<p>I'm wondering if any of you parents - or experienced students - can give me some advice.</p>
<p>I'm in my second year at one of the boarding schools that is considered among the best on this board. After getting straight As all through middle school, I am find boarding school more of a struggle. My average isn't that bad but grades are very lopsided. I do excellent to above average in my courses in subjects like foreign languages, english/history and art courses. I have been really struggling with math and science courses. I work very hard but find it much harder to grasp the concepts quickly in these classes. </p>
<p>Aside from academics, I love the school. I have plenty of friends and am involved in activities, too. I've adjusted very well to living on my own and I really don't want to leave...</p>
<p>I feel I have my strengths but everyone seems so smart here. My parents wonder if it is worth all the sacrifices when they see my math and science grades... </p>
<p>Does anyone else have experience with a situation like this? Am I totally screwing up?</p>
<p>Please consider that you may still be learning more with poor grades at a top boarding school than you would with excellent grades at a regular school. </p>
<p>Don't let your struggles with math and science effect your self-esteem though. You recognize that you have your strengths so celebrate them while, at the same time, acknowledging that you must work hard just to keep up with math and science. Be careful not to fall into the trap of arguing for your limitations, however. It's easy to begin to think, "I'm just not good at math so why bother?" NOT saying that you're doing this. </p>
<p>My son is very similar, and while he is just an applicant this year, I expect that when he does eventually get to boarding school he will face the same struggles. He knows this. His abilities in humanities are ten times his abilities in math....to the point where he starts to think he's not so smart because algebra doesn't come as easily as say, Latin. </p>
<p>But, and this is the important part, we are hoping that the enjoyment he will derive from the humanities classes will balance out the tedium (for him) of math. I suspect that he doesn't fully appreciate how hard the things that he breezes through may be for the kids who seem to breeze through math. I hope that you realize that perhaps, everyone who seems so smart has their struggles too.</p>
<p>So, your question - is it worth it? Is the hard work in math and science worth the stimulation you may get in your other classes? And of the most importance - are you LEARNING more? Only you can answer that. As much as I enjoy my childrens' successes, I also look forward to their struggles - so that they have the opportunity to grow.</p>
<p>Hope this helps, but not sure if it did.</p>
<p>There is a mother posting whose daughter is struggling with academics. I think the thread title is "boarding school grades."</p>
<p>The most useful people for you to talk to would be your advisor, or perhaps VI formers who have gone through what you have and survived.</p>
<p>Also, to add to the excellent post by neatoburrito, are you taking advantage of the resources the school has to help? Do you have peer tutors, or extra time to visit with teachers one-on-one? Or, is there an academic skills center that can help you out with ways to study and take notes? Do not be afraid to reach out for resources.</p>
<p>And, if you have already reached out, keep on doing it....it may take things a bit longer to come together for you in certain subjects.</p>
<p>Thank you for your posts and encouragement. </p>
<p>I'm trying to not let it affect my self-esteem. I work very hard and have used the resources you mention. I plan to keep working hard because I want to stay here but it's soooo frustrating at times. :(</p>
<p>I had the same experience at boarding school. I was much better at language, history, and English than I was at math. It's actually pretty common. My recommendations are to try different types of classes in those subjects. If you're bad at trig, try stats. If you're not doing so well in chem, try physics. Also speak to your adviser about choosing teachers for next term. Teaching style has a huge part in how you learn math. I didn't really like or get math until I had a teacher who really got through to me. Even though I didn't get the greatest math grades, boarding school was definitely worth it. By struggling I really learned how to study and deal with bad grades - a skill that has proven very useful in college. I know it's tough now, but you'll look back and realize how much you learned during those classes.</p>
<p>Show these posts to your parents! You are learning that you are not perfect and you are learning how to adapt and accomodate. Life is full of struggles and you are now in an environment where you can experience small failures with a big safety net. The survival skills you acquire in the next four years will serve you well in college and in life!</p>
<p>Hang in there, do your best, test yourself and enjoy the experience!</p>
<p>
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My parents wonder if it is worth all the sacrifices when they see my math and science grades...
