<p>Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. It's risky to share your gut reaction, but to read your variety of thoughts and opinions was very helpful. I do believe that success has many paths and taking stock of the the opinions, values, and experiences of others helps with the navigation.</p>
<p>My s really liked Cornell but the decision was easy for us because he didn't get in. That was tough because we do have a number of family members who attended. So s went to honors college at our good flagship state and has done well. He's looking at the possibility of law school - and will actually have money in his pocket when he graduates (we save one of his three scholarships). So it turned out well.
But I do understand the feelings here. Cornell has a name. It has a good reputation. Only you can determine if the quality of the education would be that much better than your child's other choice. I agree with the poster who advised you to be careful about falling for "branding." Going to a brand school can be expensive, - and you get bragging rights for sure. But 200k? That's scary...unless you think you can afford it.<br>
I have a good friend who said she would live on the streets when she retires rather than "downgrade" her kids education to a public. Yes, her son is going to a pretty high rated and VERY expensive private. And they really can't afford it right now. But she really thinks there is no turning back. I can't relate to that...but hey..this is a very personal decision.</p>
<p>I would work hard to find a school the kid would love equally. </p>
<p>If something happens to me during the four years, I have the EFC AND additional funds in the bank, for college. </p>
<p>And things tend to happen.</p>
<p>If I were younger and/or had a high powered career and/or a hard working spouse and/or the motivation to go out and work fulltime, then I would feel differently.</p>
<p>BUT momwhowantsthebest wants the best for her child and we all relate to that; I do think it is an emotional decision but in the end, you do not want to go through life asking yourself "what if we had sent child to Cornell?" and feel wistful.</p>
<p>And yes, I had no clue it was an Ivy. I knew it was expensive before I knew anything else about it. And I had been to Ithaca TWICE -- and stopped! -- before knowing about Cornell. The town of Ithaca is absolutely charming. </p>
<p>In sum, so many of us here are worried about finances that we are looking for college financial situations that are more realistic for our families. momwhowantsthebest may be in a different situation and possibly the child will receive a scholarship for some portion of the tuition.</p>
<p>momwhowantsthebest, we were in exactly your position last year. My d was accepted to Cornell and was in love with the idea of going there. It would have been a great fit for her but like you, we do not qualify for any financial aid. For some strange reason, we don't feel as wealthy as the EFC seems to think we are. We do have college savings, but have kid #2 coming up in another year. </p>
<p>We went over the finances of Cornell versus our state school with D, including exactly how much she would need in loans, and what her monthly payments would be after graduation. She decided to go with the state school, and is very happy there. She can't imagine being anywhere else. Luckily, we live in a state with a highly regarded flagship university, and I admit that this would have been a harder decision to make if that were not the case.</p>
<p>How invested is your child in Cornell? Is your child willing to take on HALF the debt to go there? If he/she is not willing to go into debt for themselves, but wants YOU to take on all the debt, I would say it doesn't fit THAT much like a glove. They have to be so in love with it they are willing to pay for it for many years to come. Seems that a lot of times things are not that important to a child if they have to put up half the money. Just my opinion.</p>
<ol>
<li>Kid will be more in their peer groupings</li>
<li>A residential college will have a huge population from out of locality and be more worldly
