Is college really for me? What should I plan before Fall 2019?

I just finished my freshman year (I’m not taking any summer classes) and I didn’t enjoy it at all. I already received low grades (grades that I’m not satisfied at all) and I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m not ready to continue college. I tried to study a lot throughout this school year, but nothing lived up to my expectations. I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought that everything I learned was useless and literally enjoyed nothing. The reasons why I’m not ready to continue college are:

  • Lack of interest in staying in a college campus
  • Hatred of seeing people my age and older (couldn't meet anybody at all)
  • Pointless group work that leads to weaker assignment grades
  • Lack of understanding the material I'm learning at college even if I pay attention in class, take notes, check online resources and read the textbooks
  • Lack of A's this semester (got a freaking 38/100 on my 5-page economics essay with relevant information that follows the entire rubric)
  • Not very helpful advisors and career counselors (they canceled appointments as well)
  • No major declared yet even if I pick a bunch of gen eds I'm not going to do well in even despite turning in all of the work required
  • Not prepared for a career in the future
  • Was never good/proficient at a specific subject even back in high school
  • A below-average SAT score and a weak GPA that lead to no success in my first year of college (correlation and causation)
  • Unhelpful feedback from professors (weak, repetitive, confusing, and some don't even give any feedback)
  • Lack of focus and concentration on everything
  • Affording for tuition and books (I wasn't given the money I expected this time and still have to pay a couple of fees for this semester)
  • Not getting any part-time jobs on-campus
  • Annoying bookstore advertisements on my email and "recommended" course evaluations
  • Was 0% confident for my final exams
  • Commuting to college is exhausting considering the money, time, and distance
  • Questioning about taking a lighter or higher load of classes/credits next semester (scared of taking labs because I don't know what to expect from them)
  • Family is encouraging and forcing me to stay at college without having any plans whatsoever

I can’t even get into an entry-level job either. I had job interviews and got rejected by a couple of them already. I didn’t get a call from the other ones either. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared to tell my family about this issue.

  1. You don't seem to like anything. This makes me wonder if you are depressed. I would go to my college counseling center or doctor and talk about that possibility. Or just talk about what is going on in your life.
  2. Did you take advantage of all the resources at college? Talking to professors during their office hours? Getting a tutor? Going to the writing center?
  3. Was this level of college right for you? What was your GPA? What college is this? What was your SAT?
  4. Did your parents go to college? If so, they may have ideas for you.
  5. What else would you do? You see that entry level jobs (not sure if these are entry level or minimum wage) jobs aren't easy to get...what else would you do?
  6. Would learning a trade (plumbing, electrician) be more up your alley?
  7. Some students who don't know quite what they want join the military and then return to college later.
  8. How far is your commute?
  9. Would community college be a better idea for you?
  10. Have you read this? http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html

Answer to your reply. Yes, it may be a long reply:

  1. I doubt I’m depressed. Apathetic and uncaring would be more appropriate terms in this case. I’ve seen people talking about being depressed and being mentally unstable at college, but I don’t think I have issues with these.

  2. I always asked my professors questions but they barely helped me understand the material. I get what they’re saying but then I easily forget what they’ve said after I come home. However, couldn’t get a tutor somehow.

  3. It has a 65% acceptance rate. High school GPA was around a 3.5-3.6. Not exactly, but approximately. No APs or honors courses whatsoever. It could have been lower. SAT score was 1000 (450 Reading/Writing, 550 Math). It’s a “state school”. I was placed in remedial English as well due to placement exams, but not remedial math.

  4. My parents never went to high school, let alone college. My father is 68, my mother is 58. They have no clue what they’re doing right now. They never had a real job either.

  5. I honestly don’t know. This is why I want to know why the world was created, who created it, how, and why (again). And yes I meant to say minimum-wage jobs. I’ve had a couple of job interviews already but they never called me back and some already rejected me. Stay in my bedroom doing nothing. That’s what I like to do.

