So, I’m currently a senior in high school. Right before high school, my tight group of friends broke up and sort of left me behind. Since then, I haven’t found a group like that, only individuals, who I’m good friends with. While I love my friends to death, we aren’t all in a group together. I love this because I have a great mix of friends, however, when it comes to school dances I am normally left out because they are orchestrated by the big groups. While I always work hard to find dates and groups, my efforts have yet to work out, and it always causes a great deal of stress and self-loathing. I feel like I’m a funny, attractive girl who is sort of in between outgoing and quiet, so I’m not entirely sure why I end up without a date. I’m also unsure as to why I am a senior who still never managed to fit into one of the coveted close groups of gals.
So tell me, is college better than high school? If I want to be social, will college work out better than high school? Do you guys have any tips for making sure that college is not a repeat of my high school experience? Do you think I, being someone who’s had a bad experience in high school, would thrive more in an in state vs out of state college (both are options right now)?
In-state/out-of-state doesn’t really make a huge difference compared to size the college, which is often the big differentiated from high school. A small college might feel a lot like high school. Likewise, a commuter campus is going to be a lot different than a state flagship or tier one private school.
There’s a reason “peaked in high school” is an insult.
College life can be better or worse than high school. There’s no one answer - it depends on the person, their prior experiences, their personality, their wants and needs and likes. For some people who were queen bees or super popular in high school, their college experience may not (or may!) be similar to that. And for others who are more loners, they may become sociable and popular in college - or they may continue to be loners.
The real question is - do you want to change that? It sounds like you do, so there are things you can do to effect that change in college. You won’t magically change your personality, but you can start seeking out a new group of friends and forge relationships and groups.
It completely depends! College is what you make of it. The biggest thing is that you have so much more control over your circumstances.
One thing about college is that you get to “start over”…often you have known the kids in HS for 12 years and they have an image of you. In college you get to start over.
Here are tips for making friends: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
My D had a very successful high school experience, but she couldn’t wait to be done. College has been so much “more” for her: challenging, rewarding, eye-opening, social. You DO get to be someone new, if you want - especially if you are going to a large school or one where few of your HS classmates are attending.
If you want to make a “group” of friends, try joining a club or other activity that you’re genuinely interested in. From there it’ll be easier to meet many people doing something everyone enjoys, which can evolve to other hangouts.
You’ll leave behind the immaturity and classroom discipline problems (idiots) that plague a typical public high school. The kids who will become the next generation of losers, felons, homeless, career welfare, etc., will be out of your life. In college you’ll be surrounded by people who want to be in school to learn and the vast majority of which will be successful in their careers. The teasing, bullying, and intimidation found in high school will be no more.
But college introduces lots of new variables you’ll have to tame and get under control. New surroundings, making new friends, learning a new academic game, home sickness, and freedom, for example, will provide interesting challenges. The farther you are away from home, the more variables you’ll have and the more issues that will become solely your responsibility to solve. With so much new and in flux, even small problems that arise are magnified. For instance, who takes care of you when you catch the flu?–How do you get food, medicine and rest when you have a 102 fever?
So to answer your question, some age-old problems will suddenly disappear. But you’ll be entering a new world with new challenges. Good Luck!