Hey guys!
I talk A LOT in my interviews, (I’m very outgoing) and we ALWAYS take up more than the allotted hour. Is this a bad thing? Am I being overbearing? Am I not giving them a chance to ask me questions? Or do they like all the information and insights they get into my life?
It should be noted that I have some crazy stories and I try to keep my interviews interesting – I’m not trying to put the admission officers to sleep.
Thoughts?
Thanks, guys!
coppii…a few words of advice, coming from a parent who has shepherd two kids through 3 boarding school application processes and 2 college processes.
First, IMO,it is very early in the 2018-19 app cycle to be worrying about stuff like this. Worry about getting your apply-to list together first. Worry about how much your family can afford/how much aid you might need to make it happen. Worry about scoring as high as you can on the SSATs. About finishing this school year out as strong as possible.
My take on your post above is probably going to be unsatisfying: It depends.
I think interviews that go over can indicate that there was a connection made between the AO and the applicant.
But when you use phrases like “I have some crazy stories”…that’s a big red flag, at least to me. This is not an opportunity for you to try to keep the AO entertained (you mentioned that you’re “not trying to put the admission officers to sleep”). I’m guessing that, for the most part, AOs don’t want kids with “crazy stories”. Unless of course, the story is about how you or your family had to overcome incredible hardships.
I view Interviews as a chance for the AO to get some insight into your character and how you might add to the student body. I think you SHOULD let them drive the interview by allowing them to ask questions…and keep your answers ON TOPIC as much as possible. You should also come with some questions of your own…questions that can’t be answered by just looking at the website. One of my favorite questions to ask AOs in the parent interviews was “what’s your favorite thing about the school?” followed by “what’s your least favorite thing about the school?”. I asked the latter to see if they would give an honest response or a generic answer.
@SevenDad well, yes, I have crazy stories. But, I always ensure that I include what I learned from those experiences. It’s never nonsense. I don’t tell them things that happens to me— I tell them things I did/learned.
And I do usually ask the tour guide a lot of questions, i feel like the AOs only really care about me. But maybe I’m wrong.
I think there’s a fine line. Kiddo had 4 interviews some as long as 1.5 hours ( most were 30-45 minutes) no correlation at all with acceptances 2/4. Though I do believe that during the parent interview when the AO tells you they liked your kid, they really did. In both cases where AO went into details about the kiddos character they were accepted for the other two, my kiddo was waitlisted.
Honestly, I think they are looking more for character than what you do.
Everybody in my family always tells me I interview really well. I am very outgoing, but, I always just thought, “You’re my mother, what are you going to say? ‘Jack, you’re a terrible interviewee and you’re going to get rejected to every single school you apply to because of that’”
On the flip side, I have had AOs tell my parents that they really liked me, and had AOs express to me that I did very well in the interview – sometimes so much where I feel like it gets awkward/annoying. I always thought this was just the AOs being nice, because again, what would they say? “Hey Mr. Whatever, I really did not like your child – I think he’s an idiot. Well, good luck! Hope to see you next year!”
But, perhaps there is some truth to this.
One thing, though, my mind races quite often and sometimes I will go off on such a tangent that I literally forget the original question and say “Oh my, I’m so sorry – what was the original question?” However, I have tried to minimize this more recently.
It’s also worth noting that the reason that I did not get into the schools to which I applied was completely unrelated to this.
Interviews are just on of several things considered when deciding who to accept. If an interview goes well, that’s good but you need to have the rest of the package as well.
The best interviews are conversational where both parties to the conversation get a chance to talk and respond to each other and things progress naturally. If you are dominating the conversation, I’d be careful about that and reassess.
Being “entertaining” and being viewed as a good prospect are two different things.
@doschicos When I say entertaining, I just mean I speak with passion and emotion. Also, my life is just generally interesting. it’s not hard for me to find relevant things to say. Most of my interviews are conversations – the AO just never seems to end the conversation until they go “oh my! We are way over the time limit!”
@coppii: Speaking extremely frankly, I wouldn’t be so sure about your statement in post #5, regardless of what you heard from whatever source. And no, I don’t need to know where you heard this nor am I asking.
Additionally, humility is a quality that I think many AOs are looking for…even in high achieving students. I don’t know if someone who makes a statement like “my life is just generally interesting” is going to give off a very humble vibe.
Please keep in mind that I (and pretty much every parent on this site) am trying to be helpful. And that I’ve been through this with two kids — one twice due to a mid-HS transfer. I also own my own company and interview potential candidates all the time.
@SevenDad hey man, no offense taken. Your not insulting me by giving constructive criticism. If everyone told me “Yes Cóppi, your right! Your perfect! Good job!” 100% of the time, then what’s the point?
I’ll admit, I am, generally, privileged. However, I try to be humble in that sense. And when I say my life is interesting — that isn’t always a good thing. I have just been through a lot.
But I understand what your saying. I am not a braggart like that though. (I know that sounds like something a braggart would say — but I have no other way to show you)
I was about to respond but I see @sevendad took my comment. Here was the short version of what I was about to say: FEWER crazy stories, MORE ssat improvement. Those 2 steps will stand you well in the process.
Also: how can you be sure what were the reasons you were not admitted? My experience on this board, is that it is usually quite difficult to determine that… so take whatever you heard with a grain of salt. The schools are under no obligation to tell you.