  1. I doubt it. If I can't do college, I can't do trade school either.
  2. What do I do at the military? If I ever leave college, I'm not going back at all.
  3. 10 to 15 minutes. I can't drive at all, so my sister usually sends me to campus; A taxi sometimes picks me up and sends me home.
  4. Stay at community college for only a year? I've already had enough of transferring schools in my previous school years already.
  1. I just did. Here are my thoughts on each of one of the tips:
  1. That’s what I’ve done throughout this semester.
  2. I always asked my professors questions but they barely helped me understand the material. I get what they’re saying but then I easily forget what they’ve said after I come home (see number 2 above).
  3. I never had issues doing my homework, but when I start doing exams I keep seeing different questions for some reason.
  4. I couldn’t find friends in high school, let alone college.
  5. Other than two semesters of calculus, I haven’t taken other STEM courses. I was too scared to take classes such as General Chemistry and General Physics because I’m weak at science classes and I have no clue about labs at all.
  6. I never had the time to go to other places and I only go to my classes if I’m at school.
  7. Where am I supposed to get one? This is somewhat similar to number 3.
  8. I have trouble reading books that are not school textbooks. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had this issue.
  9. I should have withdrawn a class, but that would’ve cost me money and my family doesn’t have a lot of money.
  10. Most of my final exams weren’t cumulative, except for one. Why should I go back to the material that won’t cover in later exams unless the exam is cumulative?
  11. I had homework for some courses, while for others I barely had any at all. I rarely get 100$ in my homework though.
  12. I don’t play sports, I don’t own a video game console, I have no clues about the parties at my school, I don’t know anything about the fraternities/sororities at my school, I’m not involved in any clubs/volunteering, I’m currently not employed at all, I never watch TV or listen to music, I’ve never skipped class before. All of the things I mentioned just don’t appeal to me at all. Why am I not doing well at college if I never do any of these activities in the first place?
  13. Nothing urgent happened so I have no answer here.
  14. I get obsessed reading the syllabus on the first day of class. For some reason, I have a strong memory for due dates and exam dates, but a weak memory for class material.
  15. I log in 10+ times a day. I’m not even joking. It’s just how often I access it for the resources and assignments our professors give to us. I didn’t have any missing assignments either.
  16. I’ve done that before and I didn’t get anything above 90/100. I got 38/100 on my economics essay and I followed the entire rubric.
  17. I could’ve gone more often like maybe every day, but I really didn’t.

Many college students occasionally feel sad or anxious, but these emotions pass within a few days. In contrast, depression affects how a person feels, thinks and behaves and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems.

Signs and symptoms that a student might be experiencing depression during college include:

Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as hobbies or sports
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
Changes in appetite — often reduced appetite and weight loss, but increased cravings for food and weight gain in some people
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures, or blaming yourself for things that aren’t your responsibility
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

I didn’t even enjoy high school and thought it was pointless but college seems even more pointless than I thought it was. I received no A’s this semester, not even this year at all.

However, I’m not understanding why depression would be the only things that affect college students during college. Isn’t there something else outside depression or what?

I just answered the questions you asked but I’m just waiting for answers related to my answers, not just stuff for depression.

I agree that you should be evaluated for depression. Your perspective is so negatively skewed (I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared to tell my family about this issue") that I really think you would benefit from talking to a counselor.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time. You may want to see a counselor at your college before heading home and see what avenues are open to you. A leave of absence might be s good move to make but without knowing more about your situation, I wouldn’t want to make recommendations.

If you are on financial aid or other assistance, there might be an orderly way to put them on hold…or not. Someone familiar with your malaise and your status at the college should go over options with you

It’s not unusual to feel the way you do, and there is no easy, one size fits all solution.

See a primary care doctor - insist on getting tested for low thyroid, anemia, iron (ferritin)* and vitamin deficiency. These are all physical conditions that can present as depression.Se
I say insist because all too often, specially if you are female, doctors immediately jump to “depression” without checking other possibilities.

*specially if you have donated blood within the past 2 years, or avoid red meat

@MaineLonghorn @bopper What does depression do to someone in the long-run? I don’t believe what professionals say. I can’t even afford a professional at all. How does being happy make you any “better”? Give me examples.

@cptofthehouse My biggest issue is that I don’t know what to do in life. No major, no interest in continuing college, I just don’t care about college at all. I don’t get why college was created in the first place. I was never “good” in a specific subject at all.