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</p>
<p>I think I this is the most telling sentence in the original post.</p>
<p>The answer is dependent upon whether you are learning more at your current school as compared to your alternatives and if what you are learning is worth the sacrifice. </p>
<p>Sometimes it is difficult to measure this quantitatively and occasionally, in the absence of other information (teacher evaluations, etc.) parents will mistakenly try to do so with the letter grade you are receiveing. They will measure that against what they perceive that you need to get to a college they dream about for you. Once again, trying to quantify something that has lots of "mush" in it.</p>
<p>The best way to clear up this ambiguity of how you are doing and how it is preparing you to be the best college student (and person) you can be (the true objective of boarding school) is to sit down with the teachers in those classes you struggle in. Ask them about how they feel you are doing. Ask them how they think you can improve your performance and commit to doing so. If it is coming by for extra help, be there at every opportunity. If it is asking more questions in class when you are struggling with a concept, get your hand in the air. And let your teachers know that your parents are asking if this is worth it. Your teachers can then talk to them about how you are working your hardest and how they will help make you the best (math/science/etc.) student you can be. While all parents love to hear that their kid is getting an "A", most are very willing to accept that their kid can do their best and still come up short. And I think they will understand that "Hey, if I pulled him/her out of here, would he be getting that kind of support from his/her teachers elsewhere?" Probably not.</p>
<p>You need to clear up air here about the quality of education you are getting.</p>
<p>Don't forget that you are now being graded with an entirely new and smarter group of kids. I remember at Stanford when kids who had always gotten high As suddenly got Cs in the curve. They were devastated.</p>
<p>Note that kids with good grades (ie some Bs) get into the top colleges too -- as opposed to those from PHS.</p>
<p>Do make use of the extra support systems. Enjoy yourself.</p>
<p>My son has the opposite strengths-math and science (and Spanish) come easily compared with the humanities--and has found the writing and reading to be a challenge in BS. However, his 9th grade class is more like a freshman in college class and he will be better off in the long run--if he can re-write essays, read more efficiently, perfect his grammar. His teacher recognizes that his attending help sessions and commitment to improve writing skills is positive and commendable.</p>
<p>Academics are important and you have been given good advice in the postings above on how to improve. However, when you look back on your time at school in many years, you probably won't really remember the academics as much as other parts of the bs experience. Are you making friends and having some fun? Are you doing new and different things? Are you enjoying the many new opportunities-whether a new sport, a different EC activity, maybe going for a mountain hike with an outdoors club or getting up in the morning early to go for a walk or a run? Are you getting to know a member of the faculty on a personal level (perhaps your advisor)? I would consider all of these things in determining whether your experience is successful and not just by reflecting on your grades. I suspect that, once you start enjoying your school more (within reasonable limits), you will find you can perform better as a student as well.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for your posts. They do make me feel better. I continue to have conversations with my parents and your thoughts have helped. I know they want the best for me and their worry stems from that. </p>
<p>Goaliedad - your point about getting more individualized attention in my current setting is a good one. </p>
<p>Old1 - As I stated above, I have zero problems with school other than wishing my math/science grades were stronger. I am very active in the community in a variety of areas, have tons of great relationships with faculty and my fellow students and am very happy with my life at school. However, despite much effort, my grades in some classes are mediocre at best which has been a bit of a knock to my confidence. My other grades are above average to excellent. All my teachers like me and compliment my work ethic regardless of my grade in their class. I guess I just have to get used to the idea that my abilities are quite mixed. I agree that grades are not the only measure of school success. In all other areas, it has been a huge success for me. As neatoburrito and baseballmom have stated, I will try to use this as a growing experience and learn from my struggles.</p>
<p>I do take advantage of extra help - with both teachers and peers. </p>
<p>sugerkim & nervedoctor - Thanks for your post which makes me realize that others face similar issues in the sense that their abilities vary as well and that what may be easy for me is hard for others and visa versa.</p>
<p>I'll keep plugging away and trying. Thanks again for the helpful feedback.</p>