Is it bad to ask my wealthy 90 yr old grandpa to help me pay for college?

I think the OP is grasping at ways to not attend an in-state college. She feels she is “owed” a better school.

“SUNY Albany- Presidential Scholar (1/2 tuition)”

Be very grateful and go there. Perhaps you can ask Grandpa to set up a legally signed loan for whatever costs your parents cannot/will not provide to you.

If your parents can only afford $35k/year for you to go to college, why don’t you find a school that costs that instead of one that costs over $60k?

Yes that’s what I meant. Wrong verbage

C’mon give the girl a break. She’s not asking for anything unreasonable. If you have a wealthy grandfather there is some question why some old geezer would die hoarding his money or wasting it on young wife number 4 while his descendants are left to make their own way. I find it crazy that parents, grandparents etc. who do have the ability and means to help their children decide out of selfishness or spite to spend all their money on themselves. Or some naive belief that one is helping the next generation by making them pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. I don’t pretend to know the OP’s family dynamic and what the grandfather’s motives are, but I choose to take her request at face value, and I see nothing wrong with her asking for a grandfather’s help. If it were my child or grandchild I would be proud of her and would want to do everything I could to maximize her opportunity.

I think it is ok to ask grandpa if he would help out with your tuition. Someone of that age probably doesn’t know how much college cost nowadays. He may think paying for your college tuition is a worthwhile way of spending his money. On the other hand, he may not. I would be honest with him instead of “sucking up.”

I would write to him first to allow him some time to think it over before giving you an answer. In the letter, I would detail the cost of attending and the short fall. I would also let him know your other more affordable options, and let him know why NU is a better option for you. Your grandfather may agree with you or he may think going to NU is a waste of money. What’s important is to let him make his decision without a lot of pressure from you or your parents. You will need to be gracious no matter what he decides. You will also need to take a chance if your grandfather should change his mind about paying for your school later on.

I don’t know what my financial situation will be when my grandchildren are of college age. If I could I would be happy to help out with their education if their parents couldn’t afford it.

@austinmshauri Because merit aid exists at all of the schools I am applying to with exception of one. That mentality keeps a lot of high achieving low income students out of college. Just because I won’t get need based aid doesn’t mean I will be paying the sticker price.

I notice you don’t seem to have much interest in this idea of borrowing against any inheritance you or your parents may be getting. That tells me you (and your parents) are willing to spend Grandpa’s money (and that of other potential heirs not in your immediate family), but not your own.

@intparent That’s your opinion. And you’re entitled to it, but you’re wrong. I’m not grasping at anything and it’s not as if merit aid doesn’t exist and it is not as if I’m saying this after all of my offers have come in. Some posters on this thread are well aware that I have been accepted into Alabama and Minnesota (though they aren’t in state, they would be affordable) and am trying to figure out ways to get there and would be happy there. So I don’t appreciate you insinuating that I am simply prestige hunting or trying not to “settle”.

My suggestion…wait until you have all of your offers in hand. See where the money is…and isn’t.

I also hope to help my grandkids with college costs…but I will set up a 529 with the help of their parents…if this ever happens. I’m pretty generous…but I’m even more generous to my kids because they never ask me for money!

@KKMama That is an option, but I will not be going to SUNY Albany. I already got into Alabama and Minnesota and those would be affordable options. I honestly don’t even know why I applied to Albany.

@suzy100 Your point would be fair if it was just some distant relative I never see or speak to. But this is someone I am very very close to and someone I have spent every summer with for the past 6 years.

@intparent I am not sure how you got that because I never said we were getting an inheritance and as far as I know, we aren’t getting an inheritance aside from his house. I already said that my family would likely be able to spend $35,000 per year which is not as easy feat.

So I’m not sure how “my family can spend $35,000 and will need money in assistance for my final two years of college”= “my family doesn’t want to pay anything and I want my grandfather to cover the entire cost of my education”

I am confused. You said your parents can pay $35K/year. You are into Alabama and Minnesota. So why aren’t you just planning to attend one of those? And again, you COULD put some of YOUR or YOUR PARENT’S future inheritance on the line in a proposal to him, but don’t seem interested in that. You want your Gramps to pay the bill out of his pocket (thus reducing the estate that will likely be coming in a few years to ALL the heirs, including those less deserving cousins) so you can go to a fancier school.

Editing based on your post: if he has so much money he can afford to pay for your college, who will be inheriting this large amount? Agree that some people give it to charity and not their families, but most of the time it goes to the children of the deceased. You said his new wife isn’t getting it, so odds are his kids are. If there is no inheritance, then likely there isn’t enough cash to hand out for a grandkid’s college, either.

@intparent I am not sure what you are missing.

  1. Merit Aid exists! And it exists for 7/8 schools in waiting from. So why would I just choose Alabama or Minnesota when I could very well get a scholarship that makes up the difference?
  2. As far as I know, THERE IS NO INHERITANCE. I don't know how many other ways I can say this.

Again, I REALLY do not appreciate what you are insinuating about me and my character. I’m not prestige hunting. If I were, I wouldn’t even bother apply to any of my in state schools or UA or UM.

EDIT: I do not know where my grandfathers money is going. His other children either left him for dead, or actually died. As of right now, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a will so as for where that money is going, idk. Maybe he is giving it away, maybe he is gonna blow all of it in the final years of his life with his wife, maybe he is secretly planning to give it to me anyway. Idk, so I can’t talk about borrowing from an inheritance when Idk if I will get one.

If you think the man is rich enough to help pay for your college, then there likely WILL be an inheritance. You acted like he is Mr. Moneybags in your earlier posts. If not, then he ought to be saving any money he has for possible nursing home, long-term care, or medical expenses that are not covered by Medicare. And not spending it on your college. You HAVE good options already that your family can afford. I happen to have a degree from U of MN, and it is a perfectly fine school.

@intparent if my grandfather had concerns about nursing home (which he doesn’t because he has an in home nurse), or long term care, or health insurance, I wouldn’t even bother ask. That would be extremely selfish because that would be money he needs. But I know that is not the case. I know that for a fact. So maybe he has plans I don’t know of. I really don’t know.

An in home nurse is costly. As he ages, he may require multiple in home nurses to cover 24 hour care…not predictable.

If he does without a will, the laws of his state will determine where all of his assets go. You might want to check to see what that means.

My guess is that he has a will; if he is savvy enough to have a pre-nup with his new wife, then he has a will And it is very possible that the OP’s dad has an idea what is in it (I have a pretty good idea of what is in my parents’ will). You could tell him you are having trouble paying for whatever school you are admitted to that you want to attend (I would not ask until acceptances are in hand). You could state the specific amount you need, and ask if it would be possible for him to gift you that amount, or in the alternative consider making you a loan against a future inheritance for you and your parents (you WOULD need to discuss with your dad before you do this). I do agree with the poster above who said that if you really are going to ask, do it in writing. That way you don’t spring it on him, and if he IS unhappy with the request, you aren’t creating a really awkward situation. I still think you ARE creating an awkward dynamic no matter how you do it, and from what I can tell you do have affordable options on the table that you would not need his help for.

I’m not following your logic. How does applying to schools their parents can afford keep students out of college? Perhaps I’m misunderstanding your thread. I was under the impression that the net cost of the school you want to attend (after subtracting merit aid and the amount your parents can contribute) is still ~$70k more than you can afford. Not having to pay sticker price doesn’t make a school affordable. YOU can’t borrow $70k for undergrad. You can’t borrow half that, actually, so unless this school hands you $35k/year it’s going to be unaffordable for you. Choosing colleges that cost more than their parents can afford is what keeps high achieving students out of college.