@scholarme I’m male, but with the lack of focus and concentration is the fact that I tend to overthink many things for whatever reason. I had a yearly checkup a month or two ago and I don’t think I had anything at all. And no, I never donated blood before.

No one here can diagnosis you from a post. What people are telling you are there are many red flags in your post and it sounds like you could use some professional support.

Untreated depression in young people can lead to poor performance or misbehavior in school, anxiety, anger issues, risky behaviors, chronic stomachaches or other health issues, eating disorders or substance abuse. (source: https://health.usnews.com/health-care/patient-advice/articles/2017-04-21/what-are-the-risks-of-untreated-depression).

As pointed out in post #7, other medical conditions can cause similar symptoms.

I am not seeing a lot of personal responsibility/accountability in your post. It’s not your profs jobs to make sure you understand. It’s your job. If you are struggling in a course, you need to go to study sessions, TA/Prof office hours, and tutoring. If your work groups aren’t going well, pull in extra help.

What have YOU done to get involve in your college community to meet other students/make friends?

You wont be handed a job, even an entry level one. Many students have to send out dozens and dozens of resumes to get a job.

Have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD? (I ask because you said you are having trouble concentrating).

You are just a freshman. No freshman are prepared for a career yet.

How many courses did you take this semester? What is your GPA? Reducing your course load next semester might be a good idea if it doesn’t impact your financial aid.

Again, go talk to some one in your school’s health center. Start there!

Here’s one thing I know (and you know this too)…you can’t keep going on the road you’re on right now. In very broad terms, I’d see these as your choices:

  1. Stay where you are and see if it gets better.
  2. Take a year off and work (you noted issues with jobs but the economy is strong and there are likely good scenarios for you).
  3. Leave this college and go to another college/trade school/apprenticeship.

But before you decide on any of those 3, take advantage of the free counseling that’s at your college and simply talk this through…lay out everything you’ve said here and perhaps some clarity can come from talking it over.

If you continue college, try some introductory psychology courses. They are often fun and interesting for kids in many different majors. It is important to find some classes that are enjoyable and not just a chore.

@momofsenior1 I never said people can and/or should diagnose me. I’m not asking for that.
As your source for depression, I also think happiness is a clear delusion and illness.

  1. There are no study sessions for our courses. I see none of them. There aren’t any TA’s at our school unless the class has SI (supplemental instruction) which none of my courses for this semester had. I went to all of my professors’ office hours at least once. While I get what they’re saying, the next time I completely forget the material I learned from them.
  2. Group work never helps me in the first place. Every time we have group work, I never get involved. I’m the one who contributes nothing to the group. All of my group members just ignore me. I don’t know why professors want us to do group work in the first place.
  3. I also don’t like meeting people and make friends with them. Why? Because I can’t relate to anyone at all. They all seem stupid and idiotic to me.
  4. As for finding jobs, how can I get a job then? At least a minimum-wage job. I’ve tried everything but I keep getting rejected from the companies before.
  5. No, I was never diagnosed with anything before.
  6. Everyone will tell me that I’m an adult so I have to make my own decisions. So an adult is 18+, correct? Even if I get to my 50’s and 60’s (not sure if I will), I’m still not going to know what career I want to pursue.
  7. No A’s this semester and last semester. 5 classes total, not sure how many to take next semester. My grades this semester include:
    Writing and Rhetoric I - B
    Prin: Microeconomics - C-
    Intermediate German II - B+
    Calculus II - B+
    Introduction to Philosophy - B+

My family members expected straight A’s from me and look now.
I took 5 classes because I had less than 12 credits. I had 11 credits that counted for my degree (took 14 first semester, but remedial writing didn’t count on my degree).
My GPA hasn’t been calculated yet. And yet people say “gen eds are dumb and easy A’s to get!!!”

@SouthernHope Why can’t I be “on this road”?

  1. Why should I waste my time taking classes I don’t even need to?
  2. If I take a year off, I won’t go back. Nobody accepts me to work at their place because they say they have “better candidates.”
  3. If college is not for me, then trade school is not for me either.

@BunnyBlue And what should I do with that class? It’s not like I will enjoy it immediately. I didn’t like the ones I took, let alone the one you’re suggesting me to take.

