Is "fit" contrived?

Parents Forum
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<p>It's probably true that kids could be happy at many places. But we may as well maximize their experience by choosing the school that will encourage them to take the most academic and intellectual risks and provide an experience that helps them become who they most want to be. And it's often true that kids are rejected at their top school and do just fine, but why not strive to create a school list that is most congenial?</p>

<p>If finances mandated that my kids attend SUNY schools there is a big difference between Purchase and Oneonta. Why not put in the time to familiarize ourselves with the differences as best we can?</p>

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<p>Okay, I’ll explain my experience with finding a fit.</p>

<p>First, a bit of background: </p>

<p>I am from an area of NY that views NYU and Columbia as awesome in every way. Obviously HYP are still the “best” options, but top students usually receive countless questions like “well, why aren’t you applying to columbia?” It gets annoying after awhile, to be honest, but that isn’t the point. The point is that we are conditioned to add NYU and Columbia to our application lists. We think “fit? well I’m a top student, so my “fit” is a top school.” I am a legacy at NYU, and my mom did significant research at Columbia, so I was familiar with both schools. Despite the fact that neither school had the environment I wanted, it took me a long time to see that.</p>

<p>Once I started to really think about what would make me happy, I realized that I wanted a very small school. Honestly speaking, I considered few colleges outside the the top two tiers of liberal arts. Part of that came down to pride, but a lot of it was influenced by my knowledge that the quality of my peers would affect me. I viewed everything outside the top 30 or 40 of the USNWR LAC list as a safety, and that was an accurate appraisal. </p>

<p>Basically, after a LOT of consideration and self-evaluation, I determined that I wanted a challenging, very liberal, very small (under 3,000 students) and tight-knit, diverse, preferably nonurban (definitely not NYC or Boston), east coast school no farther than 5 hours from my home. I STRONGLY did not want a school with a reputation for preppy students, and that cut out a few schools (though, in retrospect, I misjudged Amherst, though I didn’t LOVE it for other reasons as well). I strongly did not want a school where the social life revolved around alcohol, and that cut out more. </p>

<p>I did consider a few schools outside of my location requirements, but since I did care about that, the top 30 schools were down to something like 10 “serious” options. The social considerations cut the list down further, so my “fit” was pretty clear.</p>

<p>I also had a unique situation where, after I determined all of these things, even visiting some schools more than 8 hours away to “give them a chance,” I realized that colleges where I felt the happiest were women’s colleges! I did NOT expect that, but it seems that that is not an unusual reaction. It is important to visit women’s colleges because SO MANY students change their minds after visiting.</p>

<p>So, at the end of my search, I was down to Wellesley, Smith, and Mount Holyoke. The Wellesley admissions committee made several very unfavorable impressions on me, and Wellesley’s credit transfer policies would have meant that I’d need to spend at least an extra semester just on requirements. Also, I really wanted to attend a school with some kind of consortium because my desired major is one that would be MUCH easier to do at a school with more courses. Since I didn’t want to attend a university, that problem could only be solved by either letting go of my particular interests, or attending a school with the resources of other schools. In reality, it is not very convenient to take classes at MIT and Harvard from Wellesley, even with a car, so that made the other schools (especially Mount Holyoke, which is closer to the other schools in its consortium) more desirable. </p>

<p>In the end, like many students, I was split between the two schools. Did I want the more politically aggressive Smith, with more general (in the non-academic world) name recognition? Or did I want the diversity and friendliness* of Mount Holyoke, and the stunningly beautiful campus in the nonurban environment I wanted (unlike Smith), but near enough to the bustling towns of Amherst and Northampton?</p>

<p>My “fit” was Mount Holyoke, for more reasons than I can list here. I realized that the main “advantages” of Smith were either superficial (slightly higher ranking and supermarket name recognition), or not enough of an issue vs. the advantages of Mount Holyoke (e.g., Smith is more politically aggressive, but MHC is still very active, but also has x, y, z that Smith lacked). </p>

<p>I would have fit in at both. In fact, I would have fit into more schools than I allowed on my list. I’m sure that I would have found my non-drinking niche at, say, Middlebury. I’m sure that if I attended a huge state school, I’d have a group of honors college friends. A student, if he or she really tries, can fit in almost anywhere. The issue is finding the BEST fit. No student wants to put in THAT much energy just to have a rewarding college experience and friends. And, although I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about and researching schools to find that “perfect fit,” it felt amazing when I did find that great match. Knowing that your school has the most of what you desire is really awesome. It is difficult, and I am guilty of wishing that I could squish together the very best of every school (take this professor from Bates, and this reputation from Harvard, etc., etc... and SQUISH), but if you know what you want--really know, not just know vaguely--finding the best fit is not impossible.</p>

<p>BTW, I want to say again that I DON’T think that college happiness is contingent upon finding this match AT ALL. A general fit brings most people much happiness. I was unusually concerned about the “fit” because I’m a transfer student and can’t transfer again. Because of this concern, I broke things down a bit more logically. Although I definitely had “omg, I love ____” feelings after MOST of the schools, I realized that and just tried to break things down as much as possible. I might LOOOVVVEE Harvard on my tour, but HATE the idea of being taught by grad students. That logic is really important, IMO.</p>