3 Big alumni association that is probably more active and again global.
4 Don't know about the cost, Its never about the cost. Its about the perceived value.</li>
</ol>
<p>My blue collar neighbors joke in thier children's presence that they don't have the money to send their kids to college. no way, no how.</p>
<p>In the backyard are two snow mobiles, three ATVs, the BIG trailer RV that dad takes on his annual two-week hunting trip with his $5000 worth of hunting equipment. Plus two vacations a year and turning down overtime to "screw the man." </p>
<p>Transpose this to a different town with different demographics; daddy's toys change but the song is the same. </p>
<p>College isn't paid for out of current income; its paid for by the incremental decisions one makes week in and week out. Do you need the magazine subscription? Do you need that vacation or cell phone or the latest DVD.</p>
<p>I tire of the whining.</p>
<p>A friend of ours had a daughter who wanted to go to Cornell. She didn't get in. She ended up at RPI with a great merit scholarship. She had great summer internships, graduated early and is now a grad student at Cornell. And best of all they are paying her to attend.</p>
<p>people, could anyone tell us how many of these "worth it or not" or "which is better" post CC has had? It is objective and there is no one answer for everyone. let's just agree to disagree.</p>
<p>PG once developed a long comprehensive checking list to help students find their "dream" school. Maybe PG or someone could develop another such list to determine "worth it or not". </p>
<p>College education is not just about classroom experiences. The peer group interaction and other activities would significantly enhance one's college experiences. </p>
<p>The highly endowed private schools have more resources - weekend trips, off campus science lab, the best equipment, their own school abroad etc. DD has taken exploratory trips, 5 day all inclusive, to geological sites for $100. </p>
<p>The highly selective privates have a higher % of better students. One does not need to go out to search your peers. On the other hand, I don't know if you need more than 20 "friends" in college. </p>
<p>I don't have any data to tell if it is easier to get an A in Harvard or a State school.</p>
<p>Son accepted Cornell, Swartmore, Duke, PSU Honors.
Summer of freshman yr. one of two freshman chosen (RUE) to work with graduate research team (program rated top 6 in nation) and ended up included in published research. Second summer interned for fortune 500 company. His advisor has known him since summer before freshman year and is a great mentor. School has sent him on fully paid trips to Texas, Florida, California, Michigan and Indiana for his EC. So far so good at state honors.</p>
<p>
[quote]
friend of ours had a daughter who wanted to go to Cornell. She didn't get in. She ended up at RPI with a great merit scholarship. She had great summer internships, graduated early and is now a grad student at Cornell. And best of all they are paying her to attend.
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</p>
<p>This is exactly our thinking and its extremely common I should add. </p>
<p>We pretty much assume our kids will want to go on beyond their UG which we really don't think is that big a deal. And we know from our intimate knowledge of what it takes to get into a top program in one's field for graduate studies (we are both academics); there isn't much point in paying a premium at the undergrad level. In fact, looking back at my own PhD (and current students at my alma mater, which is the top in my field), students come from a wide range of schools. You could not tell who had gone to Princeton from who had gone to State U at so-in-so campus. I currently teach at a public and routinely send my students to extremely top schools for graduate study (where they are fully funded). Very many of my colleagues, at schools like Harvard and Stanford, went to undergrad colleges not mentioned on CC. </p>
<p>Sure undergraduate education matters, but not in a USNWR kind of way. For example, if our child wants to go into X field, we know exactly how to find the right undergrad experience for that and the path to a PhD in that field. What we'd scope out and look for an undergrad education is not at all what people do in their searches on CC. I know our kids could also go to a very wide range of schools to get into a top MBA program (I've sat on many an adcom for that), and the same for med school from what I gather.</p>
<p>starbright,</p>
<p>Would you elaborate, in general terms, what you'd be looking for?</p>
<p>
[quote]
What we'd scope out and look for an undergrad education is not at all what people do in their searches on CC.