First off, those are perfectly fine grades. It’s a big step up in work load from HS to college, and your family’s straight As expectation are not realistic. Don’t listen to what “people say” about gen eds.

Do you have a career center at your school? I wonder if they can help you identify a major/classes that you would enjoy? Have you ever done personality and/or interest inventories? There are tools to help you pinpoint what you like.

How are you studying? Reviewing? Retaining the material you learn is definitely something that you need to be able to do. (But again, you have a perfectly respectable GPA, especially for a freshman).

Collaborative learning is a life skill and you need to show up and do the work. Real life employment always involves collaboration with other people.

What have you done to find a job? How many applications have you sent out? Have you walked into businesses with help wanted signs, ready with your resume? (Your school’s career center should also be able to help you put together a resume if you need assistance).

Trade school is nothing like college.

You need to be pragmatic about your future. You will need college or trade school. School doesn’t have to be the “best years of your life,” but it will open many more opportunities.

Don’t give up! Reach out and get help from college!

@momofsenior1 I didn’t mention my college GPA at all, just this semester’s grades. Also, technically speaking, these classes are all supposed to be easy classes to everyone so I don’t know why I didn’t do as well as I should have (I didn’t think they were easy at all, especially microeconomics. that class was a nuisance).

I made appointments with the career services but they canceled the appointments a couple of time already, so I decided to not make an appointment again. If I were to answer any career/personality quizzes, I would pick No/None/Disagree/Strongly Disagree for all the options. If there are only questions about which options I prefer over the others (without the none options), I will ignore the quiz just because I can’t pick at all.

As for studying, I rely mostly on my notes. If the notes are short, I check videos online and do the required homework/classwork. I also just hate cooperating, collaborating, and working with other people. I don’t know why, but I’m just not into it. As for finding jobs, I applied online, applied with paper, did resumes, saw businesses with help wanted signs, etc.

Well, I can’t be pragmatic about “my future”, if I don’t have any goals/plans whatsoever.

Hugs to you @SkyNova20 what i mean by “you can’t stay on this road” is that you can’t keep feeling as badly and as lost as you feel right now…no one could…so we (all) need to think through a better path here…you don’t want to go on this way, I know that.

The goal of counseling or therapy isn’t necessarily “happiness.” Gaining functionality is also an important goal. You are resisting, but what would be the harm in your at least trying to talk with a counselor before deciding what to do? You have lots of different options, but right now it seems you aren’t really able to think clearly about either your current situation or the path going forward. A good counselor might be able to help, whether or not you are actually depressed.

Help at the student services center is included in the school fees you paid. Please visit. Your grades are fine and no reason to not continue with your education. The most important thing is to get help with your outlook. It is a burden you don’t have to carry alone.

Why do we need to have a positive outlook in life? Explain.

Also, I have yet to pay some school fees before I sign up for classes in the fall semester. I don’t know what classes to sign up for and how many to take. I already talked to my advisor and was told that I should go to career services and figure out what I want to do in life. I’m also not sure whether career services will help me find a career that fits me best. I’ve made appointments before, but they canceled them. I don’t know how to go there without a vehicle. I’m also reluctant to take certain courses because of how difficult they are and/or how I know nothing about what the class is. I also can’t declare a major, not just because I have no interests in any of them, it’s also because of the fact that I can’t get a “strong” A in the classes I’m taking. I didn’t get a single A this year, how am I supposed to know what classes to continue with?

I also have to say this: If I tell my family my grades, I don’t think they’ll let me continue college anymore. They will think everything is over.

“Lack of understanding the material I’m learning”

“Lack of focus and concentration on everything”

“While I get what they’re saying, the next time I completely forget the material I learned from them.”

“when I start doing exams I keep seeing different questions for some reason.”

Is it possible that you have an undiagnosed learning disability?

I agree that a comprehensive evaluation (physical/cognitive/mental health) might provide some answers for why you feel the way that you do and how you perform in the classroom.

Finally, don’t be so quick to dismiss the idea of trade school. It may be that working with your hands to produce tangible, immediate results might be more satisfying to you than the more abstract, long-term structure of academic study. Tradesmen also can earn very good salaries.

Best of luck to you.