<p>*Both schools are very friendly, but it is much more open at Mount Holyoke.</p>

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<p>Oh, and I did have one "GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE" reaction to a school that, on paper, seemed like a very good fit. While my reaction was a bit strong, to say the least, there were logical reasons behind it. The students talked about their social life like it was a drink-fest with very few other options, and the college was practically in the middle of nowhere. I didn't want to live in a city, but I also wanted options within a driving range. I never realized what a rural environment really entailed until I visited. It makes me laugh when people say that Mount Holyoke is isolated! What a joke!</p>

<p>This is one reason why the visit DOES matter. The visit shouldn't just be to the college either. The town, city, cornfields, whatever surrounding the college should be scoped out also. If the college is in a consortium, check out those schools also. Trust me, it is really important to get a good picture of your potential environment for the next few years!</p>

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<p>Very well said. Congratulations on finding your fit!</p>

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<p>Thanks mythmom!</p>

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<p>I found that "fit" was partially an intangible, gut feel and a combination of very rational considerations. I visited 3 schools; IIT (urban Chicago, small/medium school, with some greek life, and a lot of diversity), UIUC (college town, huge school, a large greek scene, and TONS of stuff to participate in), and the US Air Force Academy (military base near a medium sized city, zero greeks but VERY close-knit, small, and geographically diverse student population).</p>

<p>I felt fairly comfortable at IIT. The students seemed smart but relaxed. The frat house I stayed at wasn't very nice, but I don't place much emphasis on rooms that look like they were shipped from the IKEA factory, so it didn't really turn me off. The urban setting was a bit different for me (being from the 'burbs), but Chicago is not that foreign to me. </p>

<p>UIUC was the school I didn't like very much. I went on a tour of the city--er, campus, and thought, "This is Ok..." They offered a meeting to their prospective honors students where they expounded on how personal the honors program made the school. The meeting felt impersonal to me. "If this is their idea of small and personal, I don't think this will work for me" went though my head a few times that day.</p>

<p>USAFA turned out to be a very different experience. I visited during the summer, but was able to see some of what the school year might be like. When my visit ended, I thought, "I might not be cut out for this place, but I HAVE to go here!" That thought turned out to be pretty accurate, and I love (and sometimes hate) this place.</p>

<p>After visiting my three top schools, I knew exactly where each ranked for me. So, I believe that "fit" is very real for some people. It sure was to me.<br>
As it turned out, my gut feelings turned out to coincide with financial considerations and my goals. That made my choice fairly straight forward.</p>

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<p>The person who brings up Hitler in an argument will lose the argument. (Godwin's Law; reductio ad Hitlerum)</p>

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<p>Plenty of people I know are considering transferring after seeing a great "fit". It depends.</p>

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<p>Wait, so you developed this opinion on "fit" based on tours of Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, MIT, and Penn...which environmentally speaking, are the same school. Well, your version of environment: liberal, urban, politically active, multi-cultural.</p>

<p>Are you sure you went to Columbia? :P </p>

<p>Some people DO NOT WANT a huge campus that offers everything; giving them the option to choose what they like. Some people want a school that has small student body, some people want a school that is geared towards x study, some people want a school without minorities (hey, it's America), some people want a school that is focused on sports, and some people want a school that is located near warm temperatures.</p>

<p>To be shocked at the notion that <em>gasp</em>, some people are not able to function in an overwhelming environment that has everything, is an escape from all things logic.</p>

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<p>^^^^ That's not true that HYPCMP are the same environment. Yale and MIT are extremely different - MIT science oriented, academically backbreaking, "nerdy", Yale politically active, humanities oriented, liberal arts. I've seen too many people post in this thread that all the elites have the same atmosphere. Besides prestige and selectivity, some of them are quite different.. although some of them are still similar.</p>

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<p>
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^^^^ That's not true that HYPCMP are the same environment. Yale and MIT are extremely different - MIT science oriented, academically backbreaking, "nerdy", Yale politically active, humanities oriented, liberal arts. I've seen too many people post in this thread that all the elites have the same atmosphere. Besides prestige and selectivity, some of them are quite different.. although some of them are still similar.

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<p>All schools possess a primary gear, but the ones you mentioned are virtually the same in a general sense. If you throw a Yale student into a Brown environment, there really isn't going to be a huge culture shock.</p>

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<p>I think an important aspect of fit/lack thereof that isn't being considered much is a school NOT being a fit. While a positive visit to a school that looked good on paper may only serve to confirm the student's initial impression, visits are also important in eliminating schools that might seem fine on paper but not after talking to admissions people, student guides, etc. A student from a large city might not initially object to going to a rural school, but after visiting, seeing what the campus/surrounding area is like, and hearing about student life, he or she might have a different impression.</p>