<p>Laserbrother,
I understand your wanting your daughter to do her best. Every parent hopes for that in our children. And, it is good that you understand that test scores alone are not the ticket to admissions. But, please, for your daughter's sake, be happy with the wonderful young woman she is, even if she is not able to reach perfection. </p>
<p>I will share a story with you. My daughter had a very dear friend who had parents with very high expectations. She did her best, but her best was never "good enough" in the eyes of her parents. By the way, like you her parents were new to this country, and felt that the culture here was "preventing" their daughter from reaching her true potential. Her mother told me several times exactly what you are saying, "We want her to be the best she can but she is distracted here in America!"</p>
<p>My daughter's friend is no longer with us. </p>
<p>She committed suicide at age 15. </p>
<p>I remember having a conversation with my daughter's friend just before she died where, through tears, she told me how she afraid she was of letting her parents down because she did not get all A's on her report card. </p>
<p>I am sure her parents would give anything to have their "less than perfect" daughter who did not "live up to expectations" with them today. </p>
<p>Now, obviously your daughter probably is much stronger than this girl so I am not implying that this is in any way her fate. But even STRONG and talented girls can feel relentless pressure, especially when the subtle message given by their parents is always "Good, but not good enough." </p>
<p>There is no one in the entire world who is "perfect". I often wonder how we, as parents, would feel if someone - say our spouses - constantly put they type of pressure on us that we sometimes put on our children to be "perfect" and "Try harder." Would we really stay married to someone who kept implying that our achievements, no matter how wonderful, were never "good enough?"</p>
<p>Love your wonderful daughter for WHO she is, not what she DOES. Please try to remember this. Yes, expect your daughter to try hard, and do her best, but do not consider her a disappointment if her best doesn't live up to YOUR expectations. I had to learn this lesson the hard way--after my friend's daughter died, I realized that I, too, sometimes had unreasonable expectations for my children, and very often gave the message that their efforts were not "good enough". I hope you will learn the lesson sooner, and in a less painful way. You time with your daughter right now is precious - soon she will no longer be in your home. Make every moment with her a positive one, not one consumed by fear and disappointment. Your daughter sounds like she is a wonderful young woman -- focus on her many talents, not any perceived faults. And, tell her how proud you are. Every single day.</p>