[/quote]
.</p>
<p>I'm new to this but enjoying it already. What i'm getting from all the feedback is that,as i kinda knew, there is no automatic "right or wrong answer" and ultimately the decision depends on each's own circumstances. My dtr has been accepted to Yale(which offered some but not a lot of $ based on my income) as well as UNC and Villanova. Those schools have not made any merit-based offers yet (separate mailings come later) but i'm thankful, i think, that my dtr is being open-minded and wants to hear from ALL her schools re $ offers before we/she makes a decision. So far she's made it to "2nd round" of full-ride scholarship competition at UVA (long way to go before knowing if she'll be one of 30-40 recipients) and i am fairly confident that she will be receiving a lucrative offer from Fordham and hopefully get into our state's flagship u. I'm a professional and while i make a comfortable living i am NOT wealthy and i have 2 other dtrs who will hopefully be wanting to go to college in 5,6 years respectively. Ive got $ for 1st year but after that it'll be a bit of a struggle. Long story short, tough decision! that being said, and this is what i meant when i said earlier that i "think" i'm thankful that d is open-minded, no matter WHAT offers might be forthcoming in the end she/i may be hard-pressed to say no to "YALE", sad to say, JUST bcz of the name!</p>
<p>I'm with you, toadstool. I attended a leading state flagship, a top LAC and two top graduate programs. Although one can extract comparable "educations" from each, the caliber of the student body at the "elite" schools is notable and meaningful. I learned as much from my peers at the top schools as I did from my professors. At the flagship, not so much. To me, it's worth the extra money to provide the "elite" education to my two children. Sure, it's a sacrifice but, by definition, raising children entails parental sacrifice. I'm not complaining.</p>
<p>Post #9:</p>
<p>
[quote]
if i wasnt sure about my future, i would of went to penn in a heartbeat.
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<p>You're killing me here. You know that, don't you?</p>
<p>Shouldn't the OP be having this conversation with their child? Sometimes we frget it is our investment, but it is their future and their education.</p>
<p>I find it odd that you ask the question, when you have already made up your mind about what you are going to do.</p>
<p>I'd like to see a new sub-forum...something like "is it worth it." I know that as new participants come to CC, it seems like a new topic....but there are some classic threads....and it would be great if they were all put into one spot. There's Evil Robot's....and a few by Curmudgeon (not in-state flagship vs $50,000....but essentially the same topic of lower cost/free ride vs $50,000). And some of DadII's....that didn't go completely off topic. Taxguy also has some threads on this topic, I think. And I'm sure there are more.</p>
<p>There are a significant number of upper middle class/lower upper class families....many on CC....with bright kids who will get into the $50,000/year schools and will not qualify for financial help. While a salary of $150,000 - $200,000 is substantial....once taxes and other required deductions are made....and living expenses (even ones that involve a reduction in lifestyle) are factored in....that salary doesn't result in $50,000 per year "excess" cash. So...for those families and or kids....where savings have been minimal....loans will be required. Based on the small sample of CC posters...but the significant number of posts on CC with this topic....there are quite a few families that fall into this category.</p>
<p>You'll see examples of both choices...loans and $50,000 school as well as no/low loans and state flaship or merit scholarship school....having been made by CC posters and their kids. Most are happy with the choice they made. A few have regrets.</p>
<p>This choice in some way parallels other choices we've had to make in our lives (high paying constant overtime job, vs quality of life job; small house in great school district versus large house in adequate school district, etc.) </p>
<p>It would be interesting to somehow equate these types of decisions and see if families choose in similar ways (a great social science project for Intel/STS if someone is looking for a topic! Could probably find a mentor in the sociology or psychology field....and wouldn't need to spend a fortune in lab cost......oh...that's another thread!)</p>
<p>I like the idea of the Intel project.</p>
<p>I am not impressed by our In state schools, and we have no flagship.</p>
<p>The quality of my children's lives is definitely enhanced by the private LAC's they are attending. Worth $50K? That's impossible to answer.</p>
<p>I will say that I have not had a vacation in five years apart from visiting them. I will not be redoing my kitchen. I am working a second job.</p>
<p>Those sacrifices are definitely worth it to me. Massive debt? No.</p>
<p>
[Quote]
I'd like to see a new sub-forum...something like "is it worth it."
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</p>
<p>I know I'm guilty of one: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/41343-ivys-top-lacs-worth.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/41343-ivys-top-lacs-worth.html</a></p>
<p>
[Quote]
It would be interesting to somehow equate these types of decisions and see if families choose in similar ways (a great social science project for Intel/STS if someone is looking for a topic!
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<p>What we really need is a long term identical twin study :D</p>