I think you need to be very careful about watching for cues from the person you are talking to. I have interviewed people who looked very good on paper and who were doing well – but who did not recognize when to SHUT UP because the committee was ready to move on to a different topic. Opportunity lost.
@london203 Of course, there are many reasons that I could (and should) have been rejected. I genuinely recognize all of the flaws in my self/ the application that led to me not being admitted. However, that does not change the fact that I literally prayed for this for months. It does not change my desire to go – and thus does not change how much it hurts.
I sew what you are saying about the stories and stuff to both you and @AboutTheSame… its something I will be conscious of before my next interview. Even the stories that show good things about me take up a lot of time. Duly noted-- thanks, guys.
Also: I am not saying that it is THE single reason I was not admitted – there are many IMO. But, even if I was much more qualified, with that thing there, I would not have been admitted. Simple as that. As I stated previously, it is easier for me to blame it all on that simple little fact and reboot for next year with all of the new knowledge I have gained.
On a final note, I think soon I will take a break from CC and focus on being a kid for a bit. I’m home for the next 3 months before summer. I think I should enjoy my friends and family whilst I’m home. This has been the only thing I thought about 24/7 since September and its messing with my head. Worrying about the past or looking too far in the future has no benefit anyway. I’ll just focus on what school I am going to next year (I have about 3 good options as smaller schools) then probably reapply to a MUCH wider net as a repeat sophomore. I have my final interview on Tuesday, hoping it goes well and I can get accepted to Blair! I am applying as a full pay student – so that should help.
'Till next time guys!
" I have interviewed people who looked very good on paper and who were doing well – but who did not recognize when to SHUT UP because the committee was ready to move on to a different topic. Opportunity lost"
Very true. Additionally, interviewers aren’t going to jump in and bail you out if you wind up going down a path where you are hanging yourself. In fact, it is an interview tactic to let the applicant keep talking and see if they slip up and disclose something about themselves which doesn’t help their case.
"Even the stories that show good things about me take up a lot of time. “”
If you do reapply. Work on that. Being able to condense whatever point you want to make, whether personal or business, into a succinct and salient delivery is a a good skill to learn.
“On a final note, I think soon I will take a break from CC and focus on being a kid for a bit.”
Hear, hear! Go enjoy your youth! It’s fleeting.
Whatever else: GOOD LUCK in the process. Do not let it consume you. Take time to, as you said, “be a kid”. Focus on other things for a bit. You have earned a break from this!
I would add - be careful with the notion you are going to try and get into a school for next year, but then re-apply the following year to a wide net of schools. Schools don’t want to be used as short-term stepping stones.
Interviews are an excellent opportunity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and much less commonly the other way around. They are a test to see that the person on paper is actually human, personable and can carry on a conversation. An interview will not overcome fundamental weaknesses in paper IMO. Let your LORs go on and on about you…don’t go on and on about yourself.
Most of my interviews went over the time limit, but not all of them, and overall I feel the quality of the interview didn’t necessarily have any sort of correlation with its length. My best advice is the “50/50 Talk/Listen Rule.” You should be listening almost as much as you are talking-it is a conversation, after all.
I absolutely agree with @MtnTrailX I have/am experiencing bias due to my known transfer, and it most definitely sucks. For my freshman year, this current year, I decided to attend a small private day school. However, boarding school was always my dream. Despite my parent’s advice to stay at my current school, I persuaded them to let me apply to a variety of schools. In the end, I decided to attend Exeter next year. I thought I was set. Though, I was greatly mistaken. As soon as my teachers found out that I had accepted a spot on Exeter’s 2021 class, all the teachers that once seemed to profoundly enjoy my company switched on me. Now, my final month has been me chasing to keep A’s in all my classes as my teachers are attempting to find any mistake to retort at. It’s terrible, though, overcomeable. Best of luck at gaining acceptance at Blair, and if not, I am certain you will find a great boarding school to attend through the 2018-2019 cycle! My only advice is to be careful and make sure you truly want to attend boarding school for the right reasons. It would be egregious if your teachers begin to find resentment towards you solely because you applied to prep schools, and end up being stuck at that school for the next three years. I wish you the absolute best of luck!
@Cristian007 I was in a similar situation and basically got ran to withdrawal—they had no real grounds to expel me or anything (I’m a good kid who had a 4.0, did crew, was in the play, was a club president, etc.) but, they were torturing me. My mother withdrew me in the end. Unfortuently, I didn’t get accepted into my pick of schools given the very unusual circumstances—it was a nonstarter. But, was your school not mad to begin with when you first asked for reccomendations elsewhere?
P.S. Dude—you got into Phillips Exeter Academy—America’s #1 college prep schools. There are SOOOO many amazing things about this dream school, but I’m sure you already know all of them. Don’t worry about the next month. Keep your head down, have fun, relax, just stick it out. One thing, dont go on and on about how you got into Exeter and dont burn any bridges—especially with admin and teachers. Nothing is stopping them from calling Exeter and strongly reccomednning that they dont let you in since you have become a nightmare. Or they can expel you on whatever grounds they “see fit” that’s just the private sector. So be careful, get good grades, and make sure the year ends with a kiss if at all possible.
Congrats again, REALLY!