lot of high school writing classes that are supposed to be taught at the college level, and I’d say that most are very good, but don’t compare to what I saw in my kid’s ninth grade classes at Exeter. I’ve also looked at their writing; it’s generally better than what I see from my own community college students but doesn’t have the complexity I see in my own kid’s writing (caveat that writing is his strength). </p>
<p>I have a friend whose daughter went to Wesleyan from public school who said that the prep school kids’ writing leaves the rest of them in the dust. Smaller classes are a real plus here; it’s jut common sense that teachers with a load of 40-50 students will be able to assign more writing and pay more attention to it than teachers who have 130 students (the typical load in our local high schools). </p>
<p>And while yes, I’ve known lots of poised public high schoolers, there is something different about boarding school kids that probably comes from leaving home earlier than most. My kid spends lots of time casually chatting with on-duty faculty in the hall when most kids would be tuning out their parents…maybe it’s stuff like that that makes the difference? At any rate, I find it much easier to chat with my kid’s friends at boarding school than the kid here in town–they’re just more open to friendly adult conversation.</p>
<p>I keep mulling over the idea raised here that paying for a great high school may be more important than paying for a great college. While I was originally in the no, it’s not worth it camp, I think that’s a compelling argument. The influence of the right adults is much more important; characters traits are being set; intellectual curiosity dies or lights up; I could go on. Of course, it’s not a given that we can get by with paying nothing for college–and yet, many of our kids could probably find merit scholarships or close to free rides at state or other small private schools, form close relationships to faculty, and shine.</p>
<p>The boarding school students are comfortable speaking with adults. They are comfortable being themselves. They are comfortable in their own skin. I’ve seen home schooled students with this same type of poise or maturity. I rarely see it in students from more traditional school settings. </p>
<p>I think it’s a confidence that stems from being in more “authoritative” relationships with adults rather than “authoritarian” ones. Many public and day schools seem to operate in an authoritarian manner. Boarding schools strike me as much more authoritative. I think it makes a difference.</p>
<p>Love the way you describe “authoritative” vs “authoritarian” Pops and I think that’s an important difference. BS kids are empowered in school. They know that their opinions have merit and are taken seriously, even when their ideas are outside of the box, and this in turn makes them engaged listeners and curious students. There is no “us and them” mentality. Teachers don’t need to “control” the class. </p>
<p>I also agree with Conserv that BS kids do not have a lock on any of these traits- I can think of many bright kids at our small LPS with these same traits and the top 20% go to the same schools as the top 20% at a HADES school. Top 3 grads last year went to Georgetown, Dartmouth and Tufts (out of a class of 115 approx). </p>
<p>And +1 to classicalmama - LPS Honors 8th grade english class read 3 books and wrote approx 4 papers in an entire year. My BS daughter produced that amount of work within her first month at BS. And there were 30 kids in her LPS honors bio class too.</p>
<p>This makes me look like awfully materialistic, doesn’t it?</p>
<p>This is more of empirical for my family. Obviously, DC is yet to enter BS. But during the past few summers at overnight camps with other like-minded, motivated kids, DC turned into a completely different personality–outspoken, popular, easy-going, natural, and yes, happy and elated. It was an awakening moment. And I would pay anything for that to continue…</p>
<p>My daughter took a total of six AP classes (and a dual enrollment class through the local CC that was taught by the high school teacher) at the LPS before starting at Mercersburg this year as a junior. All but one were humanities courses. She only has one AP class at mburg this year. She’s probably learned more in this first term than the last two years at local high school. And she’s much happier. Her teachers actually like having her in their classes instead of just tolerating her.
Like sharinggift, I would pay anything for that to continue. And while I may not pay as much as others, it is not without sacrifice.</p>
<p>We joke that we will never be able to retire. </p>
<p>For us it is not for college entrance, but for the experience of high school. DS needs an environment where he will be challenged, and where other kids want to learn and have a passion and drive. We live in a district with “excellent” public schools, but it was not the right fit for him. He is very strong in math, and our local school stops with calculus. The boarding schools we looked at all go past calculus - and routinely have
9th or 10th graders taking calculus. This is one example and yes, we could have found local options - college classes, online classes, etc. but he would not be with classmates in these classes.</p>
<p>There are so many more options for colleges that he will find a place that fits (though he has had his eye on a very competitive school for years now). </p>
<p>The opportunities - from time with teachers, to availability of clubs and living with other kids from various backgrounds are just fantastic.</p>
<p>Of course there are sacrifices (even for those who can write the checks without blinking an eye). Emotional, time, etc. along with financial. Your child is away. You are not there for the little things and some of the big ones. And if you are only focused on HYPMS your child may very well have a better chance of acceptance from your LPS. </p>
<p>Each family has to decide what is the right path for their child.</p>