Is it worth $50K?

Parents Forum
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<p>I just added this post to the Cornell discussion and it was suggested that I add it to the parent discussion so here it is:</p>

<p>Two-parent family, living w/i our means in an expensive area, both worked from high school through college and so on, wages gained bit by bit over the years amidst high child-care costs, housing expenses, little to no debt and therefore, no financial aid.</p>

<p>First reaction - is it fair? I know we're lucky to have jobs, health and little debt, but it's been such hard work the whole way and this means we're working for living expenses plus college expenses and maybe one local vacation a year and a dinner out now and then.</p>

<p>Next reaction - is it the right choice? A state college would be so much cheaper, perhaps we should have shopped the packages, but Cornell fits like a glove.</p>

<p>Final choice - we're going to try to do it - my parents did it for me.</p>

<p>Any thoughts?</p>

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<p>Not worth it if you or your kids go into massive debt to finance it.</p>

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<p>My friend could have written OP's post last year. She felt guilty about exerting any influence over her S's choice between Cornell and the honors program at the state flagship. Same kind of family/work situation. He, a very serious kid, chose the state flagship, and is truly happy there. He's already connected with profs in his major, and doing significant research with one of them. He'll be a star, and will have no guilt over his parents spending too much on his education! </p>

<p>That said, I have no idea if it's worth it. I guess it depends on what each student does to get maximum benefit out of the expensive option. My S has a terrific scholarship at the perfect college for him, but my D next year is likely to have different kinds of options. It's daunting.</p>

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<p>No one can say if its worth it to you personally, of course, but if I were you no way. Will you go into debt? Your child? What if one of you loses your job or gets a pay cut, what does the future hold? In fact if I were me (way better off financially and would require no debt) we still wouldn't do it. </p>

<p>Cornell isn't any better than a ton of other less expensive places. No offense to Cornell: I'd say that about most schools. At the end of four years, your kid will be where he would be after lots of less expensive places. But big difference is the amount of stress and loss of money. </p>

<p>Fits like a glove? How can anyone really know if one's child will gain more from that environment than some other? We make these decisions based on very little real info. Not to mention we often see the info through blinders because people get sucked into names and rankings. </p>

<p>Don't let aura of stupid rankings or parental guilt guide your decision. Seems like a very expensive bumper sticker you should not worry about purchasing, IMHO.</p>

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<p>You sound resentful just thinking about it. How will you feel when you're actually writing the checks and living with the cut backs? To me, stretching for anything should be done only if you believe it's really worth it and won't have constant regrets and ongoing resentment.</p>

6

<p>I quizzed 12 of my son's old hs classmates (that I know well) as they wandered through our house over the winter break after their first semesters at a wide variety of colleges (including H,Y,S,M and on down the ranking list of LAC's some public U's some unknowns (to me) and one at a local CC). It's probably way too early to judge the impact, but I got the impression that there are kids in the group where a "better" school is making a difference, while for others it didn't matter as they were making their school work for them. (If that makes sense). One constant I was pleased with, they were all happy with "their" school.</p>

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<p>I would think this is a personal choice. It depends on what kind of savings you have, how sure you are with your job and such.</p>

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<p>Hi!
It sounds to me as though you've answered your own question and that you want to do whatever it takes and whatever you can do to provide your child with a Cornell education. </p>

<p>For me, I would be very leery of committing to 50K a year -- and, of course, it is more than that because of things like books, trips, clothes, medical stuff, dentists, and such -- in this economy and at my stage of life. </p>

<p>My D received financial aid to a local public college [and by the way, I also worked from high school to college, live in a moderately expensive area, received incremental wage increases, have improved my job skills to remain competitive, have no debt, and such] that will be a fine school for her, I believe. And one of the reasons why it is a fine school is because our share of costs are very affordable and will not change my lifestyle (modest as it is) much, if at all, and there will be money available for unanticipated extras.</p>

<p>It is NOT a big name school, but it offers several very solid programs in fields of my D's interest and it has a big rec center, a Greek system, dorms, and pretty much everything you'd expect at a major university. </p>

<pre><code>She will not graduate with any student loans.

This is just my personal choice, knowing what I know, and at my stage of life.

As for Cornell, well, I have to be honest -- I had not really heard of it until last year when I met a graduate of one of its better known graduate programs and only learned it was an Ivy league school a few months ago when I saw a list of Public Ivy Schools alongside the list of Ivy schools. And I myself have three college degrees and am not exactly living under a rock.
</code></pre>

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<p>im a freshman in college and i turned down university of Pennsylvania for a local university that paid me to go to school. the big thing i considered was my future career. your child should make the decision about what grad school, if any, your kid wants to go to. i got my heart set on med school, so i chose my local university to get 10k-20k in my bank account after im done with undergrad. if i wasnt sure about my future, i would of went to penn in a heartbeat.
if your kid really wants to go, it'll be worth it</p>

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<p>3 college degrees and never heard of cornell? is that even possible</p>

11

<p>We are in your boat OP at least in that we don't qualify for aid but can't really fork out $50,000 a year. We look too solvent on paper to get any FinAid, but the reality is we are retired and have no income to speak of. Paying for a Cornell or MIT or Caltech or Stanford will mean we have to liquidate retirement savings (perhaps unwise) or go back to work (ain't gonna happen). So the public Us and schools where son has received good merit aid are looking very attractive right now. YET, big gulp, if our son got into one of his dream schools, well I just don't know...it MIGHT be worth it. I guess we will cross that bridge if we come to it</p>

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<p>I dunno
Those from the west coast may never have heard of Cornell. A lot of folks from the east coast have never heard of Caltech</p>

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<p>Is it fair? I'll say to you what many wise people have said to me, "Who told you life was fair?" The only control I have is how to view situations and this is my approach to college costs. </p>

<p>There are people who have worked as hard as my spouse and I have who have had their retirement wiped out, whose children have special needs with a stress level I cannot imagine and so on. </p>

<p>If paying for college continues to be our biggest problem, then I will consider us very lucky. And I will think that life has been exceedingly fair to us.</p>

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<p>Maybe I'm an evil parent but I don't get the "if your kid wants to, its worth it" or "if its your kid's dream school..." </p>

<p>These are 18 year olds. They have lots and lots of dreams not based in reality and they are not the ones footing the bill. Plenty of colleges will give a great experience and a great education. I strongly doubt the 'dream' is going to be any better a fit than the safety most of the time. Fortunately the data shows the vast majority of kids end up VERY happy at the school they end up at (only some of which are 'dream schools'). </p>

<p>Most of these 'dreams' are really just like teens other obsessions with having to have the right brand. Fantasies fueled by popular rankings the kids have memorized and repeated among their peer group for years, and trivial things like what the buildings look like or how polite the three students were that they randomly met in the cafeteria. </p>

<p>Just like I won't fund my teens' other 'dreams' like designer clothes, a Porche 911, or travelling the world for 2 years, I'm not funding 'dream colleges' or a four year fantasy either. I will fund a great education at good value that offers a lifetime of benefit, but that is entirely different.</p>

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<p>I think if your kid got into a school like MIT or Yale or Harvard AND he had worked hard to make that dream happen, you would not feel it was such an easy decision to turn away from it. These are not like designer jeans where the style will change next year. While I agree a kid could be happy at any number of schools, if a kid can get into one of these top schools, it would not be an easy thing to turn ones back on it. These schools, while prestigious, are worth more than that prestige. However if the $ is completely out of the question, one should not go into massive debt to fund it. I won't know until/if I am on that bridge just how I will react or what decision we will make.</p>

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<p>Life isn't fair.
But seriously, if forking over $50k would create a hardship either for the parents or the student, then it's not worth it. Parents should not mortgage their house to the hilt (and risk foreclosure) or their future (by dipping into their retirement fund). Students should not start their working life under massive debt.</p>

<p>A student who has a good shot at Cornell ought to be able to get into a good Honors program at a state university, many of which are excellent to start with, or receive merit money from very well-regarded private colleges. Even the ideal college that "fits like a glove" won't look so wonderful if the student has to work hard to pay for loans and has no time left over to enjoy the many opportunities of the oh-so-wonderful school.</p>

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<p>I will say that Cornell is an amazing place. To me, as a Cornell parent, I do think it is worth it. Especially for a student who will take full advantage of the opportunities presented. </p>

<p>My feeling about the place is that it's different from the other Ivies -- to me it does not have the same sort of entitlement aura, but rather a little bit of the blue collar hard work ethic, coupled with high end intellectual inquiry, research, and smarts. Maybe I am describing an honors program at a flagship state U as well -- in that case, Cornell then is a 14,000 kid honors program.</p>

<p>I have seen and continue to see, as I have S2 coming along, many different colleges and universities. I think Cornell is unique and I am glad we can afford it.</p>

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<p>"we can afford it." That's the operative statement. No college that is beyond a family's means, however wonderful is "worth it."</p>

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<p>One of the biggest things that I have seen is not if it can be afforded, rather, what would some people say if you did not go to a particular school (and max out the student loans, grants, merit money, etc.) when you got in. The other day, one student laughed when she learned that my son landed a full scholarship to a state university (OOS, that is), because she thought it was a two-bit school. BTW, it is an excellent school, too. It's not Cornell. It's not Ivy, but a full scholarship at this school is worth at least $100,000. If he were to land additional monies, they would be paying him to attend the school. Not only would he graduate debt-free but he would have money for grad school. Most kids have no idea how much college costs. And those same students think that they can always get a loan -- well, a loan means you have to pay it back, and one of our college counselors just pointed out that the payments can start before graduation.</p>

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<p>Bring back the Evil Robot thread!</p>